Virgin!
by Ihopeitsbenign
Summary: Reid meets a new guy that he's desperate to impress so he claims to be more sexually experienced than he really is. While his new boyfriend is out of town he asks Morgan to help improve his skill so his cover won't be blown. Smut Warning!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 1**

Morgan stared at his best friend with a puzzled frown. "Are you trying to kill me?" He waved the sodden mess on the end of his fork under Reid's nose. "This is not a casserole and no part of it has ever been chicken."

"I don't know what went wrong I followed the recipe to the letter." Reid looked distressed as he scrapped the food on to a single plate and dumped it in the kitchen sink. He turned with an odd smile. "I have that beer you like."

"What's going on with you? You seem twitchier than usual."

Reid placed the open bottle in front of Morgan his eyes darting anywhere but at those knowing eyes. "I – uhhh kind of need a favor!" His voice cracked on the last word and he cleared his throat nervously. "A big favor."

"So all this was a bribe?" Morgan's wave encompassed the tiny kitchen taking in the carefully set table, home cooked meal and foreign alcoholic beverages. An old fashioned radio – it still had a tape deck for Gods sake – was tuned to Morgan's favorite station. If he didn't know better, he'd think Reid was trying to seduce him.

"I prefer to think of it as incentive." Pointy knees knocked his under the tiny table.

"Incentive to what? Out with it. You're starting to make me nervous."

"We are friends right?" Reid got up and started to pace. His long legs ate up the tiny space. "I mean you tell me all the time that I can tell you anything."

Morgan leaned forward placing his elbows on the battered tabletop. The kid never really opened up about personal stuff so whatever it was it must be big. "Okaaay, what's up?"

"I met someone."

"That's it? You had me worried for second there, man. Who is she?"

"He."

"You did this whole song and dance routine cos you were afraid to tell me that you're gay?" Morgan got up leaning next to Reid by the sink. "I'm a little insulted. You know I'm not homophobic."

"I'm not gay. I think maybe. I don't know – it's just him! I've never felt that way before. Hot and fluttery and…"

"Horny?"

Reid flushed a deep red. "I prefer aroused but – yeah"

"So you want me to meet this guy? Check him out."

"No I - I uhhh sex."

It was difficult to decipher Reid's meaning amidst all the mumbling. "You need sex advice? Can't you figure out where everything goes? You are a genius after all."

"I know where everything goes. I need – I want you to have sex with me."

Morgan had to lean in to catch the last part. Reid's voice was barely a whisper by that point. "You want me to WHAT? Why?"

"I may have led Alex to believe that I'm more - um experienced than I really am."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Morgan barked at him. "Do you have any idea how easily you get hurt?"

"I panicked. I know his last…the guy he was with before. He is perky, outgoing and sexual whereas my charms tend to appeal to a very small select group of people." The derisive laugh was painful to hear. "He barely noticed me till I began to channel you. The confident swagger and everything."

"Ah Dr. Reid! You seem better than the rest of us then something like this happens. Turns out you are just a guy led around by his cock like the rest of us."

"Are you mocking me? I think you're mocking me."

"Why don't you just watch a video or read a book something other than this?"

"I already did that. I have the theoretical part down but in practice my reactions are unschooled and awkward. I'm not comfortable being touched. You are in fact the only person so far that I… Standing here baring my soul to you isn't as fun for me as it is for you."

"Reid…"

"I am lonely. I am. I don't have anyone. Do you how strange it is to be surrounded by couples all the time? JJ and Will, Kevin and Garcia, Hotch and Beth. Hell even you have a different girl on your arm every week." His voice rang out stronger edged with determination. "I'm going to die alone if I don't at least try to be normal. Alex is smart and he likes me. He actually likes me. He didn't roll his eyes once when I accidentally went on and on about the Death Star."

"That _**is**_ the dream." Morgan shook his head in disbelief. "He doesn't even know the real you"

"Dammit Morgan, I am not you. I don't meet a dozen people willing to date me every time I walk out the front door. If this is the only chance I get to be with someone I'm going to take it."

"Then why don't you just come clean? If he cares at all about you he will understand."

Dripping with sarcasm Reid replied, "Yeah because virginity is such a desired trait in a 30 year old man." He brushed his hair impatiently from his face. "Besides its too late I already lied. The only thing I can possibly do right now is turn the lie into truth before he gets back in three weeks."

"So you'd rather cheat on him than be caught in a lie?"

"In order to be unfaithful I'd have to engage in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. No promises have been made so technically we aren't together yet. From that we can infer that it's not really cheating."

"There's nothing a guy loves like logic when he discovers his boyfriend been sleeping with somebody else. Maybe you should use a professional?"

"A prostitute? NO. I'd rather be with somebody I trust. You are at the top of a very short list."

It was Morgan's turn to pace. Images flashed through his mind, Reid naked - on his knees, begging for him. How is it he'd never given a second thought to his friend's sexuality and now it was all he could think about? "How much do I have to show you?"

"Everything."

"Everything? I saw you kiss Lila so maybe we don't need to go that far back."

"You saw her kiss me and it ended pretty quickly. I didn't have time to analyze exactly what I was feeling let alone doing. I'm not sure what role tongues are supposed to play. You know like…" He demonstrated pink tongue flicking and darting doing a very poor imitation of a terrible porn star.

Morgan's palm connected with the back of his head. "No. No. You never do that to anyone. Ever."

"Ow! Is your tutorship going to involve hitting? I don't like that."

"Don't be a baby. It was a love tap." _You don't yet know what you like. _Morgan's heart began to thud, blood racing in anticipation. This was actually happening. "If I'm to do this we need rules. One; nobody ever finds out about this. I mean nobody."

"The Great Derek Morgan? Who would even believe me?"

"Pay attention I have no problem hitting you again. Two; I'm always the pitcher never the catcher."

"Wait, I know that phrase. It is sports." Reid crowed in triumph. "Why are we talking about sports - its an analogy - a baseball analogy! Ha!"

"Get there faster."

"Catching." A sudden blush infused his entire face spreading down to his neck. "I uh prefer to uh – catch anyway."

"Ok. Three; if at any time either one of us wants to stop, we stop. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Come on. We should start before I change my mind."

"Now? I had a - uh plan and flash cards." Reid followed him into the living room. "I've been cooking and it was really hot. Shouldn't I be cleaner?"

"You think too much." He patted the cushion next to him. Reid shuffled forward and sat stiffly next to him. "Kiss me." He ordered.

Soft dry lips brushed his so quickly they'd been and gone before Morgan could catch his breath. "Was that okay?"

This was obviously going to be more show than tell. "This will be easier if I kiss you. Just follow my lead."

Morgan leaned over till their noses touched he was so close he could see the flecks of gold in Reid's nervous eyes. Head cocked he gently pressed against the tightly closed lips stroking his hand up the slim back. Excitement slammed into him at the chaste kiss. If he could think he might have questioned how quickly he'd embraced their new status quo but it didn't matter to him how they'd come to be here just that they were. With a soft sigh Reid slightly parted his lips chasing his tutor's hot mouth even as his slight body shivered and trembled in desire. Morgan run his big hand along the back of Reid's neck sliding his dark fingers up into the soft brunette tresses. He felt delicate under him breakable even, every shuddery breath made Morgan feel bigger, stronger his alpha side barely restrained. He'd never wanted to pin somebody down and just take as badly as he did right now.

It would have been perfect except for one tiny problem. "What's going on with your hands? You look like you're trying to take flight!"

"I don't know where to put them."

"Go with your instincts." Reid still eyed him warily. "You can touch me wherever you want."

Morgan captured the soft pink lips again, gratified to feel a cautious hand grabbing his bicep. _God, he'd never been this hard! _He felt it the moment Reid fully relaxed because he began to rub excitedly against him. His other hand dipped under the tight t-shirt to trace the tattoo on Morgan's lower back. The noises Reid made; soft gasps and desperate pants reached inside him tugging at his groin.

He had to get closer. With a powerful move he flipped the genius under him thrusting urgently between the widespread legs. The ancient couch protested under their combined weight letting out a squeak with every pumping motion. Reid's slim legs wrapped tight around his waist a slow bump and grind mashed clothed erections together. Morgan tried to get up… slow down… breathe but Reid made a sound of distress and dragged him back down fusing their lips together. Open-mouthed wet kisses drew him into a deep dark well of need. _Sweet, he was so fucking sweet!_

"I can't stop." Morgan breathed into that intoxicating mouth. His mind swam even as he picked up the pace. _Holy fuck!_ He slipped his tongue back into Reid eating the wild cries as the slim body shuddered and heaved against his. The liquid warmth that soaked through his pants set him off. "Reid." He bellowed hand fisted in Reid's hair holding him in place as he pumped to completion with mindless abandon.

Their harsh breathing echoed in the room as they trembled riding out the aftershocks. "Morgan?"

"Hmmm."

"Can't breathe."

_Oh damn._ Morgan scrambled off of him. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

The languid heavy lidded smile Reid bestowed on him shook him to his core. "Is it always so – um - intense?"

_No._ "Yes." Morgan shook his head in an attempt to clear the lusty fog that still danced up and down his spine. _That was a hell of a kiss._ "It's always like that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**The response to this story has been overwhelming. Thank you so much, jenny crum, nannily, fantomax27, Rainandstorm, LoveforPenandDerek, Steph, Cacamilis, NathanRose, BuffyReid, Terni and Kisama-sama. I love you guys. I write what I'd like to read or see happen on the show so its amazing to receive such overwhelming support. Hope you love this chapter.**

**I have taken some liberties with the office layout so it can fit the story.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 2**

Morgan waited impatiently in his office. A quick look at the clock showed it'd just gone 8. Where the fuck was Reid? It's not like he had to spend a lot of time in the shower, he paused at the thought of that skinny – skinny white body dripping with suds wet, slippery. He was hard again! Great! After he'd spent all last night jerking off like a pimply teenager…there he is. Thank God!

He took out his phone and hit the speed dial. He could see Reid through the large window. He was rifling through his man purse to find his phone. How much crap does he have in there? Bingo!

"Morgan, hi"

"Why are you whispering?"

"I - I - I"

"Do you have any idea how hot it makes me when you stammer like that? I just want to give you something else to do with that mouth."

"Morgan…" He whined breathlessly scrambling into his chair. "Don't do that."

"Do what, pretty boy? Turn you on. I assume that's why you're pressed up so hard against the desk?"

Reid searched around the bullpen for him in vain.

"Do you want me to stop?" Morgan could see him shaking his head, knuckles white as he dug into the wood. "Say it."

Reid's doe eyes finally collided with his, rendering distance useless "Don't – stop!" _He may as well just have reached out and grabbed your cock._

"I got you a lil something. Top drawer."

He waited while the slim agent pulled out the carefully wrapped package. Nobody in the history of time had ever unwrapped a present so carefully. By the time he pulled open the box and picked up the large sucker Morgan was ready to explode.

"You got me a lollipop?"

"Cherry for my cherry."

"It's so – um – big!"

"That's the idea. I want it in your mouth."

Reid ripped off the candy wrapper eyes shyly flicking to Morgan for instruction. "Now lick it. Just the tip. Slowly..."

"Hey, hot stuff"

_Son of a bitch!_ The high-pitched voice almost gave him a heart attack. "Garcia, you need to wear a bell or something." He snapped at her dragging the high backed chair in front of him.

"That's no way to talk to the goddess that brings you blueberry muffins." She dropped a basket on his desk removing the checked cloth with flair. "You need to get laid. It will calm all that crazy down."

_I am trying._ Morgan glanced back quickly only to discover Reid had left his station. He had a good idea where he'd find him. Just need to get rid of Garcia.

"I'm sorry sweetness, my mum's sick. It's just a cold but she's old you know how it is. Could you give me a second? I need to call her." He felt a slight pang of guilt for using his mum as an excuse. God she'd have his head if she knew. Luckily all thoughts of his mama took care of the problem in his pants. "You know what I will feel better if I call her from the roof. This place…"He gestured. "With the cameras. No privacy. That's what I get for working for the man. See ya."

He dashed out too afraid to look back. One hint of deception from him and she'd go nuts trying to sniff the truth out. _Working for the man?_ He'd never said those words a day in his life. He was fucking idiot!

Morgan slowed down when he got to the break room. The sight of Reid bent over fiddling with the coffee maker muttering to himself set him off again. Tight grey material stretched across high firm cheeks. God that ass! His palms actually itched to touch, grab, fondle.

Reid sprang upright like a gazelle scenting a lion when Morgan closed the door. He turned around warily, eyes devouring, lips still held the hot pink stain from the candy. "That was – uh!" he shook his head, "not professional."

"Do you want to stop?" Morgan asked as he crowded him.

"N – N –No."

"You know what does to me." Morgan looked around spotting the open door to the empty pantry. That will do.

He dragged him inside, locked the door and shoved the genius against it. Their lips met in a violent kiss, Reid giving as good as he got. Morgan had never held back so carefully, he ached to ravage the hot mouth till he there was nothing left. _Slow down. Don't freak him out._ He pushed Reid away from him pining the slender man to the unforgiving wood.

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

"Ask for what you want." Morgan kissed him again pulling back and holding him against the door when he reached for him.

Reid mewled piteously. "You know what I want."

"Ask." Morgan ordered.

Reid pouted for a while. He looked so thoroughly dejected Morgan almost caved. Then his mouth twisted in a naughty grin, he looked up, an unholy light gleaming in those beautiful brown eyes. Here we go. "Touch me." His long tapered fingers traced the bulge in his pants. It was Morgan's turn to groan as he rushed to answer his bidding.

Their eyes met and held as Morgan slowly undid his belt and zipper, letting the pants slide to the floor with a silent whoosh. "Hmmn, I'm disappointed. You seemed like a tighty-whitey kind of guy." He startled a laugh out of Reid that erupted into a gasp when Morgan thrust his thumbs into the boxers roughly pushing them down.

_Oh fuck!_ This was even better than he'd imagined. Pale skin glowed as a proud cock jutted from a nest of soft brown curls. He had to touch. His fingers lightly grazed the sensitive head and Reid began to vibrate his whole body twisting and dancing while he moaned incoherently. "Touchme!Touchme!" repeated over and over.

Morgan almost drowned under the surge of power that coursed through him. His own pleasure was forgotten. He wanted to see Reid go over the edge, know that it was him – only him - that did it for him. He rubbed his palm slowly over the weeping head, gobs of precum slid down the shaft, running down the pale thighs. His other hand cupped the heavy balls tugging lightly while he nibbled at the flushed neck. Reid began to thrust desperately into his wet palm.

Morgan clapped his hand over his mouth after a particularly high scream. _That's my boy!_ Still throaty moans leaked out as Reid tumbled towards completion. Morgan worked his hand in a twisting motion and Reid released a ragged sound.

"Come…" Reid's eyes glazed over at Morgan's hoarse whisper. "…now."

He stepped aside just in time to avoid getting painted by Reid's cum as the genius shook with every spurt; his knees trembled then gave out and he sunk to the pantry floor.

Reid was practically comatose when Morgan redressed him. "What have you done to me?"

"'I'm giving you 'experience'." Derek kissed his swollen pink lips. "You'll thank me later."

Morgan waited till Reid had composed himself enough to leave. He wanted desperately to relieve himself but those lips wrapped around his shaft later would be worth the wait.

He drew to a halt when he finally escaped the dank room. This is the last thing he needed right now.

"I don't know what you think you're doing screwing around with Reid but keep it at home." His boss snapped at him.

"Screwing around with Reid? I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I can see into your office from the conference room."

"Hotch, I am begging you do not breathe a word of this to him."

Hotch raised that fucking stubborn brow at him that said' don't be an idiot'. The superior smug bastard. He of course would never be caught in little more than a closet with a co-worker. It seemed safest to retreat. He was almost out the door when he heard. "And Morgan?" He turned around reluctantly. "Be careful."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews; Jenny crum, Cacamilis, Nannily, LoveforPenandDerek, Antigone21, Lederra, Anon (whoever you are thank you), deathangel23, Marinelvr84 and Terni.**

**Ok, I have a huge dilemma. With the site cracking down on smut (thanks for the warning; LoveforPenandDerek) I'm not sure how to finish this story in the vein it was intended. It was originally supposed to be really filthy and detailed (I'm sorry Antigone21) but now I'm kinda stuck. I don't want to give up on it. This new chapter I kind of pulled back a bit hoping to stay within the guidelines. I don't know if I managed to pull it off. Just let me know what you think.**

**I'm keeping Prentiss I know her character left at the end of season seven but I prefer to believe that she will return at some point.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 3**

"Is he…giggling?" Morgan stared incredulously at Reid. He'd never seen him act so girly, as in teenage girl - girly. They'd been called to Atlanta to track down a serial killer that targeted middle aged divorced women in affluent neighborhoods. Each time the killer had ripped them open from collar to taint, scooped out their hearts and displayed it prominently on their mantels. Sara Hamilton was his fifth victim in as many weeks. She'd been found when her teenage daughter came home suddenly from camp. The immediate family still huddled in shock in the driveway, comforting each other as best they could. It was in the middle of this mess that he could hear Reid giggling, his voice carrying through the open window from the backyard where he stood.

JJ stood besides Morgan arms across her vest. "He's talking to his new boyfriend." She told him. "Alex somebody. He won't let me meet him says he wants to make sure they stick first."

"Oh that's cute!" Prentiss remarked next to her. "He seems so happy."

"Yeah but what do we really know about this guy? He could be a nut job."

"That's awfully cynical, JJ. You have a child. Shouldn't you believe in fairytales, soulmates and all that crap? "

"What does being a mum have to with it?" JJ questioned indignantly.

Morgan let their argument wash over him. He refused to join in. All he could do was watch Reid. Watch him wave his arms about, laugh into the phone and chatter in the sort of animation he usually only saved for his geek stuff. It was unsettling and he couldn't figure out why the more he watched him the more pissed off he got. The house was swamped with law enforcement and his coworkers. This was not the time to deal with this. If ever.

"We are in the middle of a crime scene." He snarled at Prentiss before he stormed off. "Shut him up."

Much later they were about to give the profile when Reid sidled up next to him. "Sorry." He whispered. "Alex called and I lost tra..." Morgan moved away from him ignoring his puzzled frown and going to stand next to Rossi.

A call came through on the tip line soon after which led to a flurry of activity. By the time Morgan limped down the 70's themed hallway at 2am all he wanted to do was get into bed and ease the pressure on his throbbing ankle. He paused inside the doorway. The sound of the shower running was a sudden unwelcome reminder that he and Reid were sharing a room. It didn't take long for all his unacknowledged rage to roar back especially when Reid came back in, a tiny red scrap riding low on his jutting hip bones.

"Oh for fuck's sake." He muttered looking away. It seemed his body was determined to betray him. He turned his back on the tempting creature putting his gun and badge on the bedside drawer.

"Morgan?"

"What? What the fuck do you want?" He snapped turning around to find the pale skin too close to him. Beads of water chased each other across alabaster before disappearing into the fluffy towel. Pink nipples pebbled under his hot gaze. He had to sit down. Rage, pain and desire clamored inside of him. Those innocent wide eyes peering meekly at him weren't helping.

"You seemed mad at me."

He wasn't going to get drawn into that conversation. Morgan lay back on the bed, eyes closed hoping Reid would just go to bed and stop torturing him.

"A - A – uh – are you okay?"

"Christ!" He moaned. "Don't do that right now."

"I just want to help."

"You want to help? You can go to bed…or you can put that mouth to good use and make me feel better." Silence filled the room and Morgan thought he'd succeeded in scaring him off. He tamped down his disappointment and tried to sleep. At the slight dip on the bed next to him his eyes snapped open to find a naked, trembling but determined genius, a pool of scarlet at his feet. _God, he's so fucking beautiful!_

He was speechless when Reid climbed over him straddling his hips. The slender body shook so hard atop of him causing the bed to vibrate. Morgan's zipper dug into his hard cock and he reached down adjusting himself causing Reid to gasp at the slight caress. He was trying so hard for control as white teeth bit down on a plump lower lip, eyes briefly meeting Morgan's.

Morgan raised his hand letting his thumb brush over a hard nipple, Reid shivered leaning into the caress. "Look at me." Doe eyes clashed with his at the command. "I love you like this…on your knees…shaking… desperate for me." He dragged him down; hand fisted tight in silky hair and took him in hard kiss. "You'll do whatever I want?" His only reply was whimpers, moans and a head bob. "That's my pretty boy." He took one of the slender hands and pressed it tight against his buckle.

Reid scooted back a little and then pale fingers began to fumble with his belt. "Fuck!" He groaned when his hard length was exposed to those eyes, a hesitant but firm hand wrapped around him. Stroking, exploring, discovering. The sight of that mouth so close to him was too much and he forced him closer, hot breath on heated flesh.

"Fuck…God…fuck!" A pink tongue swiped at him. Darting and licking in hot wet circles, then finally he slowly sunk into the hot mouth. It was too much. Morgan's imagination didn't even come close to reality. He was torn between wanting to thrust and just lying back and letting his pleasure build. Slow sucking around the big head with a muffled humming sent shockwaves through him. He watched him, pink lips working obscenely up and down his shaft, the occasional catch of teeth triggered more pleasure instead of less.

Morgan could feel thrusting between his legs. Reid was so lost in what he was doing he humped against the duvet using the friction to feed his own need to come. Their coupling turned into a marathon, they urgently thrust, rocking and twisting. He threw his head back close to release. "I'm gonna –"he tried to move but the sucking mouth held him in a tight grip, tongue lapping frantically at the slit. He bucked crying out as orgasm took him oblivious to the other man reaching climax as well.

Reid collapsed head on a firm muscular thigh. He panted harshly into his groin. Warm gusts coursed over him, stirring him up again. Morgan run his fingers through brown tresses pulling him up to look into his wide stunned eyes. He was exhausted, replete. How did he still manage to look so fucking innocent after a ride like that?

"Angel?"

"Hmmn" Reid breathed out.

"Get up here." He coaxed and cajoled the boneless genius till he lay next to him. Morgan leaned in and kissed him, tongue probing he could taste himself salty and bitter. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to taste you." Reid buried his face into his neck clinging to him. They lay like that in silence until the younger man drifted off to sleep loosening his grip on the damp shirt. Morgan run his hands up and down the skinny back, stopping to caress each bump of his spine before he pulled the duvet off the other bed covering them both.

Morgan was jerked from sleep by a shrill ringtone. His head felt like he was wading through cotton but Reid remained dead to the world still plastered against his side. "Reid phone." He jerked him awake.

The offensive sound finally ended. "Alex. Hi!"

_I have to get the fuck out of here._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews; Steph, Lynny, Jenny crum, Nannily, LoveforPenandDerek, Lederra, Brunette Chic, WheresReenie, AJ, JustaFan and Marinelvr84.**

**AN: I've changed points of view.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 4**

Reid unlocked the door to his tiny empty freezing apartment. It felt good to be home. Their last case had been gruesome, the unsub…he didn't believe in the Christian definition of good and evil…but even a non believer could see the devil in Saul Ryan. He tried to clear his head, purge the filth that clung to him. It never did him any good to bring his work home with him. Monday morning would come soon enough.

Especially since Atlanta had become one of his favorite cities. The thought of it brought to mind his best friend and his best friend's turgid cock shooting down his throat. Every time he closed his eyes he could taste him, feel him, pulsing throbbing bitter sweet. Reid swallowed convulsively.

Morgan had ignored him the whole way home. If he hadn't shut him out he would have noticed him staring, the impossible to hide, hungry glances dancing up and down his body. The craving was almost too much to bear. He leaned against his kitchen table ripped open his pants and grabbed his erect length. Replaying the hot kisses, the feel of that firm mouth working over his had him groaning. This was the best use of his eidetic memory he'd ever found.

It made no sense. He'd always hated feeling weak but he couldn't deny that he loved it when Morgan manhandled him…made him desire to submit to him.

Reid tugged harder at his cock pulled faster, memories slammed into him. God he wanted, he needed. He sobbed desperate for completion but unable to finish without that low seductive voice, demanding that he gives up his very soul. For a split second he considered going over to Morgan's he knew exactly how to work him now. He wouldn't even need to fake the stammer. Maybe the older agent would pull him forward gripping his hair. Strands tight pin pricks of pain spreading heat across his scalp. Maybe that's what he was; a slut for pain or a slut just for Morgan? What would it be like to hear those words from Morgan's lips?

A word he'd rather hear streaked across his conscious. Angel. He replayed it in the exact intonation. Angel. His cock twitched and bounced angrily as he spilled his load with an inhuman cry.

Reid sat on his kitchen floor watching his cum drip down the badly chipped counters. He knew that sexual congress inevitably led to emotional intimacy. His body was releasing hormones to form an attachment with his chosen mate that would ensure the continuation of the species. It was simple human biology. He knew that. But it was one thing to read about it quite another to live it. He was confused. Ideally he would have been able to talk to Morgan about what he was feeling… or Alex…God it hurt to think his name. He should end this madness. He wanted to end it. Maybe one last time then he'd tell Morgan he wanted to stop. This is ridiculous he was overreacting. He wasn't going to let his body triumph over his mind like an average man.

While cleaning up the kitchen then himself he carried on with his one person debate until his phone beeped ending the torturous session.

It was a text from Morgan. "I'm picking you up in an hour. Be ready."

His breath quickened butterflies exploded in his lower abdomen. He sat on his bed assailed with nerves. Was tonight the night? He knew Morgan had been taking things slow which he appreciated. The slow build had helped to ease some of his inhibitions and though he was still terrified to give himself to him completely, he was incredibly turned on. Apparently his erect penis knew no fear only want and anticipation.

Was that the time? A half hour had gone by. Morgan would be here soon. That didn't give him a lot of time. He wanted to appear confident, seductive but his clothes weren't exactly a fashion plate. His hallway mirror reflected pale skin, too bright eyes and untamable curls. Running around changing clothes, all the flipping and primping hadn't succeeded in making him a runway model. He'd have to do.

A heavy knock set his blood racing. He swallowed nervously and went to open the door. Morgan looked amazing. A thin red sweater clung to muscular contours and black pants hugged lean powerful thighs. He wanted to strip him explore every inch of the powerful body, first with his hands then with his tongue. He wanted to lap and lick and devour. Fingers snapped in front of his face.

"Spence, the drool is quite the compliment but we gotta go."

He flushed with embarrassment wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Let me get my coat." "He called you Spence." Reid worried as he hurried into his bedroom. "What does it mean?" He'd rather hear 'Angel' – God he was obsessed - maybe he'll say it if you please him again. Reid picked up his phone then hesitated, Alex might call. Morgan hated that. He hadn't tried very hard to shield his emotions the last time it happened and right now he just wanted Morgan to be with him with no distractions. Twinges of guilt ricocheted through him. "Am I being unfaithful?"

"Pretty boy, hurry it up. I don't got all night." He turned off his phone placing it in the drawer. Out of sight.

The silence in the cab was deafening. Morgan relaxed at the other end eyes closed head leaning back on the seat. Reid was a resentful mess. Why was he so comfortable? I'm a wreck. His pores set up a sweaty challenge that he only hoped his deodorant could match. A dark hand gripped his lap stilling the incessant tapping of his Converse on the vehicle floor. Its warmth traveled up his thigh tickling his groin, cupping his balls. In the dim interior their lips met seeking, feeding. Sharp teeth bit down on his bottom lip teasing it, drawing it into a hot dark cavern. Reid's head swam. He swallowed his moans; the cab driver stared without shame.

Morgan pulled away and signaled. "Here."

Reid tumbled out of the car shielding himself best he could. "Where are we?" The dark agent settled their bill chuckling when he faced him.

"Trust me."

His hand was taken and he was led down a dark alley to an unmarked black door. The three sharp knocks that followed were like something out of a bad movie. They made him uneasy. When a peephole opened at which Morgan flashed a card he got more curious than scared. The cloak and dagger routine held a certain appeal like he was on a spy mission or something.

When the door swung wide open to let them in, it revealed a huge bear of a man just inside the threshold. He cleared them grinning wryly at Morgan. "Couldn't stay away, could you?"

"This time I brought a friend." Morgan smiled back doing the weird one armed chest bump that Reid could never pull off. "Dr. Spencer Reid. Nico. He owns this fine establishment."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Doctor Reid." Nico (no last name?) nodded at him then addressed Morgan. "I set everything up especially for you. Enjoy."

"Thanks man."

Reid stumbled wide eyed as Morgan dragged him in his wake. The hall led to a wide open room with low music thrumming, strobe lights flashing. Half naked women plied their trade amongst the gaming tables. Their glittery bodies barely contained by sequined scraps. Black cages hung from the low ceiling in which gorgeous women and men of all races swayed to the beat grinding up and down simulating coitus. He tried to see everything but Morgan was focused on getting them to the end of the room.

"Was that the mayor?" He whispered hoarsely.

"Keep your head down." Morgan growled at him tucking his card into a hidden slot and hurrying into the room beyond. Another tastefully decorated hallway lined with evenly spaced doors lay beyond that. The occasional moans and whimpers escaped their tightly closed sentries. He blushed, vividly aware of what was going on beyond them.

"Is this a house of ill repute?"

"Ill repute? You are delightful." Morgan laughed picking up the pace. "Relax pretty boy it's all perfectly legal. Nico has friends in high places. They like to sin in private, hence this place."

"What are _**we**_ doing here?" Reid persisted. He found it hard to keep going without receiving all the facts.

"I'm running an experiment." Morgan stopped crowding up against him pressing him into the wall. "Confirming a theory…testing the waters. You should be proud of me."

Reid pushed his fear down. Morgan wouldn't hurt him. "W-W-What kind of experiment?"

"Whether you are strictly a burrito guy or if sometimes a taco will do." A dark whisper ghosted over his ear. "I wouldn't be a good teacher if I didn't help you figure it out." It was to his credit that he immediately understood that Morgan wanted to confirm his sexuality. Burrito referred to male genitalia and the taco to female. Why it mattered he had no idea.

"And here's one of your learning aids. This is Leilani." Morgan stepped aside to reveal a tall statuesque woman with heavy lidded green eyes that he stared resolutely into though he was drawn to the large breasts that strained the confines of her bejeweled bra. "I know how much you like blonds."

There suddenly wasn't enough air in the world. What was he doing? He tried to stave off the impending panic attack. "Reid?" Morgan held his gaze. "Imma be with you the entire time. If you wanna stop you say the word and we're out of here. Okay?"

Reid nodded. Just like that he stabled. The 'sinning' was still a cause for concern but he'd asked to learn. Nothing left to do but follow.

The room was beautiful. Red plush reclining sofas, soft lighting, buckets of champagne and trays of food were laid out strategically. In the midst of this decadence three topless women swung up and down poles which were bolted to the floor gleaming gold. Flashes of bare soft looking skin, plump breasts and hard nipples held him in thrall. Morgan wrapped his arms around him from behind pulling him into the hard chest. "Do you like…"

Reid swallowed the lump that refused to budge. "Yes." He croaked. His throat was so dry. He sank into the sofa snuggled between Morgan's spread legs resting back against his hard chest. The spectacle of excess, the anticipation of being served and possibly serviced had him almost spewing his load.

"Easy, genius." Morgan gentled him when one of the girls worked her way over. "You don't want to miss your first lap dance."

Reid's tie was tugged off, shirt unbuttoned. One by one the girls worked their magic till he was floating in a fog of want. Morgan held onto his hands, tonguing his neck. He wasn't allowed to touch. It was the sweetest torture and he was so thankful he'd masturbated before he left home. Otherwise this show would have been long over by now.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" Morgan dragged his head back taking his mouth in a long hard kiss. "I'll let you cum."

"Let's do it here." He whined.

"Sorry babe, there's no sex in the champagne room. Now pick one." He was directed back to the gyrating dancers.

What was the protocol for this? Reid panted in delirium. Was this a test?

"Leilani it is." Morgan read him easily. "You haven't been able to take your eyes off her all night."

**Thanks for all your tips about what to do about FF's new policy. I've saved the story onto my computer while I try to find a site that will work for me. If it gets deleted I will let you know where in my bio (They delete only the story and not the account right?)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews everybody that is still following the story. Your responses are at the end of this chapter. **

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 5**

Morgan carried Reid into the dimly lit upstairs bedroom and tossed him down onto the king-sized bed. He stripped him slowly dazed brown eyes following every move he made. Balancing on top of him, he brushed the hair out of his face and kissed him. Their tongues tangling in wet heat. "Are you good?"

Beyond speech at this point Reid merely nodded. Morgan rolled off of him, stretched his strong arms behind his head, and lay back to enjoy the  
show.

When Leilani strutted in, hips swaying, Reid's breath caught. Her soft curvy body glittered with every step. Red tassels swinging from her firm high breasts. A low exotic sound filled the room as she began to dance. He could feel Morgan next to him, craved his touch but wasn't sure how to ask. This was not something he'd prepared for. A scarlet tassel flew through the air hitting him in the chest. She was stripping. Oh God! He needed to think. A jeweled thong hit him in the face. He peeped at her. OhGod OhGodOhGod! She stood before them naked, perfect and different. Now he needed to breathe.

"M-M-Morgan?"

"Relax kid, I'm right here."

She was crawling on the bed towards them. When she reached out and grasped his cock stroking it ever so slowly. He moaned with mindless abandon. She flicked her tongue out and lapped at his swollen member which was already leaking on his abdomen. Then throwing caution aside he cried out loudly when she opened her mouth wide and took all of him beginning to suck on his rigid pole.

"Morgan…Derek" Reid reached for him. "Please ple- arrgh…" He moaned when Leilani swallowed him to the root again. Morgan's hot mouth took his.

It was exciting to see Reid unravel pale body twisting on the bed as gold tresses bobbed up and down in the genius' lap. Morgan watched him impassively. He was aware of his distant simmering rage. _Is that what he'd look like writhing wanton beneath his boyfriend?_

Reid wouldn't stop calling for him.

When she straddled him, making quick work of the condom and sinking down on the flushed cock he knew what Reid must be feeling. As Leilani's hips started to move slowly, the tight wet hot glove working him to fever pitch. Reid came undone. Those pale nimble fingers stroked the flat belly; cupped heart shaped cheeks, plucked and caught the bouncing heavy globes, pink mouth suckling at swollen nipples. Reid dissolved into heavy gasps; head tossed back as she rode harder and faster.

Hearing Morgan's encouragement, he kept on fucking her. Working in and out, faster and faster as he felt himself starting to boil over. He looked down and watched as he went all the way in and out, listened to the distinct sound of slapping as she tightened around him. Her body tensed and she arched her back. Reid exploded squirting deep into the clenching tunnel, hand gripping Morgan's.

Reid was shaking all the way home, mind in turmoil. He was so overwhelmed by what had just happened. It was so far the most scarily erotic experience of his entire life. Having Morgan there had been unbelievable. The cab sped silently on the rain slick streets, the world outside a blur. He was faced with so many unknown variables. His plan had been simple. Get some sexual experience, be with Alex. Being set adrift in this crazy sea of emotion was too much for him to deal with.

"Stop" Morgan took hand anchoring him. Warm lips kissed his forehead as he was tucked firmly into his side. "You're over thinking it."

Morgan maneuvered Reid to his queen size bed pulling the covers over him. He was a little worried. Reid hadn't spoken since they'd left Nico's. He looked tuckered out a tiny curled up lump clinging to the edge of his bed. After the night he'd had he was probably exhausted. A night he'd engineered with great malice. What right did he have to despoil a virgin?

_What the fuck I'm I doing?_ Morgan stood in the tiny blue bathroom and washed his face. He could barely look himself in the mirror. You _want him for yourself. The least you can do is man up and admit it._ He needed to go home, be with Clooney and wait for his world to get back to normal.

Arousal overshadowed his self disgust and he quickly jerked off recalling the sick voyeuristic pleasure he got from watching Reid. Shame rode him the whole way. He cleaned up quickly hopefully Reid was asleep and hadn't heard him. When he came out of the bathroom he shut the door behind him making as little noise as possible. The genius needed his sleep.

"Morgan?"

Goddammit! "Yeah?" He turned to find Reid's clear brown eyes locked on him.

"Why?"

"Why what?" He reluctantly made his way to the bed and sat down while Reid raised himself up resting his back on the fluffy pillows. Bright colored blobs caught his attention. Reid was the only guy over twelve he knew that still wore spaceship pajamas. He looked so fucking young.

"What was this whole night about? Don't get me wrong it was amazing but ultimately unnecessary."

Morgan rested his head in his palms. Elbows dug into his knees. This isn't a conversation he wanted to have but they'd already crossed so many lines. Maybe it was time to end it before he got in too deep. He was circling the drain as it was.

"Morgan?"

He hadn't paused to examine his motives before the night began. Sure he'd had a dozen bullshit reasons but they collapsed into nothing. In that moment it all crystallized into one terrifying realization. "If you were mine I'd want to be sure."

Reid shifted turning to face him, brow furrowed in confusion. "Sure about what?"

"If we were together I'd want to be sure that you were in it for the long haul. I wouldn't want you to wake up five…ten years down the road wondering what you'd missed out on." Morgan rested his chin in his palm and just took in the sight before him. Even with brown tufts pointed to the ceiling he was still gorgeous. "If maybe what you really wanted was to be with a woman and now _**you**_ can make an informed decision to be with your boyfriend. No regrets."

Reid stared back at him the silence stretching out unnaturally. "It was good but I don't want to repeat it. I know what I want. No regrets."

Alex. He wants his boyfriend. That lucky bastard.

"Stay with me." Reid whispered teeth chattering. "I don't want to be alone."

He wanted to object but when it came to the skinny genius he had no willpower. "Scoot" He stripped down to his boxers while Reid made room for him.

Reid sighed when Morgan pulled him into his arms spooning him. They shared one pillow. He'd never been so content.

"Goodnight Angel."

**Review responses**

**Marinelvr84 – I **have never had sex in a champagne room I also think it is hot. I should add it to my bucket list.

**Nannily – **Thanks for the link. I'm checking it out.

**Alienfreya – **Welcome and thank you for your very passionate reviews.

**Loveforpenandderek – **Thanks for clearing up the infraction thing.

**Cacamilis – **I'm not going to go too far with Reid's bisexuality as you'll realize in this chapter. This is mostly because I don't want the focus of the story to change entirely. I had a week off work so I have been able to write a lot faster than I usually do.

**Anon – **Thank you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews; **

**Cacamilis, Jenny crum, LoveforPenandDerek, Pinkygirl123, Bella-chan16, Antigone21, Marinelvr84, Nannily, Rain and Storm and Velandrae.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 6**

They jetted home from their latest case, which had once again, led them to small town America. A tiny thriving community that hugged the edge of Utah that had good salt of the earth folk who looked out for their neighbors and yet in the midst of that deceptive tranquility a serial rapist had burrowed deep preying on the good folk like an overblown louse. It had taken a little over four days to bring down the unsub, a seventeen year old high school dropout who felt compelled to rape to assuage his boredom.

Reid glanced out the window at the rushing clouds as the evening sun sent orange emissaries to bounce against the puffy forms. But even the spectacle of light and vapor couldn't hold his attention his gaze irrevocably drawn back to the older agent. Morgan was sprawled in the seat across from him, eyes closed, earphones blaring like they always did on their flights back home. He rubbed his shoulder wincing in pain and Reid ached to settle in his lap and ease him in any way he could.

Morgan shifted as if he could feel the lascivious thoughts, the apex of his spread thighs intensified the throbbing in the young genius' pants and he sprung up heading to the bathroom. He didn't need Morgan to wake up and catch him gawking. Reid took his time running cold water over his wrists and rearranging the towels, ever so grateful that a private jet had a more spacious bathroom than one on a commercial flight.

The sudden rapping on the door was insistent and Reid was afraid it would wake up the rest of the team who were passed out in various positions in the FBI jet. He flipped open the lock leaning against the sink as if every molecule in him would be lost if Morgan brushed up against him. "I just needed to stop thinking." He reassured. "I'm okay." '_Mostly_' he added to himself.

"You don't seem okay." The older agent countered.

Reid turned bracing his hands on the salmon wallpaper. "You want to help me? How about you wear looser clothing?" He snapped. "That t-shirt is cutting into your arms probably slowing the flow of blood to your brain."

"Pretty boy, are you feeling alright?" The smug smile Morgan could barely conceal burned him. Why was he the only one struggling? Maybe because he got up from what he thought was a new chapter in their lives to find Morgan gone from his bed. No note. Nothing.

Reid spun back around. "Do NOT use the crazy voice."

"What?"

"Yeah it's the same tone you use to talk an unsub off a metaphorical ledge."

"Baby, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. What can I do?"

"Nothing." He shrieked hysterical when the larger man took a step forward. "Do not touch me."

Morgan ignored him and closed his arms around Reid to hold him in place. "I got you."

Reid was in great distress. "I don't like feeling like this all the time."

"Feeling like what?" Morgan straightened but started to run his hands over Reid's back, buttocks and thighs.

Too innocent to play games he blurted out exactly what had been spinning through his mind taunting him. "Like I can't breathe unless you are touching me."

Morgan grinned wickedly. He nudged Reid's nose with his and then kissed him slowly. Reid kissed him back soft and tantalizing, begging for Morgan to come and get more. He gave a low moan as he arched his back, twining his hands around his neck, pressing closer.

"You want me." Arrogant lips curved into a smile against his. "I can give you whatever you need." Morgan unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down to his hips, freeing his flushed rearing dick for a rougher handling. Reid thrust his hips, driving his cock through Morgan's tight fist.

Reid panted. "It doesn't feel as good when I - when I do It." he stammered.

"When you touch yourself?"

He nodded ashamed to admit it. Since Morgan his hands hadn't been enough, they were too soft, too gentle. He needed harder, firmer, rougher.

Morgan took his mouth again. "I think about you too," He growled. "Open, desperate to receive me."

Reid shuddered and turned around. He dropped his head, gripping the sink hard, vision blurring. He should have felt humiliated, indignant, quick to preserve his own dignity but he could only spread his legs wider, plump cheeks in the air. Touch me, take me, they whispered.

"I think about you bent over in the briefing room, everybody watching me turn you into the little slut we both know you are." Morgan's words pummeled him. The throbbing in his cock picked up tempo. "Will you beg for me with that dirty little mouth? Beg me not to stop."

"Don't stop."

Morgan's big hand wrapped around his neck and squeezed hard until he looked up. Their eyes clashed in the mirror. He looked like a dark god behind him demanding obedience and carnal penance.

Reid tilted his chin exposing his neck for Morgan's white teeth; he closed his eyes, moaning wantonly. Morgan snaked his finger between firm ass cheeks to tease the spot hidden from view. The tight clench teasing him. He ached to bury inside him so deep he'd never make his way out.

With the tip of his tormenting finger, he slipped into Reid's hole, curled the end digit and popped the tight ring of muscle, repeatedly.

"Please," Spencer whispered.

"Please, who?"

"Please, Derek, please let me come," He pleaded.

"You're mine, aren't you baby? Tell me."

"I'm yours."

"You feel so fucking good.." Morgan held himself back from ploughing in and taking him, when he finally did he wanted to take his time. "You will let me take you whenever I want."

"Yes"

Morgan grabbed on to Reid's hips and yanked his body in tightly; he ground his rock hard cock into his crack. The big head caught on the tiny hole as he leaked pre cum coating him in his seed.

Reid shot to his tiptoes, grinding back Morgan smothered his screams as acute, perfect pleasure triggered every nerve ending in his shaft. He moaned when Morgan held him steady working against his marble cheeks harder faster.

The sweet smell of his angel's cum pushed him over the edge. He gripped his thighs hard leaving angry red marks and bit down the faint tang of blood filling his mouth as he painted Reid's back with streaks of his own release.

_**Hopefully, I kept this short and sweet.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks for your reviews; **

**Cacamilis, Jenny crum, LoveforPenandDerek, Marinelvr84, Nannily, and Terni.**

**I have rewritten the last chapter. It was kind of sketchy and disrupted the flow of the story. I was in a hurry to post it then I had a date that I was already late for because my clients are inconsiderate jerks so my head was all over the place. I am so sorry.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 7**

Morgan cleaned his lover up again wiping the damp white towel across his creamy back. Other than flinching slightly from the cold Reid was silent still bent over clutching the porcelain like his life depended on it. He tossed the towel into the garbage chute and redressed him slowly. "Baby?"

"Hmmm"

"We gotta go the plane will be landing soon."

Reid barely responded. _Did I break him? _Morgan leaned over him and pressed his chest to the taut back. He brushed feather light kisses along the shell of a pink ear, chuckling when Reid arched his spine and began to rub sensuously against him. He was like a cat begging for affection, so sweetly submissive and it pleased Morgan to no end.

The mild rap at the door shook them both and he could feel the panic well up in Reid. He squeezed him reassuringly before letting go. "Sit your pretty little ass down and I will take care of it."

Morgan edged out the door shielding Reid, completely unsurprised to find Hotch at the other end. "What's up?" He dripped bravado.

"What's up? Are you kidding me?" Hotch whispered furiously. "We talked about this."

"What the fuck man? We are not at work!"

"You are in the FBI jet on the way back from assignment surrounded by your team. THIS COUNTS AS WORK."

"Why do you keep interfering?" For the life of him, Morgan couldn't figure that part out.

Hotch just shook his head. "When you decide you really want to know, come find me and we'll have a drink and talk. Now get Reid out of that bathroom and into his seat before everyone wakes up."

Reid shuffled back as Morgan came back in. "HOTCH KNOWS!" He shrieked.

"Were you pressed up against the door?"

"This is not the Fortress of Solitude. I could hear you." Reid's stricken expression was gut wrenching. "Are we going to get fired?" At the new thought he began to gasp for breath his face reddened, a thick scary vein popping in his forehead.

Morgan forced him to the commode and shoved his head between his bony knees. "Breathe," He ordered rubbing his back until Reid calmed. "You are not going to lose your job."

"Are you sure?"

Morgan kissed the upturned lips gently. "I'm sure. Stop worrying and get back to your seat."

"Wait" Reid grabbed his wrist when he made to get up. Blunt nails dug into his flesh. "I'm sorry. I broke rule number one. Nobody is supposed to know."

"Baby, I came in of my own accord. I'm in this as much as you are."

"You're not goi – I thought you'd be angry."

"We are ok." Morgan opened the door for him. "Now go before Hotch comes back."

The fasten seatbelt sign dinged the moment they got to their seats. There was no time for conversation with the team wakening and preparing to land. Their eyes collided from time to time questioning, wondering and hoping for things Morgan wasn't prepared for. He put his earphones on and turned the music up loud. He didn't want to think. He wasn't ready.

xxXxx

Morgan took the next two days off. Until he was called in for a new case he alternated between yelling at the recruits at the Training Center and replacing shingles on one of his houses. Clooney made an able companion especially since he could retrieve a beer on command. The neighborhood was real friendly; women of all ages brought him dinner and drinks. They made their offers with hot eyes, flipping hair and swaying hips. His life was good. He didn't need anybody else.

When Garcia's special ringtone went off late Friday evening he felt settled, more like himself. "Sup, baby girl."

"Why don't you check your messages?" She screamed at him.

Hours later he would be unable to recall exactly how he got to the hospital without killing himself or his dog. The words 'Reid' and 'accident' fused into fear so great all he could do was move. The drunken ass that rammed Reid's crappy bucket of a car that had stalled at the side of the road – again – was irrelevant. Instinct led him where he needed to go.

Garcia stood up when he came racing down the hall. "Where is he?"

"Hold your horses, hot stuff. He's not alone."

Morgan barely heard Garcia as he burst through the white door she'd pointed at. The handle slammed against the wall dislodging a piece of plaster that crashed to the floor. He startled Reid who sat on the trolley bed his face so white it complemented the room, dry lips formed Morgan's name but no sound came out.

"Pretty boy" He strode towards him taking in the big wet brown eyes, the buzzing in his ears increased at the purple edged bruises that littered the exposed thin chest. Reid shivered leaning into his touch when he gently traced the edges of his ribs. "I – I should have been there."

Reid finally stammered out. "I'm sor-ry." The tensing of his body, mottled skin literally shrinking from Morgan's hands coupled with the throat clearing behind him was enough to let him know who was in the room with them. There must have been times in his life that were harder than this one, certainly more painful but he'd never felt as betrayed as he did with Reid's eyes boring into his, pleading for silence.

Morgan turned around to face the other guy – the boyfriend. He had shiny black hair, blue eyes and a genuine smile. Even the pretentious tweed blazer with the elbow patches couldn't take away from what he obviously was; a nice guy. _Dammit!_ Unable to find fault with him he turned his rage back to Reid where it belonged. He fought the urge to wring the skinny little neck so he smiled back and took the proffered hand falling back into his role as best friend.

"You must be Agent Morgan it's so good to meet you. I'm Alexander Roth."

"Derek, please. Reid talks about you all the time."

The slightly shorter man glowed with pleasure. His blue eyes flicked towards Reid. "He does?"

Morgan shifted uncomfortable in his skin, violent urges nipping at his heels. He made his excuses before the googly eyes made him sick and left the room faster than he'd arrived almost trampling Garcia in the process. She beamed at him. He knew that naughty smile. "You called him."

"Yup!" She raised her hand for a high five.

"We barely know this guy and how the hell did he get here so fast?"

Garcia chased him down the hall electric blue heels clacking on the linoleum. "I checked him out. Alexander Roth, 34, Architect. Parents are living out their retirement in Catalina. He inherited his dad's architectural firm. His sister quit a high paying job as a lawyer and is now growing her own food at an ashram in India. He dates quite a bit but he's definitely not a player like somebody I could mention…" she skidded to a halt by the elevator where Morgan was stabbing the down button. "He's perfectly normal. No red flags of any kind. I wouldn't have called him otherwise. Luckily he'd flown in early to surprise Reid, can you believe it? It's like something out of a freaking movie. Fate, kismet, serendipity."

"Morgan?" He stood stony faced besides her. "What's going on?"

He ignored her continuing to punish the button until the doors whooshed open revealing Hotch who took one look at Morgan's expression and immediately assumed the worst.

"How is Reid?"

"Reid's never been better." Morgan snapped. "But I could really use that drink."

Hotch stepped back letting him in. The steel doors slid shut leaving a baffled Garcia behind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**OMG you guys are the best reviewers ever! I apologize for thinking you only showed up for the smut, which will be back. Just needed to expand the storyline so that this doesn't end up as PWP.**

**Jenny crum, LoveforPenandDerek, Marinelvr84, Nannily, Yugiyamisex4eva, Kisama-sama, Irishgirl9, Terni and Fantomax27.**

**My newest reviewers; Legaldramafan, Herky Illiniwek, Reid's Fangirl 3 and DemonzUnleashed. Thank you soooo much!**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 8**

"You look a little green." Reid let Alex help him lie down on the cool sheet. The slightest movement sent pain streaking to every corner of his banged up body and still he didn't know what felt worse his head, chest or the look Morgan had given him before he stormed out.

His eyes darted to and from Alex he couldn't believe he had dropped everything and shown up. It was flattering the concern he showed but every kind word and gentle touch made Reid feel more awful. He hadn't even flinched when he found out about the dilaudid just argued with the doctor about different pain management options.

Reid could see him sitting ramrod straight in an abandoned wheel chair, head bent forward as he filled out the insurance forms. Between questioning Reid about his details he chewed on the pen cap, foot tapping furiously.

Reid cleared his throat and he looked up. "You didn't have to come."

His blue eyes softened with concern. "I wanted to." He looked down again clipping and unclipping the papers. "I sort of took over, didn't I? Busywork keeps the worry at bay. But I understand if you want your friends to deal with this?"

"No - its nice." Reid closed his eyes and realized it really was nice. It'd been so long since anybody took care of him it felt good to just lie back without feeling obligated to contribute.

His mind however had other plans and it went where it always did when he had a moment to himself. Morgan. Morgan. Morgan. When he left work hours before he'd been hoping to end up in Morgan's bed. He hadn't seen him in days and the intense craving had taken precedence over caution. All his lust morphed into disappointment when Morgan wasn't home and instead of continuing to his apartment he'd pulled over to try and reach him on his cell. Before he could dig his phone out of his messenger bag a pair of lights had blinded him then cast him into complete darkness.

By the time he came to he was being wheeled into Starke Memorial. Between rapid-fire questions from the doctors and police it had been easier to claim his car had stalled. The cops regarded him with suspicion but left after he'd refused to press charges promising to come back later for a full statement.

Morgan was the real reason he was lying in a hospital bed on a Friday night as the man he'd originally wanted hovered by his side catering to every need. It was beyond ironic. It was a fitting punishment for his treachery.

JJ and Will stopped by the next day with Henry who took forever showing him a magic trick he'd learned. It was cute but excruciating since his small hands kept dropping the coin. Hotch, Prentiss, Rossi and Garcia brought flowers, told jokes and gave less than subtle signs that they approved of his choice in men. A lifetime ago that would have been all he wanted now he watched the door like a hawk. Too busy keeping vigil to properly eat or sleep but the cups of strawberry jello he insisted on ordering remained uneaten. Alex was with him every day from his hospital stay to his tiny apartment. Morgan never showed.

On the cab ride into work ten days later Reid rehearsed his speech. Every word had been chosen with great care and practiced over and over in the mirror. He schooled his expressions until they felt natural, blasé even. With relief he saw the side door was open as he tore through the parking lot keeping a careful eye out for his team. Until he and Morgan had spoken he didn't want to deal with anyone else. _Do not use an accusatory tone, do not yell…or cry;_ he reminded himself every time he stopped to catch his breath. _Do not melt in his arms like you usually do. You are pissed. You will not be ignored._ Reid finally reached his destination. He paused outside Morgan's office ran through his affirmations – god how low he'd sunk – then flung the door open.

Reid only caught a glimpse of the bare back and crisscrossing bra straps before the body screamed. It was definitely a memorable first day back. After he cleared everything up with Agent Samantha King – call me Sam - no explanation for what she was doing in Morgan's office. He burst in on Hotch.

Ten days of speeches, affirmations and plans wasted, he simply croaked "Morgan" _Was that pity he saw in his eyes?_

"Miami PD requested his expertise on a gang related crime spree."

He wondered how soon Morgan had made the decision to leave. This week while Reid was hurt and he couldn't be bothered to visit. Maybe before that when his hands were on Reid like they belonged together. Did it even matter? After all Miami equaled Detective Tina Lopez. It was ridiculous to think he could compare.

"Sam will be filling in for him on our latest case. It's in the next county. Are you cleared to travel?"

Reid quickly nodded and stumbled out. He's gone.

He felt so stupid even if the world consisted of infinite universes in none of them would Morgan ever want to be with him. Right then his phone buzzed with a text message from Alex – just checking up on you - he smiled sadly at least somebody did. It was time to move forward he thought as he called him back.

Their date two days later was the first time in awhile Reid had really laughed. He'd been nervous when Alex refused to tell him where they were going. Their previous dates had been at fancy restaurants and one wine tasting but he had given Reid time to study up enough to seem like he cared about the same things. He had no idea how to fake interest in sports or bars or beer…the list was endless.

When Alex pulled up outside the city's Science Museum he couldn't stop the grin that pulled at his mouth. "How did you know?" He asked.

"I have been inside your house. It's geek central." Alex took his hand over the console. "You're different from other guys I've dated. I think it's great that you have such vast interests."

"The guys you usually date are interested in…."

"Money… tanning salons…the Kardashians…"

"I don't know what that last thing is."

"Thank you for that." He brought Reid's hand to his lips for a quick kiss. "I could so easily love you"

Hours later streetlights cast Alex's face into light and shadow with every turn as he drove him home. Reid's head lolled back on the headrest. He was pleasantly exhausted. Building a space station with KNEX blocks had been a lot of fun, Alex's architectural experience invaluable. They'd attracted a lot of attention from kids, which gave him a chance to show off his magic tricks to much shrieking and laughter. When Alex had smiled and offered to be his assistant, Reid relaxed for the first time since they'd met.

"You are different than I remember." Reid said when they pulled to a stop outside his building.

"My sister has this theory that every person we meet changes us in some way. Don't get me wrong she's off her rocker. At least I thought she was before I met you."

Reid was glad for the dark interior that hid his blush. He didn't back away from the first kiss or the one after that. The tiny flicker of 'Morgan' that floated through him was quickly snuffed out.

**I had to break this chapter up cos it was too long but no worries the next one will be up soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**My favorite and most consistent reviewers;**

**Jenny crum, Nannily, Irishgirl9, Marinelvr84, Cacamilis and LoveforPenandDerek.**

**Brandy & Anony – Thank you and welcome. Its always so nice to get new reviewers that are obviously enjoying the story so much.**

**More Than Gold – There are no words to express my gratitude for your amazing words. I'm so glad I inspired you to write. Please do. It is worth it just to one day get a review like yours. Thank you.**

**AN: Yes, Alex is a good guy. You didn't see that coming, did ya? (I need to work on my evil laugh and my smack talk – it's not great!) I think Morgan needs some real competition from a guy who isn't a murderous psychopath.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 9**

Days at the BAU in-between cases were incredibly boring. Reid watched the clock as each second stretched to the very limit as if taunting him. It was pure torture. He'd done all his paperwork then JJ's and Emily's. The only bright spot was the occasional bleep of his phone. Alex was stuck in meetings all day just as bored as he was. They'd made plans to meet up at Morrison's with the rest of the team, which was one of the reasons, Reid was so anxious. He wanted to tell him that he was ready for more – maybe.

They'd been going out for a while but hadn't progressed much beyond kissing. Alex had been incredibly patient with him backing up every time Reid tensed up. When they did make out it was nice but did not elicit the intense reactions he was used to. Morgan's touches were the only time his brain actually shut off and focused on pleasure. Morgan was the only person he could talk to about it and he was somewhere in Miami probably drowning in women not giving Reid a second thought.

Speculating about Morgan always unsettled him. This time was no different and he got up to get some coffee hoping the potent brew would distract him from a naked Derek Morgan touching somebody that wasn't him. Reid took the long way round when he saw Sam coming she was nice enough but she talked a lot, touched him a lot too. Subtle grazes on his shoulder and arm were a frequent occurrence. He didn't want to come right out and say he wasn't interested. It seemed presumptuous and arrogant especially since she had not said anything outright.

The elevator dinged and opened when Reid came strolling down the hall, cup in hand. Morgan? He shook his head to clear it but when he looked up again Morgan stood there with an enigmatic smile just looking back at him as the doors closed behind him. He froze.

It wasn't till Garcia shoved him aside and flew into Morgan's arms that he realized it wasn't a dream. To be fair Reid thought about him far too often. He replayed all their encounters every chance he got and even once chased down a tall bald black man down the street before he realized he wasn't the one he sought. He wanted to run not yet sure which direction he'd go but his legs refused to cooperate.

Prentiss bumped his right shoulder tossing him out of range of the riptide as more agents converged on the elevator congratulating the conquering hero, eager to bask in his reflected glory. Reid had avoided listening to Morgan's exploits leaving the room every time his name came up. Now he was flooded with information; two drug cartels funded by warring diplomats were taken down, an international incident avoided. Reid should have been impressed. Proud even. But Morgan had left him behind not called or written in 53 days, 7 hours and 32 minutes including the ten days Reid had pined for him. It was reason enough to turn his back and walk away but he couldn't.

Garcia was a force to be reckoned with and she herded them all to the bar holding on tight to Morgan demanding to hear everything. She had shot down all of Reid's halfhearted excuses; only Hotch and Rossi had come up with valid reasons to escape her machinations. Reid trailed two steps behind them as they were led to their usual table he wondered if this' what people meant by 'magnetic attraction'. Being unable to move, powerless against this man that owned him. Morgan looked tired beat up as he rubbed at a brand new scar that snaked down the side of his neck and disappeared into the back of his shirt.

As soon as they got to the table the girls disappeared to the bathroom, going all together in that weird way women always did. Reid took his chance and slipped into the seat next to Morgan. Words crowded his brain eager to shoot out his mouth but he held back. None of them sounded right.

Agitated Reid shifted his chair again closing the gap between them. Their thighs brushed before pressing together. If he got any closer they'd merge into one messed up human being. His fingers smoothed out the folds in the cotton tablecloth it felt good to take a breath without worry as a constant companion. Morgan sat unaffected next to him. Occasionally he glanced at the back like he was wondering whether the girls would get back in time to save him.

"You left." At the last second Reid bit back the 'me' it was too needy even for him.

"Are you happy?" Morgan asked instead.

"I –" Their eyes met. Reid could feel the quaking start deep inside. He looked away blinking rapidly to clear the growing moisture. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Morgan's laugh was dark and brittle as he rose from his seat. He gestured towards the entrance. "Well, here comes your man you two should go work on being 'happier'."

Reid dodged Alex's greeting the soft lips landing on his cheek instead. Over the bobbing heads he saw Morgan disappearing out the back door. He quickly mumbled an excuse and went after him determined to get some answers. He found Morgan at the far end of the alley pacing like a caged animal.

"What do you want?" Morgan growled.

Reid cowardly fell to the safe answer. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Go back inside Reid. There's only one reason you'd be skulking in alleys with me."

"I thought we were…"

"What? Friends? Lovers? You got everything you wanted. Why are you out here?"

"I didn't get – everything." At those drawn out words Morgan gave him a dirty smile stalking him until Reid pressed shivering against the filthy wall.

"You want me to fuck you? Is that it?" The back of Morgan's fingers trailed up his neck. "If I say no will you beg?"

Need surged through Reid nerve endings sparking at their base and elemental connection. He licked his lips nodding when words refused to come almost weeping with gratitude when Morgan ripped off his tie. He let out a wail of dismay when big hands yanked his behind his back the black material looped rapidly around his bony wrists.

Slight numbing began to spread through his hands as the silk tie cut off the blood supply to his extremities. He struggled to free himself itching to touch the dark skin.

"No" Morgan ground out as he gripped Reid's hair and roughly pulled his head back. A big thumb traced the line of Reid's lush pink lips. "You don't get to touch me."

Reid's ribs rose and fell fast and fearful. The rough wall behind him dug painfully into his elbows and backside but nothing could shift his focus from the man who was slowly unbuttoning his shirt. "Kiss me." He whimpered as Morgan hovered oh so close.

Hot lips slashed over his, plundering his mouth. Reid moaned and jerked as branding touches raced over his pale skin. Morgan was rough and it hurt so so good. Every scrape of nails and teeth sent him spiraling down a rabbit hole of desire.

Hands tore at the buttons of his pants the grip on his cock was hard not quite painful. Reid thrust forward balancing desperately on the wall by the tips of his numb fingers. More. He had to have more. He trembled, rhythmically churning his hips. Calloused fingers worked around his swollen head in a twisting motion, sharp teeth buried in his neck. His heart thundered in his chest, fire racing through his veins as Morgan pulled him apart then put him back together.

Reid sobbed as he came, head thrown back, pleasure exploding in his center. Only Morgan could make him feel like this. Like they were the only two people in the world. He would chase that feeling to the end of time satisfying every urge. Nothing and no one else mattered. He was an addict who'd found his next drug.

He rubbed at his shaky tingly hands when Morgan released him.

"Clean up before you go back inside." A quick kiss brushed his forehead and he was gone.

**Can anyone please get me an Archive of our Own invite? Just in case.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**My awesome awesome reviewers;**

**Jenny crum, Nannily, Marinelvr84, Cacamilis, More Than Gold, Combatcrazy, Brandy and LoveforPenandDerek.**

**Maryhell – Thanks for the recommendation. I'm still trying to figure TWCS out. I really like the fact that they are recognized publishers. Any tips you may have will be a big help**

**Becks Gb – Wow! Thank you so much. **

**Guest – Whoever you are thank you. I'm glad you get it. I was going for 'raw and primal' I hope you are writing as well you really have the flair for it. It is terrible of me but I love that you were so 'fangirly' – more please.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 10**

He was a mess. Reid tried to straighten out his tie but the wrinkles wouldn't come out. His shirt was smudged, he'd lost a button and he couldn't stop shaking. The darkness pressed in on him sending panic skittering through him. Dull pain throbbed at his throat and he examined it discovering that Morgan had broken skin as evidenced by the bloody stains. He felt marked, claimed by him.

He leaned back against the wall. Mind scattered in a million directions. Slamming his palm on his forehead didn't solve his immediate problem. He couldn't go back inside. Reid was clueless but not that clueless. You don't go back to the man you are dating looking like he was. Ravaged, bleeding and completely satisfied. Think. Phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and dialed.

"Reid? Where the hell are you?" JJ yelled. He could hear the thumping bass of the music in the background.

"I had to go home, stomach bug or something? Can you tell Alex I'm sorry?" Reid hated lying to her but it had to be done. Besides he'd never betray Morgan's trust by outing him like that.

JJ must have found a quieter spot because she lowered her voice. "Why didn't you call him?" Oh oh she wasn't drunk yet.

"It's embarrassing." He improvised. "He'd want to take care of me but it's too soon for him to see me at my worst."

"Don't want boyfie to see you shooting out both ends? I get it." Her throaty laugh trickled down the line. "If he witnesses all that and still comes back for more, you know he's a keeper"

"Just tell him ok. I've gotta go. Thank you." He quickly hang up on her before she got more graphic.

Reid jumped when a trash bag fell over coupled with vicious gnawing. It was probably a rat or a raccoon. This wasn't the best place to decide what to do about Morgan who'd left him. Again.

Reid spent the night tossing and turning. When the sun crept up over the horizon he was exhausted. He stumbled into his kitchen seeking comfort. Coffee. Coffee would help. He hated Sunday anyway. It was a Family day that was not kind to people with no families. Maybe someday soon that would change. From where he was standing things were certainly looking up.

The knock at his door at that very moment was a sign. He didn't believe in stuff like that but rushed to answer it anyway.

"Morgan" He said high and breathless.

"Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Morgan peeped over his shoulder as if looking for someone.

"No. No." Reid couldn't emphasize that fast or hard enough. "I'm alone."

"Ok. Can we talk?"

Reid stepped back pulling open the door, possibly his heart. _Do not say that out loud._ He chastised himself. _Be normal._ "What are you doing here?"

"I see that Christine is back from the shop." Morgan deflected. "How long before she starts to hunger for more blood?"

"Ha ha! My car is not trying to kill me."

Reid led the way back to the kitchen, getting another cup out while Morgan cleared a pile of papers from a chair before settling in. Reid joined him at the tiny table passing over the milk and sugar. The act of producing the perfect cup of coffee took on the concentration of a bomb diffusion. Each action was controlled and deliberate. Unable to put it off any longer they faced each other like they had not too long ago but too much had happened. Lines had blurred beyond recognition. They were no longer the men they once were.

"I – uh" "Listen…" They spoke at the same time.

Reid smiled awkward. "You first."

"I've been thinking about our arrangement." Their eyes met and held again each of them shielding a desperate longing. Reid dropped his gaze first. He should keep talking before you fall at his feet and beg him to keep you.

"It's not working."

Wait! What? This is not happening. Reid bit down hard on his trembling lip to stop the tears, nails dug hard into clammy palms. He'd spent all night at war with himself. So scared that he was falling in love with his best friend, terrified that he wasn't. Now this!

Reid was aware that Morgan was still talking, laying out his defense. His lips were moving as he gestured with his big hands. He knew those hands, those lips. Intimately. Reid heard the only thing he cared about. "You don't want me."

"It's not that. I'm confused. Everything's gotten so complicated. You are my best friend. We are practically brothers."

"Brothers?" Reid shrieked. "You don't feel like my brother. Unless we are in the middle of some messed up incestuous affair."

"This is what I'm talking about." Morgan shot up, toppling the chair that slammed to the floor. "We don't feel like us anymore. Last night we went too far, doing that outside while he was inside waiting for you? It was filthy and sordid. Not in the fun kind of way. This is not the relationship I want us to have."

"That's it! Isn't it?" Comprehension hit Reid right between the eyes.

"What?"

"You don't want to be in a relationship with a man."

"I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone. It's one thing to fuck like minks simply because we can, that's how friends with benefits is supposed to work – all this emotion is too much!" Morgan picked up the chair and sat back down. He took the pale hands in his interlocking their fingers. "Reid, its not you."

"Except it is." Reid focused on their hands as well. Dark complemented light. This could not be the last time Morgan ever touched him like this so he laid it all on the line. "I would give him up in heartbeat if its what you wanted."

Morgan was silent for too long. "Don't"

"Get out!"

"Reid?"

"Just go!" He snapped. "I need…I want to be alone." The separation was like a physical pain. One digit after another detached from his, slowly ripping him apart.

Long after Morgan had gone slamming the door behind him, Reid sat, head resting on the scarred table. He begged for the numbness not to end because then it would be real, permanent. It would be over.

The ringing of his phone dragged him from the brink and he ran to answer it. Maybe Morgan had changed his mind. But because life was having too much fun kicking him in the face, his caller ID read Alex. Could this day get worse?

He debated not answering it but guilt was a powerful motivator. "Alex, hi." He hoped his voice didn't sound as raw as he felt.

"Hey, can we talk?"

Everything in Reid seized up. As he'd recently learned those particular words strung together in that order didn't mean good news. "Right now?"

"Yeah. I'm right outside but I don't have a lot of time. Could you come down?"

Lie. Say you have a case and you have to go in right now. "Okay"

A sleek grey town car was parked outside his building and Alex got out as soon as he appeared. Reid approached him with dread that tripled when Alex didn't kiss him hello like he usually did. "What's up?"

"How are you feeling?"

Just like that the craziness of last night rushed to the forefront of his mind and he understood what Morgan meant by it being filthy and sordid. "I'm much better." He lied. "Must have been something I ate at work."

"That's good." Alex looked down toeing at the tarmac with his loafers. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"Leave? You're leaving?" This day would not end.

"I'm having some trouble with a contractor on my building in Boston. I don't want to go but it's a good time for us to take a step back so you can figure out what you want."

"I – I – "

"This isn't an accusation. You are distracted, erratic. You ran out on our date without a word."

"I didn't feel well."

"But you felt well enough to call JJ?" In face of such damning evidence, Reid kept silent and hang his head. "I don't deserve to be treated like an afterthought so you have a decision to make."

"Hey, look at me." Alex pulled him into his arms, lifting his chin. "I'm crazy about you. I want you in every way that matters but we are not in the same place and I'm not going to take the bits and pieces you choose to dole out. So take your time and deal with your baggage. We'll talk when I get back."

When Alex leaned in it was the only kiss Reid had given that had nothing to do with Morgan. Running from him specifically. He felt the glimmer of what they could be if he let them.

"You keep kissing me like that and we just might make it."

Reid headed back to his apartment too tired to watch yet another man leave him.

He'd been dumped twice in one day.

Fucking Sundays!

**AN: **_**Yes, they were at work on a Saturday in the previous chapter. I don't think you get a lot of weekends off when you work in law enforcement.**_

_**I opened a LiveJounal account under the same name and one at Fanfiction Stop under Murderofminutes. Im still trying to find my way around both sites so bear with me.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**My favorite people;**

**Nannily, Marinelvr84, More Than Gold, Combatcrazy, LoveforPenandDerek and Brandy (I will check out adult fanfiction, thanks).**

**Maryhell – Thanks I finally got an account on TWCS. I'm still working out the kinks but I will upload as soon as I can.**

**Guest 1 – This is my LJ account: .com. The story is updated so follow or friend, all gestures from anyone are welcome.**

**Guest 2 - Welcome. Thanks for reviewing.**

**Wolfpawn – Thank you sooo much. I hope this chapter is also 'fantabulous'.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 11**

Hotch and Morgan stood outside the interrogation room. Through the two-way mirror they watched the resident genius quiz Miles Davis over the disappearance of fourteen women last seen in his company. There was no doubt that he was the killer but an insufficient amount of physical evidence determined that the only way to get justice for his victims was to wrangle a confession out of him.

As the clock approached the 48-hour mark at which point they'd have to release him, tensions were high. He continually sidestepped all their questions with riddles and rhymes a smug smile on his face. They had taken turns coming at him from every angle, Rossi, Prentiss and JJ were questioning his family, neighbors and friends, texting any bit of information that may be relevant; thirty-nine hours in they were exhausted. So far they still had nothing.

"He's not talking to me."

Hotch tapped the glass replying sarcastically. "I can see that."

"Not this asshole. Reid."

"What did you do?"

"I looked out for him like I always do. Now he's pissed off and acting like I don't exist. A little gratitude would be nice"

"Are you going to run away again?" The trademark frown pinned him in place. "I can't manage this team a man down. I will have to fire you."

"I DID NOT RUN. You told me to handle it and I did."

"I told you to have a mature rational discussion about your relationship - preferably fully clothed. What I didn't foresee was you hightailing it out of here on some bullshit mission?"

"As long as its clear that I wasn't running from his skinny…" Petulantly Morgan turned back towards the room in time to see a heavy fist hit Reid in the face sending him flying off his seat.

They burst in the room. Morgan heading straight for Reid while Hotch incapacitated the perp.

Reid sat dazed on the floor wiping his sleeve under his bloody nose. "I think I made some progress." He slapped Morgan's hands away rejecting his offer to help and got up on his own.

"I got a tip from Emily." He whispered when Hotch stepped over. "His mother was married to a John Winger in 1998. They got divorced when his 16-year-old daughter Sarah from a previous marriage went missing. Miles was 18 at the time. I should keep going…"

"No" Hotch grabbed his arm pushing him out the door. "Let Morgan take a look at that." He waved in the direction of his face.

Morgan dragged Reid into his office closing the door behind them. Retrieving the wet wipes from the desk he turned to find those doe eyes fixed unwavering on him. He cleared his desk of a laptop and knickknacks before sitting Reid on it.

Ignoring the tingling that spread from his fingertips he gently cupped the pale face examining his nose. The bleeding was minimal and it wasn't broken. It would have been a shame to mess up that pretty face.

'Hold still." Morgan said as he held Reid's head back to slow the bleeding. "So…you're not going to talk to me again? That's your whole plan." The sullen glare Reid threw him was cute and he thumbed the tempting pouty lips. Having him quiet was a blessing in disguise especially now that they were alone.

Dropping the wet wipes Morgan took one skinny thigh in each hand and slowly, deliberately pulled them wide before stepping between them. Reid let out a quick gasp and his eyes dropped to slits that watched his every move. "I never said I didn't want you."

"You did. I can quote you."

"Really?"

Reid nodded emphatically, he was pretty sure he'd heard those exact words. It made no sense that Morgan would be backtracking right now and he hated the hope that it gave him.

"Go ahead."

A terse silence followed during which Reid fumbled for an answer. "You said that uh… you uh..."

"You weren't even listening were you? You know for someone so smart you get real stupid real fast."

Reid scowled at him and tried to climb off the table. It was so easy to pin him to the desk no wonder he flew across the room when the unsub hit him. Morgan ran his hands over the thin torso, ribs poking through. God, how much weight had he lost?

Reid held himself stiffly skinny ribcage rising and falling harshly under the warm palms. His resolve leaked away with every firm stroke and he swayed towards Morgan wanting more. Morgan eyed him as he traced over his waist, gripping his thighs. Each brush of his fingers elicited the same languorous feeling that preceded arousal. It was like marionette theatre as he played puppet to Morgan's puppet master.

Reid felt the loss when Morgan backed up disposing of the red tinged towels. "Listen to me a sec." His shoulders slumped with defeat, whatever Morgan was about to say wouldn't be good.

"Our fucked up arrangement started because you were tired of being alone. You wanted to be happy. I want you to be happy. You met someone who if Garcia is to be believed is perfect for you. I will not let you fuck it up. If that makes me the bad guy then so be it."

"Its too late." Reid lied without compunction. "We broke up. He's already gone."

"What happened? Oh fuck! He didn't see us, did he?"

"No. It wasn't your fault. It turns out you were right he didn't really know me."

"I'm sorry kid…" Morgan started.

"I'm not a kid. Stop…calling me that and treating me like one. I don't want to be cosseted and protected…"

Hotch barged in ignoring both their irritated stares. "Miles Davis is secure but he's clammed up again. Morgan, go back in there. Don't let up on the missing person report that got filed thirteen years ago. It's the key to breaking him. Reid, can you keep working?"

Reid nodded reluctantly sliding to his feet. "I'll talk to Garcia find out anything we can about the missing stepsister."

Hurrying back to the interrogation room, Reid carried a slim file containing information that linked all the vital pieces of evidence. He slipped into the dark room handing over the file to Hotch. "It's all there."

"Good. Give it to Morgan."

Reid went in, handed Morgan the file with a meaningful look and rushed back out to watch the action unfold.

"Hey, quick hypothetical question." Reid asked. "Do you think mutual respect and physical compatibility are enough to build a strong relationship? I mean there are arranged marriages that have lasted which were built on a lot less."

"God! Talk to him." The terse reply was shot back. Hotch turned seeing right through him. "Be open and honest. And you should examine this need you have to force his hand. There's a big difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages."

Reid dropped the pretense. "I would never force him into anything. Maybe just subtly manipulate him into giving us a chance."

"Millions of women have probably tried that that same tact with no success."

"Even factoring in his current age and the approximate age he began interacting socially and sexually there's no way he has been involved with a million women."

"Don't do that. You know what I mean."

Yelling drew their attention back to work. They watched the unsub unravel when he was confronted with the knowledge that the stepsister he'd been honoring by ritually killing every year on her birthday was still alive. His face was red with rage; absolutely livid to discover she'd lived just two towns over while he scoured the country brutally slaughtering red headed women of her approximate age. Morgan postured, cornering Miles Davis and ripping the confession out of him.

"It would probably be a lot easier if I was genetically equipped to get pregnant." Reid mused out loud. "He'd never turn his back on his own child."

"Reid, I don't want to alarm you unduly but I think you've lost your mind."

"You don't think I know that." Reid turned elbows braced on the mirror. "I frequently wonder at what point I could have gotten off this crazy train. Before I made my request? Before I thought it?" He turned back round again physically incapable of keeping his eyes off Morgan for long. "Then I realize I assembled the train, built it tracks, dragged him onboard and now I'm speeding it off a cliff unwilling to let him leave."

"What happens if he doesn't come around?"

"He has to. Either way I won't be able to make a life with someone else until I know for sure." He said simply. "It's a good thing I'm not burdened with a lot of pride."

xxXxx

Reid raised his hand rapping sharply on the dark wood. He'd had enough time to think while he washed the last couple of days off of him and he'd left his home with resolve and a vaguely formed plan.

"I will take friends with benefits!" He choked out when Morgan opened his door shirtless, skintight jeans caressing his muscled limbs. "You said and I quote, 'It's one thing to fuck like minks simply because we can, that's how friends with benefits is supposed to work'."

"That was not an invitation."

"I am ready and willing to fuck like a mink whatever that means." He whispered as his gaze danced down Morgan's bare chest. "I will not ask you for anything else. Just…um…just sex."

Reid's stomach began to flutter with anticipation when a strong hand grabbed his belt, yanked him inside and slammed him against a wall.

"My rules?"

"Yes" He conceded even though they both knew he'd surrender to Morgan's will without question. Their eyes met for a brief heated moment before the back of his neck was grabbed dragging him forward, lips clashing in frantic desperation. Every hot wet kiss fueled his obsession, one long leg wrapped around Morgan's hip as he humped his swollen crotch on him.

"I am not going to go easy on you." Morgan growled tonguing his throat.

Reid moaned clinging to him like a limpet; heat seeped from the hot body into his warming him on the inside out. It felt so right and he ground back harder working his hips. A desperate wail escaped when his hair was pulled back impatiently. He knew what Morgan wanted was consent and he rushed to obey. "Yesyesyes."

He gave a stifled cry when Morgan unzipped his pants and began to roughly jerk him off. It was too soon but every firm tug of calloused fingers sent him trembling with the need to come. Orgasm rose inexorably spilling over every attempt to slow his pleasure down until he shot, creamy fluid splattering his lover's abs.

Morgan smirked when Reid collapsed boneless against him. This was how he preferred him, pliable, helpless, not making demands. Reid was still half hard obviously ready to go again. Good.

Shaggy brown hair flopped onto his forehead when Morgan tossed him onto the bed after stripping him naked. Taking a moment he studied him long limbs, smooth porcelain skin and contemplated breaking out the toys from his closet Reid would look so hot; cuffed, collared and chained to his headboard. But he was too impatient and if he freaked Reid out too much he might not come back for seconds. As it was the huge wary brown eyes already chased him around the room, a healthy dose of fear shining through when Morgan took off his jeans exposing his mammoth cock.

He lay over him braced on his elbows drawn to the fading bite-mark on the pale neck. Reid bucked up when he traced the indentations with his tongue. "You want it?"

Reid turned his head exposing his long bare neck for further assault. He whimpered and struggled, firm teeth sinking into him, marking him again. He hardened painfully, engorged manhood leaking on his belly. Morgan's tongue on his skin was a white-hot flame that spread to his nipples, dipping and nipping at his belly button, and flicking at his dripping slit.

"Knees." Morgan slapped at the pale thigh when Reid stared back at him incomprehensively. "Now" He snapped impatient at having to help the young genius to all fours. He could have explained that it would be easier on him, hurt a little less but he had to get in that ass.

At the sight of velvet smooth butt cheeks, which shielded the impossibly tight pink hole, precum spilled out of his dark head trailing down the rock hard shaft. Anticipation rippled down his spine and he reached over getting the half full jar of lube out of his bedside drawer. One finger coated with lube smeared the soft warm trench till it was slippery before he circled the portal, which puckered shying away.

"Easy" Morgan gentled him caressing the now flushed rump. "That's my angel." He praised when Reid settled.

Reid moaned high and needy when a fingertip pushed into the tight ring. The sounds he made were so fucking sexy.

The act of preparing him took the better part of an hour as he worked up from one digit to four. It was worth it to hear Reid whine like a little bitch with every brush over his prostate. When he couldn't hold out any longer he worked the long length of his dick, stroked the oil over the engorged tip, and placed it at the quivering hole, hunching forward. The head of his throbbing dick popped through as the opening gave way to steady pressure and he was buried balls deep. His head reeled at the sensation; he was so tight and hot.

Morgan spread him wider; a firm hand pressed the middle of his back holding him in place for the raw fucking.

Reid's mind was blank empty of all thought but the searing pleasure and numbing pain seesawing through him. Pleasure won out over pain his dick gripped in a powerful hand and he was taken at both ends. After that Reid's screaming became incoherent as his formerly virgin hole clutched at Morgan's gushing cock, out of control spasms rocketing through him as he spilled his load for the second time.

Morgan rolled off of the skinny man. His whole body still buzzed. Reid had slipped into a post orgasmic coma. He thought of kicking him out before their new arrangement got too complicated but he was too tired. Easier to just snuggle next to him and pull the covers over them.

**AN: This chapter is a lot longer than usual and wow was it hard to write. I think I just stripped myself of any 'smut virginity' I may have had left. I need a cigarette.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**My favorite people;**

**Cacamilis, Nannily, Marinelvr84, More Than Gold, Jennycrum, Combatcrazy, LoveforPenandDerek, Brandy, Wolfpawn, Guest1, Guest 2, antigone21 – Thank you sooo much. **

**Sue1313 – Yeah Morgan is pretty rough on him but he likes it.**

**Miss Sophie – Isabella – Thank you for taking an interest in my story I appreciate it and welcome.**

**Mindspsychoaddict – Welcome. Thank you for reviewing so many chapters at once. Loved it. **

**Guest 3 – It is really cool the time you take to deconstruct the story. It helps when I'm writing and you got the Christine reference, which was so awesome. I'm obsessed with Stephen King. Please give me a name.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 12**

A persistent stabbing in his belly woke Morgan. His eyelids cracked open slowly and he blinked, momentarily blinded by the early morning sun. His California King felt unusual, lumpy and it pulsated steadily beneath him wafting vanilla.

The sweet scent triggered the memory of desperate cries and frenzied coupling. How could he have forgotten even for a second that he lay on top of Reid? They hugged the very edge of the bed, a huge expanse behind them like Reid had been trying to escape the sex crazed maniac pursuing him across the sheets. Brunette curls tickled his nose when Reid shifted under him; he was probably struggling for breath as Morgan's heavy frame lay on his crushing him into the thick mattress. It was a miracle he was still conscious.

Morgan began to extricate himself from the tangled mess of genius and bedding. He paused every couple of seconds afraid to wake him but for every carefully detached limb another took its place. By the time he rolled onto his back, Reid was on top of him still soundly asleep, face buried in Morgan's neck. One thigh rested between Morgan's and he rocked back and forth subconsciously. This was torture!

"Reid?"

In response Reid burrowed in with a sexy wiggle. He was all pointy elbows and bony knees but there was something about his soft brown eyes, plump pink lips and miles of silky skin that was captivating. Morgan's hands followed his thoughts. They trailed up his arms, over his shoulders before tracing down his spine and lingering at the small of his back. Reid purred arching his back then settling in again.

A large mirror graced the right side of his room and Morgan eyed it, naughty thoughts trickling into his mind. He wouldn't. He shouldn't. It was so wrong but who was he kidding he wasn't one to resist temptation. Reid was obviously still blacked out. No harm, no foul. Morgan plucked a corner of the top blue bed sheet pulling it down with anticipation.

Gorgeous, he dazzled in the morning light. The slight catch of the sheet on the twin bumps of his pale cheeks teased him then offered them up to his avid gaze. Glued to the reflection in the mirror Morgan traced the perfect set of teeth marks marring the otherwise flawless skin. The memory of doing that was lost in a haze of lust and need, the night blurry, Morgan reaching for him every time he hungered unable to get enough.

"Morgan?" Reid stirred. "'S cold."

Caught ogling him like some pervert, Morgan overreacted instinctively pushing the slight man off of him. Unfortunately they were too close to the edge and with an ungainly squawk Reid flew buck-naked over the edge crashing to the floor.

Reid sat up rubbing the side of his head, a puzzled frown in place. "Did you just kick me out of your bed?"

He looked so put out Morgan resisted the urge to laugh. "It was an accident I swear. Come back to bed." He graciously lifted the sheets letting Reid back in.

Reid crawled in shuffling close to him. "I feel different." He whispered. "I didn't think I would but I do. Probably because it feels like you're still moving inside me." He flushed with embarrassment vermillion burning clean down his neck. "And everything hurts! You should have warned me about that."

"Would that have stopped you?"

"No! It was worth it. You were…um yeah."

Awkward silence flooded the room, both of them gazing into the distance contemplating the permanence of last night's actions.

Morgan rolled off the bed. "I'm going to…" he pointed at the bathroom disappearing behind the doors without waiting for Reid's response.

"What the hell have you done?" The whirr of the electric toothbrush covered up his confused muttering. "You slept with your best friend." He dropped the toothpaste looking in the mirror. "Don't sugarcoat it. You fucked him. Raw. Don't forget that at no time last night did you reach for a condom." Though that wasn't really a cause for concern it was Reid, now ex-virgin Reid who was probably freaking out right now. "Hold it together."

Reid scooted down stretching out on the king-size bed. Even the aches and pains that pulled at his pleasantly exhausted body wouldn't bring him down. The night had been amazing. Better than anything he'd been able to dream on his own.

He'd been to Morgan's house plenty of times in the past but the bedroom was undiscovered territory. The home had a certain masculinity that managed to feel homey as well. All the feminine influences in his life were evident in the soft pillows and bold rugs; there was an ornamental art nouveau lamp in his living room that reeked of Garcia. Reid didn't want to get ahead of himself. There was a chance that things between them wouldn't work out the way he planned but if they did he could be very happy here.

"I drew you a bath." Morgan strode back in, in a pair of sweats and interrupted his mental measuring of the drapes. "It will help with the pain."

"Thank you."

"Get up before the water cools."

"Turn around."

"Are you kidding me? After the night you just had?" Morgan stared at him when he made no move to leave the bed. "Fine" He surrendered. "I'll get breakfast. There are towels and a new toothbrush on the sink."

Reid wallowed in the luxurious tub without a care in the world. He washed up slowly, his big toe playing in the tap spout. The aqua body wash he sniffed and squirted liberally on the loofah smelled like Morgan fresh, sexy and very tempting. He would definitely be very happy here.

"Reid?" Morgan rapped on the door. "Are you okay? You've been in there a long time."

Reid mumbled something that implied compliance but he really had no intention of getting out of the tub any time soon. He was reaching for the hot water tap again when the tantalizing aroma of fresh coffee accosted him. "Is that coffee? Morgan?" He stumbled out almost cracking his skull open on the slippery tile.

Dressed in record time, Reid left the bedroom with caution. He snuck a look around every open door, eyes darting in all the hidden corners from which the unprovoked attack might come.

"He's at the Happy Pooch." Morgan said dryly glancing up at him from behind a large coffee mug.

"Huh?"

"Doggy day care. I board him when we have long cases." Morgan explained.

With a sheepish grin Reid trudged forward heading for the coffeemaker. "So he's not here waiting to slather me with – enthusiasm?"

"You know he might be the only dog in the world that actually likes you." Morgan rushed to Clooney's defense.

"You are worse than that lady at the mall." Reid grumbled pouring the dark liquid into a large mug adding what for him was a normal amount of sugar.

"You told her that her baby was ugly."

"I was merely stating a fact and I qualified it by saying that sometimes ugly babies grow into beautiful adults. Even though in her case that will not be true."

Exasperated Morgan went back to perusing the paper.

Reid raised the ceramic to his nose deeply inhaling the potent brew. There was nothing like good coffee. Eyes slipped shut as sighs of bliss escaped his parted lips. Reverently he lowered the mug to his lips; a dart of tongue licked a stray drop off the rim. Dark flavor exploded on the very tip, a potent of pleasure to come. He moaned in delight bracing himself for the first sip until the cup was yanked out of his hands. "What…" he got out before hot lips covered his.

Hmmm! Morgan and coffee. Either Morgan had just ruined coffee for him or made it way way better. Engulfed in the strong arms he plunged into the kiss, arms twining, clinging. Slowly, sensually the heat rebuilt between them. The subtle rocking of hips reignited the passion that was always simmering beneath the friendly surface. Reid hissed in discomfort when a rough thrust careened his sore hip into the granite counter.

Morgan reeled back unable to go far with Reid's hands fisted in his vest. "I'm sorry, babe. I keep forgetting that you're new to this. Did the bath help at all?"

"I'm fine. Don't stop." Reid peppered the stubbly jaw with kisses. "I want to stay."

"Stop writing cheques your body can't cash." Morgan backed away. "Finish breakfast. Your cab will be here soon."

"My what?"

"I called you a cab unless you want to limp to the bus then the two blocks to your house."

"We don't have to go into work today." Reid said. "I can stay."

"Now is not a good time. I've gotta pick Clooney up. He doesn't see me enough as it is. I don't want him to feel neglected."

_Thrown over for the dog. Great._

"Okay then." Reid stammered soldiering on. "How about I come back over tonight?"

"I've got a date."

"Oh!" It didn't take him long to gather up his coat but fussing with it was as good as excuse as any to avoid looking Morgan in the eye.

"Hey Reid, wait a minute" Morgan chased after him catching him at the front door. "We are on the same page about what we are doing here, right?

Reid nodded even though he was dying on the inside. The slap on his butt on his way out was especially humiliating. Maybe he had more pride than he thought. He spent the rest of his day actively not thinking about Morgan by doing some research for his next possible degree. He needed something with a heavy workload that would be a sufficient distraction from stalking his callous friend.

He could swear that he stumbled across Dr. Charles Waehler's, '_**Bachelors: the Psychology of men who haven't married**_' by accident. He downloaded it to the Kindle that had been a birthday present from Prentiss and devoured the information in the next twenty minutes. Then he read it again eyes lingering on certain statements.

He mouthed them out loud trying to convince himself to give up hope. "_After 40, the likelihood that a never hitched man will marry drops to 1 in 5. These bachelors tend to be only children or only sons and/or men whose parents married later in life_." Sounded like Morgan. "_3 million men in this country alone choose not to marry. They are not woman-haters or mama's boys. They are just happy the way they are."_

Much as Reid resented those statements he couldn't deny that they held a ring of truth. Emotionally Morgan was a bad bet he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen him with the same woman twice. For someone who craved stability, Alex was looking like the better choice in the long run.

A key rattled in his lock and Reid hurried to close the book. Morgan was the only one who had a key to his apartment that would just walk in like he owned the place. Shit! He was wearing the pajamas he always wore when he was depressed; they were really comfortable but threadbare from overuse and very unappealing. Oh well too late! He leaned back on his desk and waited.

"I thought you…uh hi…date." He stammered at his unexpected visitor.

Morgan stood in the entryway watching him with deep dark eyes. "Should I go?"

"No" Reid pulled off his pajama top meeting him halfway.

**AN: All my Guest reviewers please feel free to leave a name, made up or otherwise or not. I'd just like to say thank you without losing you in the masses.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

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**Nannily, Jennycrum, LoveforPenandDerek, Brandy, Wolfpawn, JustAFan, Fantomax27 – Thank you sooo much for reviewing consistently.**

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**Jane** – **Thank you for your review. I'm sorry that you hate the story though it's a credit to you that you've kept on reading. I do need a beta but my job is insane. I steal minutes during the day and late at night to write. It would be unfair of me at this point to expect someone else to put up with my crazy schedule. I would've loved to send this to your inbox but you hadn't logged in. I don't want this to feel like a public rejection of your review. Believe me it is not.**

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**May May May – You gave me a name – so cool – and you got it as always. Thank you! You honor me with your words.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 13**

Reid checked his phone once again fiddling with the buttons to make sure it was working. It was and there were still no messages. He went back to monitoring the open door, the repetitive thwack of his pen on notepad loud in the briefing room.

It was late Monday afternoon and they'd been stuck in a mandatory accountability meeting all day as per Strauss' orders. The seat across from him where Morgan would usually be was empty. He hadn't seen the other agent since he'd turned up unexpectedly at his place the night before, slept with him then heartlessly escaped in the early hours. Reid shook his head when JJ caught his eye frowning at him in question. Attention back on his notepad he chased the words reluctantly across the page. Maybe Morgan had gone back to his date slept with her too. He could attest to his stamina as a lover who knew how many partners it would take to truly satisfy him. Maybe Reid's awkward, inexperienced fumbles were not yet good enough for him.

All of the hope he'd built up since the first night they touched was slowly tumbling down. For every insensitive act Morgan perpetrated he lost a little bit of himself and whatever high regard he'd held for the other man. Reid stopped himself from checking the door or reaching for his phone again. He was going to end it. He couldn't live like this.

"Where is Morgan?" Prentiss nudged Garcia when the meeting finally ended. Reid trailed behind them eavesdropping shamelessly. "If I had to live through that snooze fest then so does he!"

"He is driving Mama Morgan to the airport."

"I should have known. He is such a mama's boy!" Prentiss laughed before ducking into Rossi's office.

"Wait!" Reid stopped Garcia. "His mum's in town? His actual mother?"

"I don't think he has another one." Garcia replied as though talking to a really slow person. "Are you okay Sweetie? If you need to talk, you don't have to wait for Morgan. My door is always open. But if you touch my computer again I will break off those skinny little hands, bedazzle them and mount them on my wall to ward off other offenders." She finished with a sweet smile and scary eyes.

"N-N-No! I'm ok." Reid headed for his desk. The tongue-lashing she'd given him last week for spilling coffee into her keyboard still lingered.

Hours crawled past each one longer than the last. Reid waved at JJ declining her offer to join her family for dinner. Since it was a slow day the rest of the team had taken their chance and fled, eager to retain some semblance of a social life. Reid lingered in the office penning a letter to his own mother and poring over old files. He had nothing to go home to.

"Have dinner with me?" The gravelly voice stopped his heart. Just like that all Reid's resolve flew out the window.

He was quiet on the ride to the restaurant dodging Morgan's puzzled looks. Torn between hurling accusations at him and climbing into his lap and latching onto his lips, silence was the safest option. They ended up at what he thought of as their restaurant. So many nights had been spent there as they argued and laughed late into the night trying to forget the horrible things they'd witnessed on the job. Nostalgia worked its magic and despite his latest resolution a specter of hope niggled at the back of his mind.

"You can relax. This is not a date."

"How do you do that?"

"I know you." Morgan arched a brow at him playful grin teasing his full lips. "When you're nervous you get all squirmy. It was an easy leap after that."

Why isn't it a date? Oh wait; Reid raged silently, buying him dinner was not part of their brand new arrangement.

"What have I done now?"

"What?"

"The fierce scowl?" Morgan thumbed the folds on Reid's forehead. "You've been mad at me the whole ride down."

The smile Reid leveled on him was saccharine sweet and dripping with resentment. "What could you possibly have done to piss me off?" He queried sarcastically. His list of grievances was armed and ready to fire at the object of his wrath. Taking a deep breath he prepared to launch into his tirade.

Before he could get the first syllable out the waitress sashayed over, slapped one menu in front of him and handed the other to Morgan with a flirty smile. She was obviously a new hire. By now at the sight of them the other wait-staff simply brought out their orders, they'd placed them so many times.

Reid watched as she leaned over his man pointing out an item out on the menu. The ample cleavage that strained at the low cut t-shirt brushed his shoulder. He zeroed in on that point of contact rage building. It was like he didn't exist. The fact that Morgan wasn't flirting back brought him no comfort. Is this what he had to look forward to? A lifetime of competition for a man he wasn't sure wanted him back?

"That's it." Already at the end of his rope Reid snapped. "You can have him. I'm out." The hard leather bound pages he thrust at her jabbed her in the belly and he stormed out head high, righteously indignant.

"Reid?" Morgan yelled coming after him. The hand that gripped his elbow dragged him to a stop a few feet from the restaurant. "What the hell was that? You just acted like a fucking brat."

Yanking his arm away Reid reeled back swearing. "I can't do this. I can't. I can't."

Morgan spun away from him before leaning on a nearby car. They waited while a young couple hurried past them holding on tight to each other giving them wary glances. "I'm not making you do anything." He said slowly deliberately. "You can walk away any time you want."

Wind knocked out of his sails, Reid struggled for control. One lone tear escaped his eye and he brushed it aside impatiently. The only person he hated more than himself at that moment was Morgan. His weakness for him and the non-existent pride that would not let him walk away sanity intact was an albatross around his neck. "I hate you for doing this to me."

Inscrutable Morgan replied. "I know."

"Don't patronize me." Reid retaliated. "You always do that." Strung out he began to pace hands waving frantically words pouring out. "You lied to me. You let me believe that you were out with someone else after I gave myself to you. I was home all day, alone, freaking out for no apparent reason because you were meeting your mother. Your mother! Is that why you threw me out of your house? You didn't want her to find me at your place. I'm not that socially ignorant that I would bring up the fact that we had just fucked." The f word ugly in this context struck the ground, a gauntlet, between them. "After resigning myself to a painful night I would have to spend away from you, you showed up fucked me again and snuck out like a…"

"I did not sne-"

"Yes you did. I woke up and you were gone. Again. Poor clueless Reid!" He jeered. "There must be something so terribly wrong with me that the very thought of my skin touching yours after we have sex sends you running in the opposite direction. Well you know what Morgan I am done. I deserve better than to be used for your selfish sexual gratification."

"Whoa! Wait up?" Morgan rose up off the car all pretense at calm cast to the wind. One blunt finger poked Reid in the chest. "I'm using you? You set the terms." Morgan taunted. "You needed sexual experience to impress your boyfriend I obliged. You proposed a friends with benefits arrangement _**two days ago **_and I'm going along with it."

"That's because I felt that was the only door open to me."

"Everything is not about you." Morgan tossed back.

Determined to never back down again Reid shoved him. "Why did you ask me here? Why?"

Morgan turned and walked away stopping his back to him. Probably thinking of another way to manipulate you Reid thought cynically. He readied himself when Morgan strode back oozing determination until they stood face to face combative stances held barely in check

"Tell me this genius," He asked. "How do they end?"

"What?"

"The fantasies in your head. We get together then what? We skip off into the sunset while music plays? Can you honestly tell me that you've thought about _**us **_in a completely non-Disney way?"

"Disney?" Reid sputtered resisting the urge to stamp his foot. "I'm not childish." Morgan was so pigheaded and arrogant and sure that he knew what was best for every body in any given situation.

"No. You are naïve. Every conversation we ever have is about you. What you want? What you need? We don't live in a bubble and this world is an ugly ugly place. Did you hear that punk yell 'fag' as he went by?" Reid turned around following Morgan's pointed finger at the young white male in a hooded sweatshirt who sauntered down the street still mouthing obscenities at them. The distant crowd that had gathered to witness their fight was a revelation to him.

"Emotionally you are a mess right now." Morgan raged at him. "You want to commit to me? Why? You think everyday is going to be laughter and orgasms? Have you thought about the hard questions? Have you thought about work?"

"Hotch knows and he's fine with it."

"Hotch is a good boss and a better friend. He will protect us the best way he can but if Strauss finds out we're out. Are you willing to walk away from the BAU if we get fired for violating the fraternization policy?"

Reid stared back at him, dark brown eyes boring into his. His defense fizzled.

"The sex and the sentiment that comes along with it is brand fucking new to you right now. What if you meet someone else tomorrow? Somebody a lot better for you than I am. Intellectually? Emotionally?" Morgan continued softly. "Will you leave me to be with him?"

"You know me I would never do that."

"So you'd stay with me out of obligation? Pity? You think that's something I would want? I don't think you even know you. Last week you were with someone else willing to do absolutely anything to be with him. I'm the lucky guy this week. Who will it be next week? What of the week after that"

Chastised Reid fell back to sullen silence. Sure he hadn't considered all the possible pitfalls that came with an adult relationship but that didn't give Morgan a right to treat him like a child. Much as he tried to block him out, the logic behind his queries though cold and clinical was definitely concrete. Under normal circumstances Reid would have had the same questions.

"I am here and I am not going anywhere. But you need time to find your feet with no pressure and no expectations. Okay?" Morgan's strong dark palms encircled his bony wrists. "Now let me take you home before one of those fools calls the cops."

"We outrank the local cops."

"I know, angel. Just get moving." The sound of his favorite pet name appeased him but only slightly.

The car ride home was even quieter. Reid burrowed in his seat gazing out the windows, blind to the passing traffic. He was sulking and he knew it. Morgan's reference to his immaturity had struck a raw nerve and then he realized giving him the silent treatment until he was coaxed out of his bad mood wasn't an adult reaction. Reluctantly he straightened up, there was no way he was apologizing he'd done nothing wrong but he could start small before demanding his own apology. "So your date was with your mom?" He inquired. "Isn't that weird? Uncool? The equivalent of you taking her to prom?"

"Don't be a smart ass. She brought along a friend and her friend's daughter."

"She set you up?" Reid's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Like a blind date?"

"Yup. At least this time she gave me some sort of warning. Usually these conveniently eligible women pop out of nowhere and she acts surprised before introducing us, faking a headache and leaving us alone."

Great! Reid muttered to himself, this was just what he needed more competition. "So she doesn't know that you are bisexual?"

"No!"

They screeched to a halt barely missing their chance to fly through the intersection when the light flashed from yellow to red. Reid took moment to sigh with relief at least she wasn't setting him up with other guys as well.

He jumped when Morgan's fist slammed into the steering wheel the conversation obviously agitating him. "She used to ask me the same damn thing every time I saw her. When was I getting married? When would I give her grandkids? Now she is dropping women in my lap, wide-eyed innocents who look at me like I hang the moon. God knows what she is telling them." From an angry retort his voice dropped to a weary mumble. "I know she meddles out of love and concern but I feel like she's trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me?"

Stunned Reid spun as much as he could to face him without taking off his seatbelt. "That's ridiculous I have met your mother once and if even I could tell how much she loves you, it must be visible to the whole world"

"I know that she does." Dejected Morgan shook his head accelerating at the green blink. "I just…a lifetime of religious indoctrination cannot be scaled in one day."

Reid sunk back into his seat dumbfounded by the brand new information. If Morgan's family rejected him even for a second he would be devastated. He couldn't do that to him. "It could turn out okay."

"It could but it has been my experience that real life is not that simple."

Previously unconsidered worries crowded Reid's brain; all the times Morgan said it wasn't about him took on new meaning. There was a reason for the no profiling each other rule. They all had their secrets. When the bad cases were over they scurried to their meetings, bottles and warm bodies getting through the pain separately in any way they knew how. His lover's demon had a name. The one and only time he'd brought Carl Buford up after the case, Morgan had shut down so completely it'd been days before they spoke about more than work. Grateful to have his friend back he never brought it up again.

Reid redirected the AC vent, it was already disturbingly warm in the cab but his hands were freezing cold. He shied away from the statistics of male sexually abused victims inability to function normally in relationships as adults. Troubled he remembered all the women that Morgan had been involved with. He knew their names, faces and obscure details about their lives even those that had left almost as soon as they'd arrived. Morgan's reputation as a ladies man was legendary at the BAU but what if it wasn't on purpose? What if it was a horrendous side effect of childhood trauma? He glanced back at Morgan wondering how much more he hid below the charming exterior. The already daunting task of winning him over took on insurmountable proportions.

With every passing mile distance yawned between them. Reid scrubbed at his face he could feel his mood plummet, despair and hopelessness tugging at his heartstrings.

By the time they rolled to a stop in front of his apartment building, one thing was clear. He missed his petty concerns. This was too much, too fast. Reid wasn't yet emotionally equipped to deal with a commitment this intense especially since his chosen partner was probably deeply and irrevocably flawed. He needed time to process, figure out what he wanted but if he run now they'd both know that he had decided that Morgan was too much work.

"What happens now?" He murmured, placing the decision solidly on Derek's shoulders.

Morgan took his time turning the key in the ignition. His hand rested on the console between them so close and yet so far away. "You've been calling the shots all this time so you tell me. What do you want to happen?"

_**We have a weight to carry and a distance we must go.**_

_**We have a weight to carry, a destination we can't know.**_

_**We have a weight to carry and can put it down nowhere.**_

_**We are the weight we carry from there to here to there. **_

_**Dean Koontz, Book of Counted Sorrows.**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks peeps, sorry I'm in a big hurry will reply personally next chapter;**

**Idontdanceigrand, Guest 1, Guest2, JennyCrum, More Than Gold, Wolfpawn, LoveforPenandDerek, Kids7hot2 and May as always.**

**Marinelvr84 - I'm so sorry you and your son are sick. Feel better. **

**Noskilz – Thank you thank you. Welcome.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 14**

A flash of red in the corner of his eye sent Reid scrambling out of his seat. The clacking of keys in the tense room seemed to pause at the loud crack of his chair on cubicle before starting up again. He glanced around but the bright hue had vanished. Unwilling to take any chances he decided to make a run for it. Morgan was wearing a red sweater. Eyes darting, head ducking he backed away from his desk just a couple more steps and he'd be free. The chatter in the bullpen rose exponentially when he tripped over Agent Carlson's chair and fell to the floor. Brushing aside Prentiss' concern he raced down the hall bursting into the break room.

Home free he closed his eyes, rested his head against the cool grey wood and sighed with relief. Sure he'd left his dignity all over the bullpen floor but he'd escaped once again. For the past three days he'd made himself the same promise, he would talk to Morgan and apologize for running from him without answering his question but every time he saw him he went into complete panic mode. There was only room for in his mind for guilt, sorrow and shame and no decent way to voice either.

"Morning"

_Son of a bitch!_

One eye popped open and confirmed his worst fear. Morgan at his 'bronze godliest' as Garcia would put it leaned nonchalantly against the counter dressed head to toe in - black? "You tricked me!"

The slow smug 'gotcha' smile that pulled at Morgan's lips was so very annoying. "I had to do something. You've been creeping about like you stole something. It's funny as hell to watch but completely ridiculous." He picked up the steaming mug and held it out to Reid. "You can't hide from me forever."

"I am not hiding fr…" He met the disbelief in Morgan's kind eyes with a wry smile as he stumbled forward for the cup. Reid's breath caught at the brief brush of the dark fingers on his. Heat seeped into his palms and he hang his head counting slowly until the tremors stopped. "I don't know what to say about – everything." He mumbled.

Morgan studied the sleek tumble of brown curls atop the bent head. Tips of the delicate pink shells of his ears peeked out. Drawn to the pale curve of his neck Morgan raised his hand then dropped it again. If there was anything of them left to salvage he couldn't keep touching him. "Don't say anything."

Reid's head snapped up, mutiny forming as he opened his mouth to argue. Morgan cut him off. "We have been friends a long time. It would be stupid to let something like this wreck us."

Subdued but interested Reid asked. "What do you suggest?"

"Well we need to plow through the weirdness. How about I pick you up tomorrow?" At Reid's skeptical look he hurried to reassure him. "I bought a new house it's a bit of a fixer upper. I'm handling the renovations myself. You can come with me and hammer some nails pretend it's my head."

"We'd be - alone?" Reid didn't mean to but the word still slipped out suggestive and lingering painting the air around them with heat.

Morgan evaded the glistening hazel pools. "We'll be fine." He croaked. This was clearly a lie but if he said it long enough it could come to pass. He battled himself even as desire crawled into his chest, curled up and settled in with no intention of ever leaving. Deflect. Deflect. "Uh! I'm stunned I thought when I asked you, your mind would go straight to John Wayne Gacy, Jr."

"The serial rapist who murdered teenage boys between 1972 and 1978 and buried 27 of them underneath the floorboards of his house? Why would I bring that up?"

"Those are the kinds of things you say."

"I am capable of having a normal interaction with people of average intelligence."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"If the average sized brain fits."

"Ouch!" Morgan faked hurt clutching at his chest. "You wound me."

They bickered falling back into the rhythms of their long-term friendship with reassuring familiarity. Even as they made new plans to repair their bond the pantry door hang open besides them a subtle reminder that some doors can never be completely closed.

xxXxx

Reid wandered around the ground floor of the colonial style house. It was big, bare and every square footage screamed 'family home'. In spite of the sawdust still covering every surface it was obviously in the process of being lovingly restored. He itched to race upstairs and explore every nook and cranny but Morgan had warned him against the loose staircase.

He had always assumed that when he got older he would meet someone and they'd build a home together and until that day came he would live in his tiny apartment. Maybe that didn't have to be so. He could buy a house on his own. Things between him and Morgan could go back to normal. They already felt more and more like their old selves. The ride down had been an extension of yesterday's camaraderie, which was such a relief from the crippling shame that had plagued him since that awful night.

For a moment he felt a terrible sense of loss. He replayed the last moment, the last question, the last chance he'd had to get the love he wanted before he run. But even now the very thought of taking that final step stole his breath and sent panic clawing through his chest. Tormented by insecurity he lived in absolute fear of getting Morgan and then inevitably losing him.

"Reid?" Morgan called again advancing on the unnaturally still form of his best friend. He dropped the heavy toolbox on the rickety table. Along with a fragile dusty chair, they were the only rejects from the previous owners possessions left in the house. "Reid?"

Finally snapping out of his reverie Reid turned round giving Morgan an odd smile. Emotion blazed out of his sad eyes. He was such an open book but his misery was a reminder that they were supposed to be moving back not forward.

Reid brightened at the sight of the toolbox rushing forward and carefully opening it. This was a whole new experience for him. Since he was a kid he'd been more intellectually than physically inclined, chess an easy pick over building things. Now he couldn't deny his fascination with manly tools and the many wonders they hid. He frowned at the new tools on the inside of the box, rechecked the beat-up outside then looked at Morgan. "I don't know what to ask."

"It was my dad's but over the years I've replaced the tools with new ones but I kept the box."

Picking up a screwdriver with a flat edge Reid tossed it from hand to hand. "Wow! My dad never let me touch his tools." An exuberant toss missed his right hand and sent it tumbling to the floor.

"Gee I wonder why." Morgan said sarcastically before chasing after the rogue instrument.

"What are we doing?" Reid picked up a saw waving it in the air. "Can I use this?"

"No. You…" Morgan grabbed it out of his hand before replacing it with a bright yellow and black object. "…use that."

"Measuring tape?" He squeaked voice high at the slight snub. "I want a big tool."

Morgan's hair trigger libido already under great strain the whole ride over was chomping at the bit. The damn vanilla scent lingered in his nostrils mercilessly teased his senses. He was sure he could smell Reid on him and despite several washes was unable to get him out of his sheets. Several deep breaths and a stern reminder that they were friends, just friends from now onwards barely helped the resolution.

"This one." Reid crowed. "This is the one." He glanced over to find Reid blatantly fingering the 24-inch adjustable wrench.

Morgan cracked. "Stop that."

"What?" Wide innocent eyes peered up at him. "I was just testing my grip. I'm I doing it wrong?"

"Believe me." Morgan ground out. "Your – grip – is – FINE!"

The tone in his voice must have given him away because after an embarrassed "Ohhh!" Reid colored dropping the wrench.

Three beats of silence passed. All the reasons they stopped having sex ceased to matter. "No!" Morgan ordered when Reid took a step forward, relieved when the sexy genius didn't listen.

They crashed together kissing like breathing, natural, necessary. Morgan ate at his mouth hands fisted in his hair. Reid fought for breath, lust an impenetrable smog swallowing him up. The thought that he could ever stop doing this was absurd. Unseeing they bumped into the wobbly table sending the toolbox to the floor. Scarred and battered it gladly absorbed one more dent.

Morgan ripped through the barrier of Reid's clothes until he stood naked before him. Collapsing to the flimsy chair he dragged Reid into his lap nipping and sucking at his long neck and hard nipples. The slim hands made quick work of his belt stroking and pulling at the exposed length.

Craving the dark taste of him in his mouth, Reid tugged at the thick muscles that wouldn't let him go. His pleas went unanswered then unspoken at the slight probing of a hot wet finger between his cheeks. Impatient he ground back on Morgan's fingers the preparation quick and desperate. Morgan pushed inside him, taking him, possessing him. It was intense and exhilarating. Grabbing the strong body as tight as he could, he wrapped his arms around the sturdy shoulders rising and falling picking up the tempo in the ancient dance.

Rough denim scratched the inside of Reid's thighs as their rhythm got deep and hard making up for lost time. Taking exception to every violent move, the spindly chair squeaked in protest. One leg fractured with unheard warning before giving out tossing them to the floor. A tight grip on the slim hips Morgan kept them together rebuilding rougher better. Lips fused blocking the eager cries that erupted in long held out passion. Heads tossed back, spines bowed they exploded in orgasm.

Reid crumpled on to Morgan's larger frame his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't move. Didn't want to. The mess they had made slowly came back into focus and he fought a nervous giggle. "We might need a new plan." He picked up the stray tube of lube and held it in front of Morgan's face.

"I was a boy scout?" Morgan grinned cheekily.

Reid could no longer suppress the snicker that led to a full-blown laugh. Morgan joined in both of them in stitches, clinging to their sides.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

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**Cacamilis, Noskilz, Wolfpawn, Guest, Combatcrazy LoveforPenandDerek, Nannily, mindspsychoaddict, Idontdanceigrind, 12635397 and MorethanGold.**

**Brandy – The Boy Scout motto is 'Always Prepared' it is supposed to be funny because Morgan claimed he just wanted to be friends but was carrying the lube anyway. And the wrench was based on the fact that Morgan's brain was on sex so Reid stroking the large tool set him off. Sorry I lost you.**

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**Raynepyke – Thank you. I really love it that you are reviewing with such enthusiasm. I'm amazed by your kind words.**

**May – Wow! You really were giddy!**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 15**

Buck naked, body full of cock, Reid straddled Morgan's lap, his vision blurry as they steamed up the car windows. Outside rain fell in a sheet, icy drops pummeling the SUV, the resultant thunderous racket covered their cries and hopefully the rising mist shielded them from curious eyes. On the way back from Morgan's 'project' they had gotten so wrapped up in each other. They had made up – sort of – the crazy emotional tension while not completely vanquished was at least put on the back burner while they reveled in the fact that their friendship was intact. Maybe they could be both friends and lovers but that was an argument for another day. Right now their primary relationship still stood despite the emotional battering that it had suffered over the past few weeks, which is all that mattered.

The sudden thunderstorm on the slick highway had caught them off guard forcing them to pull over when visibility dropped. "So…" was the extent of Reid's conversation starter before Morgan dragged him into his lap, stripped him and took him, demanding mouth silencing all protest.

Reid arched his back tugging helplessly at his restraints, the handcuffs clinked against the steering wheel but held firm. He loved how easily Morgan had pulled his hands behind his back shackling him to the wheel. He'd never felt anything like it. The many facets of his sexual curiosity were being satisfied in unexpected ways. Every time they connected – 'fucked' the filthy word felt strange on his tongue - he learned new things about himself. But now was not the time to figure it out so he filed away his strange new urges there would be time enough to examine them later.

"Please please." He begged, squirming to get closer.

Between his splayed thighs Morgan stroked his rigid cock, precum dribbling down the sides. Slowly so slowly, the hot palm twisted and pulled at him, big thumb lingering on the sensitive head until he was ready to scream. The distant ringing of his cellphone was ignored there was only now and right now nothing mattered more than the thick cock stretching his insides.

"There" He whimpered in pleasure with each pegging of his prostate. "Right th - there…NO!" He cried out when Morgan stopped moving again. Reid knew what he wanted, knew that Morgan desired his submission above all else. It was hard but he could do it if it meant he could come.

Reid held still the muscles in his thighs straining, knees digging into the car seat. Sweat trickled down his spine meeting Morgan's hands where they cupped his firm cheeks. Commanding brown eyes collided with his through the damp brunette strands that fell into his face. Harsh panting filled the cab his thin chest rising and falling in sync with Morgan's. His hands fumbled for purchase digging into the soft leather of the wheel as he teetered on the brink. Dark fingers plucked at his erect nipples, rubbing the pink buds. Reid's cock jerked with each pluck coming close to the edge but it wasn't enough to tip him over he needed harder, rougher, more. He bit down hard on his bottom lip as Morgan played with him reestablishing his dominance.

White teeth scraped Reid's collarbone teasing him with the promise of the bite to come. His neck was already a mess stinging from where Morgan had feasted on him earlier, rough stubble scratching at the recent bites. Mindlessly Reid chased his lover's mouth dying to feel the soft lips on his but every time he got close Morgan leaned back out of reach leaving him gasping in frustration.

Reid wallowed in the 'fuck' finding it strangely freeing to not worry about the emotional side of things. This was not about love – yet! Or if ever! Reid didn't know where they were heading and right now it didn't matter. He panted in delirium his body arching as Morgan rewarded his obedience with movement. The rock hard cock punched through his clenching hole, splitting him open. Shuddering and seizing he held on to Morgan's shoulders, gasping every time the massive log bottomed out.

"Uuuhhh!" He moaned as he spiraled, falling into hedonistic darkness. "Ohhh god!" It burned so so good.

Morgan hammered inside of him strong arms holding him in place; he could only receive as the rattling metal drove into his slender wrists. When the older man swept his hair off his face taking his mouth in a passionate kiss. It was enough.

He blew his load splattering Morgan's shirt with his seed. When he came to his chin was planted under his friend's neck, said friend shaking him awake.

"Reid?" Morgan shook him again. "We gotta go. Garcia called."

Shit!

They rushed by Morgan's to shower and change before they hurried to the BAU. Awkwardly Reid trailed behind Morgan face averted to hide his bright red blush. It had been awhile since he'd been late to work. Had in fact promised that he'd never be late again.

And they were late, noticeably late judging by Hotch's disapproving stare. Reid kept his head down and shuffled past JJ to his seat. Despite the quick shower he felt like he still smelled of sex, he was surprised that he wasn't on the receiving end of pointed fingers and knowing grins.

During the briefing session his eyes flicked to Morgan at the most inappropriate times flashing back to the past few hours. He had sex on the brain. Couldn't wait for the next time they'd get together again. Subconsciously he traced the bite marks on his neck, he kept reaching up to make sure his tie and shirt collar held their place. Reid looked up to catch Morgan's sly wink. Great! He knew!

"Dr. Reid" Rossi called out popping his head into the briefing room. "Come with me."

Reid checked with Hotch for permission before following after Rossi. Reluctantly he took the file that was handed to him. He flipped through it hoping he didn't look as sullen as he felt. The words he read strung together to form sentences that for once meant nothing to him, his mind was with his lover and the carnal pleasures that he could provide. Unable to focus on the written word he turned to the older agent who was already droning on.

"Jim Patton is accused of murdering his family. He claims he has no idea when or if he got home last night. The last thing he remembers is going to a bar near his office, problem is his prints are all over the murder weapons." Rossi looked up to find him staring longingly into space. "Are you even listening to me? Reid?"

"Yes, of course." Grabbing the file with confidence Reid went off to grab his go bag. It wasn't until he'd settled into the SUV on the way to the airport that he realized he had no idea where they were heading. "Where are we going - again?"

"I've mentioned it like three times." Rossi frowned at him like he'd lost his mind. "Boston, Reid." He added impatiently. "We are going to Boston."

**AN: I'm sorry this is shorter than usual but my sister is getting married in a week and it has kind of eclipsed my whole life. I'm going on holiday the week after that. I'm not yet sure how that will affect my ability to update but if it is less at least you know why.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Jennycrum, Nannily, Idontdanceigrind, Marinelvr84, Combatcrazy, Guest and Brandy. – Thank you!**

**Tig, MoreThanGold and Maryhell - Thanks you guys for all your good wishes and kind words.**

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**Cacamilis – Welcome back.**

**I had time to hide in closets and cobble this together when my formerly easy-going sister morphed into Bridezilla. I know she's under a lot of pressure and I still love her but I can't wait for Saturday to be over. **

**In the meantime my happy place;**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 16**

Reid gripped the armrest, hands clenching and unclenching as the plane descended into Logan International airport. Lost in his own thoughts he pondered the cruelties of fate. Of all the cities that Rossi would be called in for a favor he had to end up in this one. He didn't believe in coincidences, life was many things but never random. He gazed out the oval window wondering which one of the towering skyscrapers was Alex's. Knowing he was out there somewhere was playing havoc with his emotions. A mixture of guilt and something resembling regret churned his gut.

"Reid" He snapped out of it when Rossi called his name. They'd finished taxing down the runway. It was time to disembark. Getting his things together he deliberately separated from all his personal drama, throwing himself into work might be the only way to combat his dilemma.

He was surprised when the Boston PD Captain met them at the gate. The hug between Rossi and the tall graying Oriental man spoke of long acquaintance.

"Captain Deng, Dr Reid." Reid waved avoiding the outstretched palm and honest gaze. It seemed the more time he spent interacting physically with other people i.e. Morgan the more conscious he was of his inability to touch strangers.

They took advantage of their government official status, making quick work of their luggage and rushing through the security protocols. Nestled a half hour later in the indiscriminate gray sedan, Reid flipped through the file. The additional photos from the crime scene provided more insight. He examined the blood splatter pattern especially the trail that led to the master bedroom and stopped abruptly two feet from the balcony.

"What were the results of the tox screen?" He questioned the gents upfront.

"Nothing traceable that could explain his possible memory loss." The captain replied. "As far as we are concerned he is in perfect health. You know, for somebody who just up and murdered his wife, twin boys and three year old baby girl. Jim is so completely devastated. I could swear on his innocence."

"You know him personally?"

"The three of us grew up together." Rossi jumped in. "He has a crazy ass temper and him and Anna were having problems but there's no way he'd ever hurt his kids. They were the real love of his life."

Reid went back to examining the crime scene but as soon as the car pulled to a stop outside the station he pulled Rossi aside. "You are too close to this." He cautioned.

"I know which is why I brought you along!" Rossi's earnest look bored into him. "I may not be objective but you and your scary dispassionate analytical mind will be. I need a voice of reason, no one's better than at that than you."

Dispassionate. Reid reeled back from the ugly word. Dispassionate people did not make good friends or good husbands or good parents. Is that how people saw him, as impartial, unfeeling? Sure it was an asset at his job but lately he wanted more. He wanted to be the guy you called when you needed a safe place. Choking down his opposition he followed Rossi into the typical sparsely furnished office.

The meeting with the case's detectives went like every other meeting they ever had. The four men stood across the room from them regarding them with suspicion like the science of profiling was no better than sorcery. Reid was sure that it was only the presence of their captain that inspired civility.

"He's guilty!" Detective Rodriguez spat out. "We don't need the Feds to prove that."

Okay! They were barely civil.

"We still need to examine him." Rossi interrupted. Ever the peace keeper he knew exactly what to say. "You don't wanna get sued over a stupid mistake. If he's the killer then give us a chance to prove it. You got nothing to lose by waiting a few hours." Reid stared at him surprised. Was his accent kind of Bostonian? It made him sound like them which calmed down their ire.

Rossi's intervention had the desired effect and they soon found themselves outside the interrogation room looking in on Jim Patton. He was a slight unassuming man in dark slacks and a stripped blue shirt. He hunched over, head dangling over the metallic table. It bobbed up and down like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders and was determined to drag him down.

At Rossi's nod, Reid entered the room sitting across from the wary antagonistic gaze of their suspect. "Who are you?" He questioned. The steely tone revealed a successful lawyer more than familiar with his craft.

"Dr. Spencer Reid. I'm from the Behavior Analysis Unit of the FBI."

"You are too young to be handling this case. Where's Dave?"

It was time for Reid to take charge. "Mr. Patton you are accused of murdering your entire family. It is in your best interest to cooperate."

"Why would I do that?" He snarled. "I have been in here for hours. No one is out there looking for the real killer!"

"Your daughter would need you to calm down and find her killer." Knowing she was the key to breaking him Reid focused on three year old Kellie, the 'Daddy's Girl' painted above her small bed was a symbol of their strong connection. He was deeply ashamed when Jim Patton broke down and started to cry. This was going to be a long day.

xxXxx

Exhausted from the grueling session Reid stepped out of the interrogation room. He left Rossi still grilling the suspect but almost five hours later they'd come to the same conclusion. Jim Patton was no murderer; he was probably being set up by some one with a grudge that was familiar with his routine. This was no longer the jurisdiction of the BAU it was time to hand over the case back to the local detectives. He slipped into an empty stairwell. Sitting on the right bottom step he fingered his cell. The only incoming calls he'd gotten today were from Garcia chasing down leads. Morgan hadn't bothered to call and despite all the promises Reid had made to himself he was close to cracking and calling him first.

Maybe he could text. A text message was casual, right? Better than a phone call or an email where he might let something slip. If he texted he could keep things casual, light. He paused realizing he'd used up all160 characters droning on about the case. Deleting it all, he settled on simple. 'I miss you. Can't wait to come back home.' There was no immediate reply even after he'd waited ten minutes so he went back in to finish his job. Much as he wanted to he couldn't sit by the phone all day there were reports to write.

Forty seven minutes later his phone buzzed. He picked up the phone Morgan had finally texted back. Heart hammering he opened it up – Busy. Call l8tr. – that was it? He scrolled down to find more blank white space. No warmth. No angel. Nothing. He'd crafted a text like a crazy person and waited forty seven minutes for that? Aware he was falling apart he stumbled into the bathroom and made a spur of the moment decision that changed his life.

Reid pressed his phone hard against his ear. Three rings he promised himself then he would hang up. He could not take any more rejection today.

"Spencer" The genuine warmth in Alex's voice surprised him. They hadn't spoken since that terrible Sunday. Reid had wrapped himself up in Morgan after it and as long as they were together he was held in his thrall. Now with him miles away and acting like an ass, it's like Reid's fugue state was starting to lift and he found that he was still alone in sort of a relationship. Don't dance around it. You and Morgan have nothing you can't even pick up the phone and call him without an hour long debate.

"Spencer?"

He face palmed. "Ahhh, uh Alex hi"

"This is a surprise."

"I just thought of you." Reid stammered. "I…uh… I'm in Boston on a consult and I thought of you and I uh just wanted to call and say hi." It was awkward but he hang in there fumbling through the stilted conversation. "Hi!"

Confused Reid had no idea how the rest of the conversation ended. He was sure he fumbled with his words like he always did. Unable to express himself clearly, he probably hang up finally switching his phone off in defeat. Shit! That was crashing and burning. Not feeling so special he curled into the borrowed chair his eyes on the borrowed laptop. An IQ of 187 was useless in so many ways.

"Mr. Reid?" The uniformed officer that worked the reception desk called him.

"Doctor" He corrected her automatically waking up from zoning out.

Since she was standing right in front of him the eye roll was hard to miss. She probably thought he was an upstart kid trying to put on airs and not a seasoned agent.

"You have a visitor, 'Doctor.' Reid." He could practically hear the hateful quotation marks slam into place.

Reid followed the tight slim hips in dark blue to the reception. He was about to ask her what the hell was up when he caught glimpse of an old love. He still looked the same white shirt, black tie and a gray waistcoat that he made him look better than anyone else ever had.

Involuntarily Reid's hello slipped out.

"I got a little over excited." Alex approached him shifting from foot to foot. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought I'd never see you again so when you called I just moved."

"Wait you said when you said goodbye last month-" Reid chased words that were just as easy to run away. "-you said we'd talk when you came back home."

"I didn't know what else to say to you. You seemed into me then you weren't. I've never had to work hard to keep any one's attention. That sounds arrogant but it is true. You drifted away and it was such a huge blow to my ego that I tried to save face. I'm not proud of how I reacted." Police officers milled around them giving them odd looks. Alex dropped his voice. "Sorry I shouldn't have come this is hardly the most 'gay friendly' profession. When I planned it out in my head I thought it would seem cute but I can tell by your expression that I'm coming across more creepy than cute."

Astounded Reid merely stared back at him. He showed up after one phone call?

"I'm going to go." Alex muttered shamefaced before turning and walking away.

Wait" Reid chased after him pushing past the cuffed tranny kicking and screaming between two of Boston PD's finest. Catching up with him at the bottom of the stairs he rushed ahead of Alex blocking his path.

"It is not – creepy." He panted.

"Yeah?"

"My reaction time was not great but I don't think it's creepy."

"Okay" Alex smiled tentatively at him. "Do you want to have dinner and talk or something?"

"Sure"

An hour later standing at the large expanse of penthouse windows, Reid pressed his forehead on the cool glass looking down on the city. He could hear Alex turning on the lights behind him but nothing could rival the beauty of the incredible view before him. The glittery bright multicolored skyline stretched out for miles. Coupled with the uniformed doorman and private elevator Reid was slightly intimidated by this whole other level of affluence. His home in comparison was a hole in the ground and to think Alex had stayed with him, crashing on the ancient couch and taking care of him for days without complaining.

"This is um… I don't think 'nice' is the word. Do you always live like this?"

Alex came up behind him and slipped his hands around his waist. "It's not where you live; it's who you're with that counts." At the incredulous glare Reid threw over his shoulder he laughed and admitted, "It is pretty nice though."

Leaning back into his warm embrace, Reid sighed when Alex kissed behind his ear. He hadn't felt as comfortable in weeks. It felt good to relax and get off the intense emotional rollercoaster Morgan effortlessly dragged him through. Of course just thinking of him set Reid off and he so badly wanted to hear his lover's voice. He ached to talk to him, wanted to just be able to tell Morgan that he'd had a long day and that he missed him, couldn't wait to see him again. Sure he couldn't say any of those things because their relationship was more physical than emotional but suddenly standing with Alex like this felt wrong and he quickly detached himself from his arms.

"Bathroom?" Reid asked at the raised brow.

Alex showed him to a bathroom so impeccably designed he was afraid to use the towels. "Can I get you a drink?" He asked on the way out.

"No. It's fine." Reid brushed him off. "I'm not much of a drinker."

"Just the omelet then? Got it."

As soon as Alex closed the door behind him Reid perched on the claw foot tub and hit speed dial one. 'Pick up the phone, Morgan.' Reid muttered to himself. 'I need to hear your voice so I can remember why I let him go.'

He lit up when the phone connected stuttering out a "Hi".

"Hi" The female voice on the other end was perky and far too excited. The 'I' in the 'Hi' elongated in that way dim witted bimbos always did. Okay that was mean. In spite of the jealousy and rage riding him he knew enough about his best friend to know that the chance that she had a PhD was slim. Morgan had never been that picky about his conquests. They served a purpose and left the next day. Maybe the problem was Reid wasn't savvy enough to know when to go away. When she said hi again he simply hang up.

Reid alternately scrubbed at his face and run cold water over his wrists. The reflection in the mirror startled him. His face was so pale; jaw clenched, hard eyes sparkling with unshed tears. It looked like he'd aged ten years in ten minutes. Uncomfortable under his own gaze he looked away washing his hands slowly. A few deep all-consuming breaths later he planted a hopefully not too fake smile on his face and headed back out. He would have a good time tonight and forget Morgan if it killed him.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked warily.

"I will take that drink now."

The beaming smile Alex laid on him brought a small measure of comfort.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Jennycrum, Nannily, Idontdanceigrind, Marinelvr84, Combatcrazy, Guest1, Noskilz, Wolfpawn, Antigone21, Loveforpenanderek, .ink and Brandy. – Thank you! I take none of you for granted.**

**xXxEmoxXxLovexXx – Wow! Thank you. I will do what I can to review regularly so that you don't 'die'. Loved your review. Welcome to the fandom.**

**Guest2 – Thank you for wishing me luck. It helped.**

**Cacamilis – Thanks. I had a really good time at the wedding. I don't mean to be cruel to you or Reid. It just keeps happening.**

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**Amalia216 – Thank you so much for this review and the one you sent for 'Till Death'. I also agree that if Garcia gets involved too soon it might get too cutesy which I'm trying to avoid. Welcome.**

**Guest3 – I don't think 'to read or not to read' is a decision I can make for you. Personally I would love it if you kept on reading and reviewing. Morgan and Reid are not together because they don't feel right for each other at this point. Thanks for noticing the improvement in my writing. It's nice to hear.**

**Rumtreiberin1993 – Thank you for your lovely review. Do not worry about your English it seems okay to me. I can understand you just fine. Welcome.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 17**

Reid sat back down when Alex waved away his offer to help clear the dirty dishes from the candlelit table for two. He scooted down in the upholstered chair resting his neck on the comfy backrest and looked up at the sky. The big yellow moon, perfectly visible from the stone terrace seemed like it had come out just for them. Rolling the stem of the wine glass between thumb and fore finger he marveled at his relative comfort and ease. Once he'd made the decision to relax, he'd had a good time and this had ended up being one of their best dates ever. Alex at his most charming had drawn several snorts of laughter out of him over their unconventional 'breakfast for dinner' dinner.

A little numb from the alcohol he was able to check his phone without suffocating with emotion. Unconsciously noting that it was almost midnight he deleted Morgan's troubling text message and returned the phone to his pocket.

"I'm cutting you off." Alex threatened strolling back outside and taking the seat across from him.

"What no?" Reid reached for the half empty wine bottle. "I've only had two – no three glasses. I'm far from drunk."

"I know Sweetie but you are such a light weight that come morning," Alex slipped the bottle behind his back. "I don't want you to think I took advantage of you."

"Hmmm confident aren't you?" Reid leaned back, a private smile teasing his lips. The prospect of having sex with him was no longer terrifying thanks to Morgan's excellent tutelage. Ah irony!

"No. Just hopeful."

Pleasantly surprised by the flirtatious banter Reid couldn't hold back his laughter. His giggles of delight were abruptly cut off when Alex got up, cupped his chin and kissed him. After a brief hesitation Reid hummed angling his head and deepening the kiss. Unexpected pleasure slammed into him and he raised his hand, long slim fingers tangling in the black strands. Soft lips danced over his own and he rose to his feet wanting more, growling with disappointment when they were taken from him.

Alex chuckled brushing his brunette curls off his forehead. He shifted his head bringing his mouth to Reid's ear whispering. "Dance with me."

Reid took the proffered hand. "Word of caution," If he'd been sober he would not have accepted but as long as he was trying new things… "I can't really dance."

Alex set up the music player coming back with the slim multi buttoned remote in his hand. "Just follow my lead."

"Okay. I am all yours." Tipsy Reid drifted into his arms giggling when he tripped over his feet immediately. Were it not for the strong arms he would have fallen flat on his face.

At the opening bars and gravelly voice, Reid was helplessly cast back into the past. He'd always associated couples dancing at home as a symbol of happiness. His parents used to dance together when he was little. Sitting on the kitchen counter, watching as they twirled across the floor, so happy and in love was one of his favorite memories from his childhood. Then one day the dancing like the laughter tapered off until it finally stopped. For years afterward his mother would turn up the radio and dance with her imaginary husband eventually wandering alone about the house, a forlorn ghost. An unwilling witness to her pain he could only watch night after night as she waited - in her lucid and not so lucid moments - for his father to come back home.

Lost in the bittersweet memories Reid drifted closer burying his face in Alex's neck. The haunting lyrics - _'How many roads you've traveled/How many dreams you've chased/Across sand and sky and gravel/Looking for one safe place.' - _burned into his brain as if they had been written specifically for him.

That is exactly what he needed; a safe place. Turning into his mother would not be his destiny. He could spend the rest of his life waiting for Morgan to come home so to speak or he could take the love before him, freely offered. If he even thought about it for a second he knew there was no contest. Not really. Morgan was so complicated and uncommunicative. One minute he wanted Reid and the next he didnt. Weighed down by his past he might never be able to be what Reid needed. On the other hand being with Alex was easy, he was the logical choice. Pushing this debate to the back of his mind, Reid chose to live in the moment. His life was happening right now. He wasn't going to disappear into his head and miss it.

They continued to dance in the moonlight, heads close together. When Reid's annoying ringtone shattered the romantic haze, he slipped his phone out of his slacks checking the caller ID. Morgan. Of course. It's like thinking of him had conjured him like an evil villain from a fairytale. Mind made up, Reid quickly rejected the call and switched off his phone.

"Who is it?"

"Nobody" Reid murmured, stepping back into Alex's arms urging him back into rhythm.

Song after song played as they swayed. Lost in each other they traded soft kisses that got more fervent, more passionate, building the heat between them to unbearable proportions. Eventually they stumbled from the terrace to the living room to the bedroom stripping as they went. It was perfect except for the one awkward moment when Reid insisted on making love mostly in the dark. He didn't know how to explain the bruises and bite marks peppering his body. One lone lit lamp was the only witness to their coupling.

Reid shifted to his left side yet again as he battled insomnia. Alex was out cold right next to him, lying on his front, lightly snoring. The blue bed sheet draped low on his back revealing powerful shoulders and tattoos with intricate designs banding both his biceps. Delicately tracing the dark lines with one finger he wondered what the story behind them was. Alex was always so proper with his button down shirts and clean shaven preppy demeanor that the markings were a surprise. But he could wait, they had plenty of time to get to know each other better when Alex moved back to Virginia.

Thinking of home Reid couldn't believe he'd turned his phone off in a moment of impulse. As long as they were on call, all agents were required to remain in constant communication. Hotch would have his head if he found out. He got carefully out of bed and pulled on his boxers trying not to wake his lover. It would not take him long to fetch his phone from wherever he'd dropped his pants.

Several furtive searches later he finally traced his slacks to the living room. He turned on the phone with relief and was about to head back to the bedroom when it bleeped. He had a voice-mail. Going through the motions he retrieved it device pressed up to his ear.

"Don't be Hotch. Do not be Hotch!" He chanted. Worry creasing his face.

The voice that came through the line was just as bad, possibly worse. The first thing Reid noticed was how tired he sounded, the background noise fighting with his slurring voice for dominance. Morgan was in a bar. Big Surprise.

'Hi babe, guess you're busy. Oh god… I uh don't know where to start. Really wanted to talk to you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. It's 1am and I'm in an airport bar in DC with some floozie." Morgan paused for a bit. Reid sank to the couch, prickles of alarm trickling up his spine.

"The raid went bad, very bad, I lost some men, I may not have known them but they had families…friends… I was calling the shots. It's all my fault. Anyway I just wanted to say that this is how I usually react when I have a bad day – with bars and strangers - but I have you now. Sorta. I don't have to be this guy anymore. We should talk when you get back. Be safe, angel. I miss you too."

In a daze Reid found himself outside once again goose pimples covering his exposed flesh. He stared at the moon ignoring the nip in the air. It now hang low on the horizon probably shining its countenance on other lovers. How many of them were with their true loves? Or taking comfort from the nearest warm body? He didn't even know which one he was. Feeling sick he held onto the metallic railing, hands freezing from the contact. He had to get out of here. The luxurious apartment now felt like a gilded cage. With him trapped in it. He turned around startled when the doors slid open.

"Hey I woke up and you were gone." Shirtless and barefoot Alex approached him. "What are you doing out here?"

"I have to go."

"Is it work?" Alex stood in front of him resting his palms on Reid's thin waist. "You're freezing."

His look of concern shamed Reid even as he recoiled from the physical contact "Ye-yes" He stammered through the chattering of his teeth. "I have to go." He repeated.

"Okay. Okay. Come on." Alex helped him inside to find his clothes.

They said their goodbyes at the elevator while Alex punched in his keycode. "Since you won't let me drive you or even walk you downstairs, I called you a car. It's out front. I will talk to you soon. Okay sweetie?"

"Thank you" Reid nodded kissing him back. He dodged the puzzled looks thrown his way, fiddling with his tie until the steel doors slid shut.

Reentering the two room hotel suite he was sharing with Rossi, Reid was surprised to find him still awake, his robe clad back to the door, eyes glued to the flat screen TV. Disheveled and embarrassed by his wrinkled clothing Reid attempted to sneak past him.

It backfired spectacularly when Rossi muted the volume and spoke up. "Don't tell him." He cautioned simply.

At these words Reid froze mid step. He turned back to Rossi as the old black and white movie played on, unwatched by either of them. "Don't tell who what?" He frowned wondering whether preoccupied with his own thoughts he'd missed the beginning of their conversation.

"Morgan. Don't tell him." Then giving him a knowing look Rossi turned back to the TV. "Goodnight Dr. Reid."

**AN: The first song they were dancing to is 'One Safe Place' by Marc Cohn. Find it. It is amazing.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Jennycrum, Guest, Loveforpenanderek, Antigone21, Idontdanceigrind, Kisama-sama, Rumtreiberin1993, Amalia216 and Mindspsychoaddict. – Thank you! **

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**Theanonwhale – Please keep annoying your neighbors. Thank you for your review. It made me laugh.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 18**

Reid looked up from his computer to find it was past seven o'clock. The bullpen had steadily emptied over the past hour or so and with the rest of the team back from DC any minute, he wanted to head home and get some rest before he faced Morgan in the morning. He was stuffing his messenger bag with old case files when a light went on in an office upstairs. Debating for a bit he took his time shutting off his computer and clearing his desk. He slung his bag over his shoulder needlessly adjusting the strap before glancing up again. The beckoning light was still on.

Conflicted Reid headed for the stairwell, taking the stairs two at a time, his footsteps were muffled on the gray carpet as he approached the brown door. Hand in the air raised to knock, he paused for a while waiting for his racing heart to slow down. His knuckles eventually rapped on the wood echoing on the emptying floor.

"Come in."

At the response he twisted the handle and walked in. Rossi sat behind his desk typing on his computer.

"New book?" Reid asked getting him to look up from whatever absorptive material he was viewing.

"I'm just bouncing some ideas around" The gray haired gentleman asked pulling off his glasses. "It's late. What are you still doing here?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure" Rossi waved him to the black leather desk chair getting up and heading to the wall of shelves to the right side of the room. Reid perched gingerly on the seat twisting so he could see him. At a loss for words he struggled or a bit.

It had been two days since Boston. Disturbed by the revelation that Rossi knew what was going on with him and Morgan, Reid had withdrawn, strangely shamed and feeling like he had to justify his behavior to this man who was sort of a mentor to him. On the flight back he'd barely spoken. He felt boxed in by his choices and hated the fact that Rossi had witnessed the whole debacle.

"How did you know?" Reid settled on the question that had kept him up over the past few nights.

"I keep telling you people. I'm very good at my job." Rossi huffed. "I have been profiling for as long as you've been alive."

"Maybe it's time you retired again." Reid winced at the snide remark that came out of his mouth and he rushed to fix it. "Sorry. I'm under a great deal of stress."

"I understand. Drink?" Rossi questioned as he pulled out a decanter of brandy, reaching for two glasses before waiting for a reply.

Reid decided to let it slide. He didn't normally take refuge in alcohol especially given his recent exploits but he might need it for the coming conversation.

"What did you mean by I shouldn't tell him?"

"Don't make me spell it out." Rossi berated him. "We are both smart enough not to need the shelter of buffoonery. You more than me, of course."

Chastised Reid admitted, " I have to tell him."

"You will come to regret that decision." Reid shivered at the ominous tone. "Morgan doesn't trust anyone. Sure, he fakes it enough to get by but what do you think would happen if he finally let his guard down and trusted someone and they let him down?"

"But I have to tell him." Too overwrought to listen to reason Reid sunk further into the chair. "I won't be able to live with myself if I don't."

"You're young." Rossi said as he splashed brandy into two snifters. "You'll be surprised by the things you can live with when you love someone."

Reid took the glass Rossi offered him with gratitude; he cradled it in his palms swirling the liquid, deep in thought. "It's so complicated." He whispered.

"Matters of the heart always are." Rossi sat on the desk in front of him. With the lamplight beaming over his head he looked like a wise guru. "Three ex-wives later I still don't have all the answers. You should do what's best for you. My two cents: do not tell him until you've figured out what you want. It will cause more harm than good."

Reid tossed down the liquid grimacing when it burned down his throat. "Can you not tell anyone?" He pleaded. " About either of them I need time to sort out…"

"Your secret's safe with me." Rossi interrupted patting him on the shoulder. Reid was almost out the door when Rossi called him back.

"Yeah" He paused turning round.

"The hotel in Atlanta had very thin walls, that's how I knew."

Reid could still hear Rossi's dark chuckle as he raced out of the room, face aflame.

Morgan strode decisively into the BAU. He waved at several agents who were on their way out, declining their offers to go out drinking or clubbing. He needed to see Reid tonight, was determined to track him down so they could talk about the possibility of them becoming a 'we'. Rubbing his sweaty palms together he waited for the elevator to descend. He watched the blinking numbers countdown with the intensity of a man being led to the gallows, unable to believe how nervous he was.

It was just Reid, his Reid. It felt good to say it. 'His Reid'. He blew out a breath when he got on the elevator taking comfort from the fact that it would soon be over. He would ask Reid out. Reid would say yes. They would have an honest conversation and everything else would be ironed out somehow.

Morgan pushed the button and leaned against the metal railing. Looking back on that fateful day it's funny how everything came into focus. All the questions he'd been grappling with since their relationship had evolved into a physical one no longer carried the same weight. Even blind drunk, the feel of the hand with scarlet tipped nails brushing his thigh and teasing blue eyes across from him instead of brown felt wrong. Her breasts rubbing against his shoulder when he got back from the bathroom had crystallized it. Every nagging feeling he'd had since he walked into that bar had exploded into certainty that he wasn't where he should be. The realization that he wanted to be with Reid might have been a long time coming but he welcomed it when it did. The drunk-dial was unexpected but the next morning he remembered everything that he'd said and in the light of day he still stood by it.

However, the guilt as he thought of that day never really went away and he closed his eyes to ride it out. More ghosts to populate his already bleak dreams. At the loud ding he strolled out to the bullpen looking for his lover. He needed to touch Reid's skin, just lose himself in him and forget.

Turning into the large empty room, Morgan was surprised and happy to see Reid heading straight for him. "Hey" he called out. He ignored the slight hesitation in Reid's step and his tight smile as they met in the middle.

"I – uh – I"

Dread whipped at him as he watched Reid stammer. Instinctively Morgan began to back away from him, the hand he'd wrapped around the skinny neck began to detach. Something was wrong. Silently he cursed his gullibility, he'd known it was too good to last.

Fighting his natural compulsion to run, he took the cold pale hand and asked, "What's wrong?" His apprehension doubled when Reid collapsed into his arms, clinging hard to his waist with his bony arms. Morgan held on trying to soothe him, he stroked him trying to ease the slight trembling of his back. "Angel, talk to me."

"I'm okay." Reid pulled himself together and stepped out of Morgan's arms leaving him strangely bereft. "I'm just tired."

Surprised by the rapid turn around Morgan tried to just go with it. "Do you want to have dinner or drinks so we can talk?" When Reid just looked at him with sad eyes he couldn't fight his desperation. "Something? Anything? I'll even let you pick. How about that new Renaissance themed restaurant? You can preach about their lack of authenticity until they kick us out." He enticed.

"Maybe some other time. I have to go." Reid refocused on the distance far above Morgan's head blinking rapidly. Morgan's 'okay' was ripped out of him. He was surprised he could speak at all through the bitter lump in his throat. 'Tell him not to go, tell him you need him.' the voices in his head hammered at him. Years of conditioning and foolish pride held his tongue. He stood firm until Reid disappeared then he sagged to the wall. The repetitive slam of his head against it was a good excuse for the prickling tears. Closing his eyes, he breathed through the pain of rejection nails digging half moons into his palms.

Oh yeah! This is why he never put himself out there.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Idontdanceigrind, Sue1313, combatcrazy, Medeia456, Brandy, Loveforpenandderek, nannily, Wolfpawn, Jennycrum and Kisama-sama.**

**Ihili – Thank you. Welcome.**

**Virgin!**

**Chapter 19**

Bone tired, Reid trudged into the lobby of yet another hotel. Lately his life was a whirl of cases and cities and unsubs as he pushed himself to the limit tackling one vicious crime after another. He tried to fill every second of every day with busywork because if he stood still for even a heartbeat, unwanted emotions pushed to the forefront of his mind clamoring for his attention. It didn't help that he saw Morgan every time he turned around, his traitorous eyes seeking him out against his will. And when he got home Alex called like clockwork said he couldn't get to sleep until he heard Reid's voice. Problem was Reid couldn't sleep after he heard his voice.

Night after night he was up until the wee hours, the urge to confess nipping at his heels. Guilt sat on his chest suffocating him with its fiendish delight. He wasn't built for deceit and the lie he was living with ate at his soul.

Still walking long after the little group had stopped he slammed into Prentiss. "Watch it." She snapped picking up the bag she'd dropped.

"Sorry" He muttered stepping out of range.

They were all on edge having spent the last fourteen days chasing three brothers across the country. The unsubs had left destruction in their wake, raping and murdering 17 women until they'd caught up with them in Portland. The resultant shootout took all their lives as well as that of their latest victim and the strain of that loss was carved on all their faces.

"Bad news guys," JJ announced when she got back from checking them in. "They only have five available rooms."

"We'll share." Morgan grabbed the key gesturing at Reid.

"No!" Reid shrieked. Shifting with a nervous smile when everyone turned to stare at him, he rubbed at the odd tic in his forehead and tried to dial it down. "I mean I am not tired. I can head back to the station, wrap up loose ends."

"Everything's handled." Hotch replied. "Go get some sleep. We've got an early flight in the morning."

"I can't wait to go home." JJ moaned as she led them past the empty reception of the relatively high-class hotel.

"I need a shower and sleep." Prentiss jumped in. "Lots and lots of sleep."

Reid shuffled past them getting into the back of the elevator, their conversation drifting over him. Biting down on his lower lip he worried. It had been awhile since he had been alone with Morgan; it had taken careful engineering on his part to ensure that he was never on his own thus never allowing the opportunity for a personal conversation to take place. Then the Barker brothers had come along and consumed their lives. Now all the focus that had been placed on them was redirected falling smack dab on Morgan. If there was a way to get through the night without them talking or touching he didn't know it, and he got more agitated the higher they climbed.

Rossi, Prentiss and Hotch got off on the 4th floor heading straight for their beds. Reid remained silent, listening on while Morgan and JJ moved on to idly deconstructing the unsubs. Colder with ever passing floor he pulled his jacket closer around his body instinctively leaning forward into Morgan's personal space until he caught JJ staring at him.

"What?"

"Are you okay?" She asked facing forward when he nodded with a tight smile.

Reid hang back idling at the closed elevator letting them both take the lead. Reluctantly following them down the hall Reid was engrossed in the repetitive geometric pattern on the carpet. His steps matched Morgan's just five steps behind pausing when he paused. He waved when JJ said good night and out of habit they both waited until she turned the lock, the tumblers sliding into place with an audible click.

Two doors down they got to their room. Taking one last look towards the exit Reid gave in, there was no escape. Nothing left to do but walk in. His head hang low; he walked past Morgan who held the door open for him. He was careful not to brush up against him given how easily they combusted. Proximity was all his eager body needed and it began to hum in anticipation. Every time they were alone together it had been rewarded with pleasure, it was habit forming. Pavlov's dogs hadn't been half as well conditioned.

Morgan claimed the bed nearest the door removing his gun and badge and placing them on the side tables. Doing the same Reid could feel his eyes on him and he resolutely kept his head down. He placed his go bag on the bed, watching his partner do the same as they both went through their nightly rituals perfected after years of sharing rooms in strange cities.

"Toothbrush, find that toothbrush." Reid muttered under his breath. He rifled through the bag dodging several books. "Ouch!" What the hell? He picked up the three-pronged fork. How had that gotten in there?

Morgan was by his side in a flash. "What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing. Just a – uh –" Reid held up the fork. "I have no idea how or where I got it."

"Salt Lake City." Morgan elaborated when Reid stared blankly at him. "The seafood restaurant? Rossi wanted crab? You lectured us on the differences between four tined and three tined forks. It was the longest 35 minutes of my life." Morgan teased taking his hand. The big thumb brushed back and forth over Reid's heating skin. Their eyes met and held. Just like that. Combustion.

He melted when Morgan grabbed onto the back of his head, fingers twisting in the thick hair. The urgency of their kiss was one of lovers reuniting after decades…wars… death instead of the mere 19 days they'd been apart. Reid clung to him welcoming the sweeping desire. Brutal fingers desperate in their need ripped his shirt from his body, the buttons popping off to land useless on the carpet. Shoving his bag to the floor Morgan tossed him onto the bed.

This was too fast they had to talk. "Wait – wait – wait!" Reid stumbled over his words. Ineffectual they fell on deaf ears; Morgan was more intent on stripping him of his pants than listening. He gasped when he rose over him, dark and domineering. Reid felt like exactly what he was; prey under a very powerful predator.

A hot tongue swirled over his hard nipple, sucking gently before biting down hard. Reid fought to control his heart rate, pulse tripping. Needing relief he moaned pushing up with his feet to rub on the hard body. Morgan lay on him pining him to the mattress and slipped a firm thigh between his. Reid's dripping cock throbbed as he ached to be stroked, taken and devoured.

"Morgan" He whimpered when his hot breath ghosted over his neck. He craved that bite as much as he feared it. Once those teeth set into his neck they'd be no turning back. "Morgan. Stop!" He yelled.

Morgan sat up straddling him. "I'm sorry." The look of worry on his face was painful to see. "Did I hurt you? I got a little carried away but you are usually right there with me."

For a moment Reid contemplated taking this out, Morgan would never have to know. He would learn how to live with the lie, take pills so he could sleep but his essential goodness wouldn't let him. If they were ever to survive he couldn't lie to him.

"What is going on?"

"I slept with him."

"Explain" Morgan asked through gritted teeth.

"I-I-I uh had sex with Alex."

Usually Morgan had a lot of control over his emotions and by extension his facial expressions, this was not one of those times. Through subtle movements of his brow and lips, Reid could trace his progress; from worry to concern to understanding to pain and then to rage. Morgan climbed off of him in slow measured movements careful not to touch him any more than he already had before retreating to the far end of the room. Flustered by his non-response, Reid sat up tracing his steps across the floor. Desperate to fill the void he started to explain. "It was a mistake…"

"Shut up!" Reid jumped when Morgan roared. "I don't want to hear it."

Self conscious in his undress, Reid got off the bed. Torn between getting his clothes and fixing their relationship, his brain short-circuited so he just stood there in the chilly silence waiting for the axe to fall.

"Why the fuck would you tell me?"

Reid teetered back when Morgan came after him. He had never been more aware of how much bigger than him the other man was, had never been on the end of a threatening gesture. He had never feared him until this moment. Morgan's face distorted with fury was not that of his friend or his partner or his lover.

Back against the wall Reid fought not to panic. Ignoring the domestic violence statistics filling his over informed brain he said. "I don't lie to you. I never want to lie to you. I thought you'd want to know."

He sighed with relief when Morgan strode away. After much swearing most of it random some of it directed at Reid he leaned against the closed door.

"What do you want me to say?" He growled. "That it's okay? That I forgive you?"

"Yes" Reid went after him. "I want you to understand that I made a mistake. A mistake that you drove me to." Despite his high shaky voice Reid tried to hold his ground.

"So this is my fault? Huh Reid?" Morgan's voice went up several decibels. "The only thing I have done wrong is trust you."

"I called you and one of your women answered the phone." Reid tossed back. "What was I supposed to think?"

"That's it? That's the reason for your revenge fuck. A girl answers my phone and you let somebody else inside you? Look at me." Morgan snapped waiting until Reid lifted his head. "I have not touched anyone since you." He turned, hands on the back of his head before swiveling back. "How long have you been lying to me for? I may not have an eidetic memory but I can clearly remember you saying you two broke up and that he was gone." He jeered. "I don't know why I'm so surprised by this, you cheated on him with me it only makes sense, right Reid? Once a cheater."

"Rossi was right." Reid said under his breath.

"Rossi?" Morgan jumped on the name. "Rossi knows! My instructions to you were simple. Nobody was supposed to find out. You agreed to those terms. How many other people have you blabbed to? You know what genius?" He spat out. "That's it! Get out."

Reid's 'Hotch knows' defense didn't even get off the ground. He was startled to find himself facing an open door. "What?" He mouthed.

"I cannot stand to look at you anymore. Get out."

"But –" What could he say? He had nowhere to go. Morgan knew that and obviously did not care. Reid had never seen him look so distant and so forbidding. Gathering up the last vestiges of his pride he squared his shoulders and walked out.

The furious blowing of the AC instantly covered his body in goose bumps and he wrapped his arms around his thin chest suddenly aware that he stood outside his room in his boxers. Turning to head back inside he realized Morgan had slammed the door shut behind him. He'd been locked out Hammering ineffectively at the solid wood half naked was a surefire way to bring hotel security. He had to think fast.

Darting down the hall he knocked at JJ's door checking to make sure no one was coming. This was one call he didn't need Hotch getting.

"Oh God!" JJ exclaimed at the sight of him standing there in his boxers. She leaned against the doorjamb phone loosely clasped in her right hand. "Is that stupid prank war still going on?"

Reid could feel the reaction begin to set in. Teeth chattering, stomach roiling he swayed lightheaded. What had he done?

"Honey, let me call you back." JJ whispered into her phone before hanging up. Taking Reid's hand she dragged him into the room and made him sit on the bed. His compliance scared her. Usually he'd be talking a mile a minute analyzing everything. She sat next to him on the bedspread when he still didn't say anything she asked. "What happened?"

Reid deflated before her very eyes. "I lost him." He whimpered.

**It's good for everybody to hurt somebody once in a while, the things I do to people I love shouldn't be allowed.**

**Chelsea, Counting Crows.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Idontdanceigrind, Sue1313, Wolfpawn, Brandy, LoveforPenandDerek, Guest1, Guest2, Nannily, Jennycrum and Rain and Storm**

**Maryhell – I decided to go in a different direction. I hope you aren't disappointed.**

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**Virgin!**

**Chapter 20**

"Lost who?" Confused JJ held onto him when he tried to get up. "Spencer, talk to me. What happened?"

"I can't. I'm not supposed to tell."

JJ sat helplessly by as Reid raged and ranted. The emotions that he'd held onto for so long burst out of him in an endless stream of agony. She held him when he finally fell into her arms sobbing and heaving in terrifying tearless cry. There was no opportunity to quiz him about the 'You and Morgan – are you kidding me?' so she just held on and helped him ride it out. Hours later, he finally gave into the exhaustion his body was battling and he crashed, blacking out and she did too still holding him tight.

Reid climbed out of the large bed tucking the covers back around JJ. His body was still heavy as he pulled on the white hotel bathrobe, the half hour nap not enough to power it but sleep once again eluded him and he had to rise. He smiled faintly when JJ snorted and buried deeper under the pillows. It felt like a lifetime ago that he'd dreamed of them ending up together like this. Not anymore.

He picked up the photo frame that she always had with her off the bedside table. Will and Henry made funny faces at the camera, the love between them evident even through the still photograph. Reid envied her, her beautiful family and the happiness she'd found with them. He'd set out seeking that same and ended up in a tangled emotional mess not really belonging with anyone. Albert Einstein had it right; insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It was a brand new day, time for him to leave his self-imposed asylum.

Reid walked to the floor length windows and pushed the heavy curtain to the side letting in as little light as possible. Just because his exile to JJ's room had once again triggered his insomnia was no reason for him to rob her of sleep as well. His eyes gritty, he gazed out onto the city, the sun was coming up. One of too many sunrises he'd seen in the past two weeks. The windowpane was cold to the touch numbing his fingers; he inhaled, soaking up the rays gearing up for the coming war.

"Reid?"

"Hey," He responded. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Did you sleep at all?" JJ sat up the duvet bunching up at her hips. She rubbed her fist across her eyes, yawning indelicately.

Reid crossed the room and sat next to her. "I needed to think."

"That does not sound good. Listen to me," She touched his knee squeezing gently. "You are pissed off, emotional and have been up for days. Your ability to make life-changing decisions has been compromised. Wait until we get home."

"It was the best possible time." He insisted. "I had an epiphany."

"Oh! Oh!" She muttered falling back onto the plump pillows. "Who will be stepping into the line of fire? Morgan or Alex? If it's Morgan can I get to him first?"

"Stay away from him." He ordered. All JJ did was roll her eyes at the ceiling ignoring him.

"What was the epiphany, genius?" She asked.

Reid rolled over settling on his back next to her. Lost in thought again, he started when JJ's elbow jabbed his side. He spilled without thought. "I can't do this with him anymore. I gave him everything. Everything. I have nothing left." JJ flipped to her side leaning over so she could see him better. She did that thing with her face when she was trying not to cry and he had to refocus on the ceiling so he would not fall apart.

"You think it's hard to hear, try living it." Reid persevered covering up the sniffling with words. "I don't know who I am anymore. I thought I could handle it, you know, have sex with him and not get attached but I was wrong. I thought it would be enough for me but I was wrong about that too. The fleeting moments of pleasure I got did not dent the paralyzing hours of insecurity and doubt that followed it."

"Oh my god, you love him!"

"I do. But I can't make him love me and I am tired of trying. Every time I fail I feel worse about myself."

"You should talk to him."

"What? Throw myself at his feet and beg him to love me? Hell no! I will not humiliate myself even more. I'm walking away while I still can."

"Reid. Tell him."

"No" JJ's sad blue eyes were depressing Reid further. So he sat up tightening the belt so his robe didn't flip open and strolled back to the windows. The sun had climbed higher lifting most of the city from shadow. "I never want to feel like this again."

"You love him. Running from your feelings doesn't make them go away. There is no escape. Trust me I know."

Reid could see her worried expression reflected in the pane of glass behind him. "I'm sick of everyone saying that, it is condescending and rude. Yes, you all dated in high school and college and have miles more experience than I do but I'm so tired of feeling inferior, like I'm never going to catch up."

"If it helps you didn't miss much." JJ stood next to him bumping his shoulder with hers.

"Do you think I should have lied about the – uh - cheating?" Reid asked. After Rossi's insistence and Morgan's rage at finding out he felt like the only person on the planet who valued honesty. You didn't lie to people you loved, you just didn't.

"It's not that simple." She dodged. "Truth has its time and place especially in relationships. Just because you are eager for absolution doesn't necessarily mean the other person will be ready to absolve you. And Morgan really? How did you not see his extreme reaction coming? For the two of you, a deathbed confession would have been the ideal choice."

"So if Will cheated on you, you'd rather not know?"

"That better be rhetorical." JJ threatened, wrinkling her nose at him. "Honestly, I don't know. What I do know is that once I found out something would change between us, possibly forever."

Mulling over her words he hesitated before laying the source of his most secret misery before her. "He scares me."

"What? Physically?"

"Emotionally." Reid clarified. "I'm drowning in my love for him. I am scared all the time…that he'll leave me for one of his bimbos, that he will never love me back, that he'll get gunned down by a reckless unsub… The list goes on and on. In the past few months, I have read a lot of love stories, poems, lyrics and self-help books. Lots of pontificating about the virtues of being in love, no one talks about the fear. I am in love with him and I'm terrified because I can't handle it. I am not emotionally equipped to handle him. It's easier to just let go. I have to let him go."

Reid leaned into JJ's soft body when she hugged him taking solace from her comforting, unconditional friendship.

xxXxx

Sometimes the greatest courage one will ever take is a single step. A step forward to claim responsibility, a step back to weep for loss or a step aside to start anew. Reid took all those steps from JJ's door to Morgan's. He twisted the brass handle, pushing the door wide. The vague hope that the room would be empty was snuffed out. His love was waiting for him.

Morgan swung round to face him, still wearing yesterday's clothes. Unshaven, he approached Reid pausing mid-step when Reid drew back. "I am sorry." The rasp of his palm on his stubbly chin was absurdly loud in the boxy space. "I am so sorry."

"So am I." Reid said.

He hadn't counted on running into Morgan so soon, he had hoped for time to get his words exactly right but that wasn't to be. He had now and it made a strange sort of sense that their mostly detached impersonal relationship would end in this unfamiliar place. It was sort of a blessing really, for he would never have to walk past a certain bench or tree or café and remember the pain of putting their failed affair in the ground.

"I assumed you were with JJ. That's where you were right?" Morgan hid his worry with chatter. "She must hate me too. I should probably avoid her for a couple of days, she's small but she packs a wallop." Reid gave him a rigid smile his focus on his go bag and clothes that were neatly folded besides it on the bed. Morgan followed his gaze. "I got your things together."

Reid nodded walking past him to grab his bag. In unnatural silence he got his toiletries and a spare set of clothes and headed to the bathroom. Head tilted, he reveled in the hot shower, the trials of the past night – the past few months really – falling off of him.

Fully dressed, he exited the steamed up bathroom, stopping short at the sight of Morgan sitting on what was temporarily Reid's bed fiddling with his phone. "Your phone was ringing." Morgan explained. "He – he called you. He was calling you all last night as well."

Reid took it from him sending Alex a short text and tossing it back on the bed. Aware of Morgan sitting right next to him he finished packing up and was zipping up when Morgan's hand landed on his.

"I overreacted." He pleaded. "I shouldn't have kicked you out."

Scratchy from the earlier emotional outpouring Reid's voice though low in timbre, no longer shook with doubt. "It doesn't matter."

"I wish I could take it back."

"Morgan?" Their eyes met for a pain filled moment. "It doesn't matter." Reid repeated.

"You're going to stay with him, aren't you?"

"I am." The finality in Reid's tone was unmistakable.

Morgan sprung up off the bed seizing his wrist. "Don't…"

Reid flexed his hand twisting free from the firm grip. He didn't want to have to explain but couldn't help himself. "What I don't want is to be alone any more, and even when I'm with you, I'm still alone."

Morgan watched him leave.

**This is the way the world ends**

**Not with a bang but a whimper.**

**The Hollow Men, TS Elliott.**

**AN: This is the last chapter of Part One of Virgin! **At some point despite my best efforts this story basically wrote itself and this is where we ended up. So I had to break the story up into two parts. I thought about the second part being a sequel – still not sure about that. Hope this is not an unpopular decision that makes me thankful that y'all don't know where I live. I will put up the second part next week, which will get us back on track to more smutty good times between Morgan and Reid. Forgive me?


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Guest1, Sakelly, Combatcrazy, Noskilz, Wolfpawn, Medeia457, Brandy, Nannily, Sue1313, Guest2, Ihli, 12635397, Jenny crum, Pipinheart, Vampires are the Shiz Nit, Mitarose, Guest3, InMyIvoryTower, LoveforPenandDerek, Mindspsychoaddict, Jupiter8queen, Torajune28 and Kisa-sama.**

**Thank you guys for the emotional outpouring most of which was support. I'm so grateful. All my new reviewers you are welcome thank you for your support.**

**This is part two of Virgin!. I am keeping the story together because so many of you are already following so it is easier than making you get attached to a different title.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 21**

Reid checked out his reflection in the BAU bathroom mirror. He nodded in approval. He had to admit that he looked pretty dapper in the custom made tuxedo with his hair slicked back. He tugged at the silk bowtie, pulling end on end fastening it into a tight bow. The bow held firm for a bit before collapsing, the two wrinkly ends dangling from a tangled knot. He huffed in frustration ripping it from his neck.

Alex was waiting for him at the Homes for the Homeless fundraiser downtown. After the delay in Tampa they'd arrived much later than Reid had planned for thus the rushed dressing up in the bathroom. The tux had been a gift from Alex who had correctly deduced that Reid had nothing formal in his closet. He'd certainly not anticipated the amount of black tie affairs he'd have to attend as part of a couple. He tried the tie again swearing when it fell apart. It was for a good cause he reminded himself trying to contain his rage.

The clock on Reid's cellphone showed he was going to be late again. More disappointed than mad, Alex would give him the look; brow furrowed, lips pursed like a parent with a recalcitrant child. Reid hated that look but he loved that Alex could never stay mad at him. He picked up the tie and strode out the bathroom. It was late but since they'd just come back from a case maybe Morgan would help – he faltered and stopped mid stride - not Morgan. That was the one habit he'd had trouble shaking. The desire to seek Morgan out everyday with the tiniest of excuses was a constant struggle.

Reid rushed back into the bullpen hoping to catch someone that would help probably one of the older male agents. After their more successful cases like this one had been, Hotch and Rossi usually holed up in Hotch's office and had a drink. He zigzagged through the maze of desks hoping he was in luck.

"Reid?" He turned to face Emily when she called his name. "Your cab is here."

"Thank you." He said brushing past her.

"Get back here." Prentiss called. "Let me get a good look at you." The elongated O's in good were a cause for worry.

Reid could hear the distinct clip clop of Garcia's heels coming down the hall. He had to get out of here before she pinched his cheeks and made a salacious remark. At the long suggestive whistle his shoulders slumped. It was too late; she'd already seen him. He plodded back to the two women, twirling for their enjoyment as they hooted and catcalled.

"I do declare Doctor Reid, you are my hero." Emily used her Southern accent and pretended to swoon.

"Don't you mean Reid, Spencer Reid?" Garcia grabbed his label. "In the right light he could be a superhot British spy. I don't know any doctors that look this hot in a tuxedo."

"They are all the same in the dark."

"Help me!" Reid mouthed at JJ but she only chuckled dodging his outstretched arm. He jumped when one of them pinched his left cheek, not the one on his face. Shocked Reid tore out of their teasing grasp dancing away.

"Stay back." He threatened sweeping a stapler off a nearby desk to hold them off. "Can any of you help me with this before you grope me?" He held up the black silk bow tie.

"I have some ideas, Junior G-man." Garcia baited.

"I bet you do." Emily cackled next to her.

"I can do it." Reid stiffened at Morgan's deep voice, hair lifting on his arms. His panicked brown eyes met JJ's begging her to intervene. She merely shrugged and left. In disbelief he turned to face the source. Morgan leaned on the railing above staring down at him. Reid met his earnest gaze and blushed.

Since they broke up they hardly ever spoke, not about anything personal anyway. Somehow the news of their affair had spread like wildfire through their small group. Probably out of pity or love or the desire to keep the team from splintering the rest had become adept at forming a barrier between them. It was as if they were on a date with a constant rotation of chaperones. There was no opportunity for a conversation alone as they were constantly interrupted by well meaning friends much to Reid's relief. If they were short on hotel rooms JJ and Reid shared while Prentiss crashed with Morgan. It wasn't a perfect plan; there were still moments when it was awkward as hell but six months after their disastrous end they still limped on somehow. Neither of them wanted to leave the BAU so they made it work.

"I sure know how to clear a room." Morgan smiled as he came down the stairs.

Reid glanced back to find the bullpen completely empty. Prentiss and Garcia were heading out the door still laughing. "Traitors" He muttered under his breath. He turned stumbling back when he found Morgan right in from of him. This was closer than he'd been in months.

"It's okay." He excused. Morgan touching him even innocently would be a mistake. "My cab is late… I mean my cab is here. I am late. I'll just have Al-ex do it."

"Mr. Perfect to the rescue." Morgan sneered before catching himself. "Sorry that was uncalled for. Believe it or not, that was me trying not to be a dick."

Reid smiled faintly at his hangdog expression. "We just haven't hang out in a while. Our rhythms –" The inappropriate word hang out there bringing to mind a rhythm of a different kind. Reid flushed. "- are off." Power through. "Maybe we could have dinner sometime? Catch up." He offered insincerely hoping Morgan wouldn't take him up on it.

"That would be nice."

Crap.

"I'm gonna go." Reid shuffled backward. He turned slamming his knee into the side of a solid wood desk. Wincing he swallowed the yell of pain and struggled not to limp on his way out.

xxXxx

Reid pressed a kiss between Alex's shoulder blades before rolling to his feet. He felt incredible refreshed despite the late night and he walked over to the large windows and pulled open the heavy cream curtains chuckling when Alex grumbled and pulled the pillow over his head. Light and fresh air streamed into the stuffy room as he leaned out onto the sill letting the early morning rays hit his face. In a matter of months Sunday had become Reid's favorite day.

He always stayed over at Alex's on Saturday night. The big country house in the suburbs was incredibly rustic and homey despite the high ceiling and modern appliances. It sat on several acres ensuring plenty of privacy; the neighbors were a distance away in their own mansions with their own lives. He breathed in deeply one more time before starting his routine.

The routine had fallen into place by accident the first Sunday he'd stayed over. He'd woken before his lover, brushed his teeth and made them both breakfast following JJ's recipe to the letter. The last time he'd cooked for Morgan it had been a disaster so he was extra careful this time. It had been important that they start out just right. As ridiculous as it was to blame the fiasco of his relationship with Morgan on a botched meal he couldn't help himself. Maybe it had been a sign of some sort.

Alex had come down while he cooked, helping Reid finish up. They'd fed each other, after which they showered together and spent the rest of the morning on the porch swing. Alex read the paper and Reid watched him read while they swung lazily back and forth. They took a drive into town for lunch strolling hand in hand through the streets afterwards. Reid pretending to pay attention while his lover told him the history of each building. Really his only focus was on Alex's warm hand holding his. The rest of the day was a pleasant blur. By the time they'd fallen into bed late that night, Reid realized that he'd had a perfect day – no fuss, no drama - and he sought to recreate it every Sunday after that.

This particular morning Reid flew down the stairs in his boxers and white vest humming as he went. He was excited to try out the new recipe he gotten off the Internet, the fresh ingredients would be delivered any second. The clang of a dropped pan stopped him in his tracks on the bottom step. Someone was in the house. It was not Alex who was still an immovable lump in their bed upstairs.

Sneaking back up the stairs then bursting into their room, Reid locked the door behind him and shook Alex awake.

"You have a break in."

"What?" Alex sat up squinting at him.

"Burglars, thieves, robbers…" He clarified. "3,600,000 home invasions occurred in the United States annually between 1994 and 2000." Reid said diving into the closet to find his overnight bag.

"Wait" Alex yelled. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting my gun." Reid hissed back. "Keep your voice down."

"Stop" Alex grabbed him as he run past gun waving in the air. He flipped him onto his back on the bed rolling on top of Reid.

"What?"

"Sweetie, I love you but we are going to have a problem if you shoot my parents."

"Your parents?" Reid squeaked. "What…why?"

"They wanna meet you."

Reid recoiled. Meeting the parents reeked of permanence. Not to mention that fact that it was soon, so very soon. He'd met Alex's sister Kara over Skype but that wasn't the same. Plus he was a little resentful of them for interfering with his routine.

"I can tell by the absolute terror on your face that you'd rather not meet them."

"This is a little sudden."

"I told you they were coming two weeks ago, then 3 days ago."

"I thought you were just sharing information."

"I meant that I wanted you to meet. How did you not get that? That's irrelevant." He huffed. "They are here now and I want you to meet them."

"Both of them?"

"No just one. You can meet the other one at Thanksgiving." Alex mocked. "Yes of course both of them."

"But I – I –" Reid spluttered searching for excuses.

"Need time." They finished in unison. It was a huge commitment Reid didn't know if he was ready.

"You don't have to worry they already love you."

"How can they?" Reid scoffed. "They don't even know me."

"They know that I love you that's all they care about."

Reid wriggled out from under his lover and sat at the edge of the bed laying his off duty weapon on the bedside table. His mind grappled with the explosive news. He couldn't meet Alex's parents he wouldn't know what to say or do, he'd never met anyone's parents before but then he'd never had a boyfriend before but he knew that it was a big deal. A huge step forward. He didn't know if he was ready for so much even as he secretly berated himself for his cowardice. This is exactly what he had wanted, to belong with someone and that meant family and friends and colleagues. The more he thought about it the more panicked he got.

Alex sat next to him rubbing his back in soothing circles. "It's okay." He reassured "You don't have to meet them right now. They fly out next Friday so we have some time."

"Thank you." Grateful for the reprieve Reid showered him with kisses before rushing off to find the rest of his clothes. "Can you distract them while I sneak out?" He called over his shoulder.

"Anything for you."

Reid was so intent on his escape that he missed his boyfriend's sad reply.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Welcome back you guys.**

**Morgan supporters - Jenny crum, Medeia456, Nanniliy, LoveforPenandDerek, Noskilz, InMyIvoryTower, DippedInInk, Cacamilis, and May (I'm so sorry about your laptop, my dear. Totally crying with you).**

**Alex supporters – Sue1313, Combatcrazy and Pipinheart.**

**The undecided – Wolfpawn and IdontdanceIgrind.**

**I know some of you are upset that Morgan and Reid aren't together yet but I can assure you they will get together very soon. I do not like to give away plotlines and can only hope that in the meantime you are entertained enough to keep you from jumping ship.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 22**

Morgan flung the limp white arm off his chest and rolled off the unmade bed. He swayed when he got to his feet, the aftereffects of the late night binge drinking mingling nausea with shame. The unfamiliar bedroom was just beginning to fill with the early morning light and he stumbled around trying to find his clothes in the semi dark.

The stranger rolled over seductively arching his back. "Come back to bed." He begged.

Morgan searched the room faster at the hoarse plea finally spotting his jeans on the messy floor. "I gotta go, I'm late." He bent over pulling at the dark material that had stuck on something under the bed.

"Will I see you again?" Morgan shuddered as knowing fingers traced down his spine.

"No" He said rudely. Somehow he managed to get dressed despite the mix of accusations, insults and promises that were flung at him. Tearing out of there he raced out side to find his ride.

A frantic search of his pockets when he reached his car yielded nothing. "Fuck!" His keys must have fallen out some point last night but there was no way in hell he was going back up there.

Kneeling in the dirt he reached underneath the step bumper for the spare key he had taped there weeks ago. After a wild night of ill-advised skinny-dipping with some guy whose name and face he no longer remembered he had lost them in a Jacuzzi. He'd had ample time the next day to berate himself on his walk of shame home, which was especially humiliating on a Sunday morning when families were heading to church. At that point instead of slowing the partying down he hid a spare key under his car further feeding his self-destructive behavior. He made the same promise that morning that he did today. No more drinking and partying and definitely no more fucking the slew of boy toys with haunted eyes that bowed to his will.

After a half hour at home spent punishing himself in the ice cold shower he drove into work parking at his usual spot dreading the sight of Reid that he had to endure day after day.

It was Wednesday. He checked his phone to be sure. Yes, Wednesday. Hotch and Rossi always invited him for poker night and like clockwork he declined. The way they examined with curiosity and pity was unsettling and it was easier to avoid their company than put up with it. Today he would accept their invitation the self-destructive behavior had to stop.

For a moment he rested his head on the supple leather of the steering wheel and closed his eyes. His bitch of a hangover was just starting to manifest. The night came to him in a carnal blur of limbs and tongues; the urgent lust with which he'd dragged that guy home had slaked long before morning. It started the same way almost every night, the promise that he'd leave after one drink. Then they caught his attention with one little detail; their hazel eyes, long necks, a slim back or the same laugh. In his drunken state they were close enough to pass but come morning all that was left was regret and a fucking hangover.

Morgan stumbled out of his SUV ducking just as Reid drove past with his boyfriend who was dropping him off at precisely 8 o'clock like he did every single day. The long lingering kiss stirred Morgan's ire and after the first time he witnessed it he timed it carefully so he never had to see them.

Somehow he'd forgotten and this was his punishment. Irritated with himself, Reid and the world he turned bumping into a soft flower scented cushion.

Fuckfuckfuck! "Don't say it, Garcia." He warned brushing past her.

"It's been six months. Six whole months, personally I didn't think you'd last six days." She hurried after him. "Thanks for losing me the pool by the way."

"You are betting on this."

"Consider it payback for all those months you lied to me."

"I couldn't talk about it. I still don't want to talk about him so drop it. Okay?" He thought of taking the stairs so he could shake her but his pounding head wouldn't let him. It was going to be a long fucking day.

"One last question?" She begged. "Then I will shut it down I promise."

Exasperated Morgan swung around. "What?"

"How long are you going to wait to get him back?"

"He's happy."

"You are not."

"As long as he's happy I can manage. I always have."

"So?" She cocked a hip, a hot pink nail taping her matching lips. "By manage you mean the drunken hookups that look enough like him in the dark to take the edge off?"

Morgan froze. Usually he picked his random lovers up at the gay bar across town where no one knew him but last night he'd slipped when they'd all gone clubbing. Foolishly he'd hoped everyone had been too drunk to notice. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"You are not as slick as you think you are." Fuckfuckfuck! "I saw you leave with that tall skinny brunette last night."

"Baby girl, please. Please just leave it alone." He stormed off.

"What if they get married?" She called.

"That's two questions." Morgan swiped his card in the lobby heading for the wall of elevators, Garcia right on his heels. "They won't get married. It is a phase, like all relationships, it will end."

"That's your plan? Hope Reid gets dumped and you swoop in there. I'm a little disappointed."

"I do not have a plan. NO PLAN." He stabbed at the up button like that would make it move faster. "What I have is work, which I need to get to right now."

"Alex asked JJ about rings."

"When?" He spun to face her only to meet her cheeky grin. "Dammit Garcia, that didn't happen did it?"

"It could have happened."

"Except it didn't. Why are you actively trying to drive me nuts? I have apologized a million times for not telling you." Morgan jumped into the elevator car when it arrived. He exhaled determined to ignore her. At the last second a hand stopped the doors from closing and he looked up exasperated at the delay until Reid hopped on. He uttered a shy good morning from lips still rosy from his morning's activities before retreating to a corner. With Garcia at the other end Morgan felt trapped.

He angled his body so he could not see Garcia gesturing at him and not bump into Reid at the same time. The same Reid who was staring intently at the blinking floor lights taking shallow breaths probably as desperate to get out of the narrow space as he was.

Garcia hummed before leaning over to check them both out. "My god, this is awkward." She said. "Is it always this awkward? Remember when you used to be the bestest of friends. Of course I found out later that that's when you two were knocking boots. No one told me."

Morgan turned glaring at her. "You are not helping." He snapped under his breath. Reid edged further away from him. His eyes darted about probably looking for an escape route.

"You are grumpy today." Garcia made a face at him. "What's the matter handsome? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?"

A sharp pain slashed through Morgan's chest at her words. This is what a heart attack must feel like but before he died he was taking Garcia with him. He stumbled back finding a prime position in which to strangle her for when the doors opened.

She merely glanced back at him and shrugged ignoring his irritated expression. Sidling up to Reid she bumped him with a well-padded hip. "Reid? Would you like to have lunch?"

"Um…" Reid threw him a deer in headlights look. "Su-re."

"Great." Garcia beamed at him when the doors slid open. "Morgan's free. You two have fun and bring me back a small salad. I don't want to ruin my diet." Then she darted off leaving behind two shell-shocked occupants.

Cursing her very existence Morgan turned to a stunned Reid as the doors slid shut trapping them inside. "We don't have to have lunch..."

"It's okay."

Morgan faced forward again. He should push a button or something. "Okay." He said. "1 o'clock is good for me. You?"

"1 is okay."

"Okay." Morgan echoed, the worlds' most awkward lunch coming right up. When he escaped the elevator he went after Garcia.

Bursting into her office he snarled. "What was that? I told you to leave it alone."

"Like I listen to you." She tossed back flippantly before swinging round on her chair. She scrutinized him from head to foot then leaned back with a small smug smile. "Don't tell me you're not dancing on the inside right now?"

"I'm dancing so hard on the inside I may throw up on you." His bad mood deflated. "Please just let it go. He left, okay? It was hard enough the first time. I don't want to go through it again."

Garcia at least had the grace to look ashamed. "I am sorry. I will not bring it up again." She picked at her nails. "I didn't mean to hurt you I just hate that you're sad."

"I know."

She perked up at his forgiveness. Morgan groaned and headed for the door when the crazy twinkle popped back in her eye. "I scored you a lunch." She yelled. "Don't waste it."

Morgan spent all morning trying to lose himself in cold cases, he briefly thought of going to take his frustrations out at the gun range but he didn't want to leave the building. Garcia's words beckoned, hope and all her treachery weaving possibilities and dreams. He paused more than once to remind himself that this is exactly why he hadn't told her about his relationship with Reid. She believed in happily ever after, he didn't. Life did not work like that; all it did was gobble up dreamers.

"The meek shall inherit the earth, my ass!" He muttered digging through his cabinets.

By the time the soft knock came at the door he had worked up into quite a state. "Come in." He yelled still muttering softly.

"I'm I early?" Reid peered at the clock over Morgan's head.

"No. No. You're right on time." Morgan reassured him. "I got distracted."

"You want to cancel, or postpone?"

Morgan ignored the hope in Reid's wide eyes and grabbed his leather jacket. "I'm ready. Let's go."

The journey out the building was awkward for both of them. Crestfallen Reid marched beside him keeping plenty of distance between them, convicts making the green mile were a lot happier than he was. Morgan struggled for something to put him at ease but was at a loss for what to say so they took refuge in silence.

Reid craned his neck looking back as Morgan drove past their favorite restaurant. "Why don't we go there?" He asked.

"Do you want human DNA with your Moo Shu?"

"It has been months." Reid referred to their fight that exploded inside that very restaurant. "Maybe she has forgotten."

"Do you know any women? Or their ability to keep grudges?" Morgan shot him an incredulous look. "You tried to disembowel her with a menu. I guarantee you she has not forgotten."

Reid sank back into his seat and let Morgan drive. He resolutely kept facing out the window, left alone his eyes like his thoughts tended to wander to his fantasies. But he'd come to this lunch armed with good intentions, he missed his best friend and he wanted him back. So much was happening in his life that he needed to tell Morgan. Except he couldn't because of their stupid history and it hurt.

They eventually settled on a diner that neither of them had been to. It had a casual atmosphere, that locals that filed in for lunch were a noisy crowd and they were sat in a booth next to large windows that opened up to the sidewalk that had a lot of foot traffic. It was perfect. Neither of them would find a meal there even vaguely romantic.

Small talk about work and their team helped ease them into less tense friendlier territory and Reid started to relax. An old chubby waitress took their order without as much as a wink in Morgan's direction making this miles better than their last dining experience. The food arrived on time and they both dug in. Morgan teased him about eating rabbit food and Reid mocked his steak. It was nice. Sitting there with Morgan was nice.

"He wants me to meet his parents." Reid blurted out. Obviously he had gotten too relaxed. It had been almost like old times when they'd been just friends until he ruined it. "Forget I said anything."

Morgan looked at Reid's stricken face, as his fork banged against the ceramic plate. Parents. Crap. Parents led to engagements, which led to marriages. Damn Garcia. He needed to know how much time he had. To do what, he chided himself. He had no plan. "Do you want to meet them?" He asked reluctantly.

"You don't have to listen to this."

"Just…out with it."

"I don't want to meet them but I think I should." Reid sipped at his coffee. "I'm not good with new people. What if they hate me?"

Morgan wanted to ask him why he bothered if things were that hard then it made sense to walk away. Walking away was what he'd always done and he'd ended up here so it was obviously terrible advice.

"Just be yourself. They will love you."

Reid nodded. "Now give me your real answer."

"Your first impression is not great." Morgan hesitated when Reid's face fell.

"Continue" Reid insisted. "I asked because you always tell me the truth."

"They are his parents. First impressions are important especially if you are going to be in each others lives forever or for a little while." Even as Morgan began to tick them off on his fingers he wondered why he was helping Reid advance his relationship. Maybe because he couldn't bear to hurt him more than he already had. "If you can manage a handshake, then do it. If you can't then let him warn them in advance so you can avoid the weird pause. Do not wave at them like a crazy person. Take an interest in their lives. Do not bring up religion or politics."

"I feel like I should be taking notes."

"You're smart." Morgan dismissed. "You'll remember."

Reid picked at his salad ignoring the dig at his intelligence.

"Smile." Morgan continued his lecture. "Not like that." He said when Reid bared his teeth at him.

"That is my normal smile." Reid defended massaging his cheeks, which did feel a little strained. He looked up catching Morgan staring at him. Yanking his hands from his face he tucked them under the table. "What?" He demanded starting to squirm.

"Coffee ice cream"

Subconsciously Reid felt his cheeks lift into a radiant smile.

"Smile like that." Morgan dipped his fry in HP sauce and used it to point at him. "Exactly like that. Look at them like they are your two favorite things on earth; Mama Caffeine and Papa Sugar" He popped the coated French fry into his mouth and licked the dark residue off his index finger.

Reid smiled faintly at his joke, his eyes glued to the digit dipping into Morgan's mouth. He leaned forward at the hypnotic pink swipe of his tongue.

"Reid?"

He jerked when Morgan called his name meeting his amused gaze with shame. Absolutely mortified that he was caught ogling him Reid jerked to his feet aborting the plan halfway when he realized he would flash his considerable bulge to the entire restaurant. "I – uh I-I-" He stammered plopping back to his seat. On the way down he knocked over his cup, the precious coffee dregs spreading across the hard wood and dripping to the floor. God, he hadn't been this unnerved in months. "Ah!" He groaned frustrated. These feelings should have passed; he had tried so hard to move on.

Reid could hear the object of his ridiculous obsession snickering. "You're an ass." He snapped.

"I know." Morgan passed him the napkins, Reid reached for them and tugged surprised to be meeting resistance he glanced up. The dejected look on Morgan's face was unexpected. "Isn't that why you left me?"

Leaning back Reid dropped the paper napkins and they fell useless to his plate. He hadn't prepared for this, hadn't thought about them in detail since they broke up. The thought of facing who he had been, needy and desperate terrified him. Especially since with one gesture from Morgan he could forget everything and just go back to him, easily, happily. He thought of Alex, bringing him to mind like a believer would a cross to a vampire but for the life of him couldn't remember his face. Not even one tiny detail. Larger than life Morgan obliterated all traces of his boyfriend, until the name also meaningless was cast away.

The loud buzzing of Morgan's cellphone matched the phone in his coat pocket. He didn't need to check to know that they had a case. With relief he got up and sped out of the diner leaving Morgan to clear their bill.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**I am sorry for the delay in updating but my life is crazy right now. I have even less time than usual to write. Thank you for your patience and your lovely words even though you have all basically abandoned Camp Alex.**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 23**

_Now_

Reid leaned back. Every movement of his head sent a spike right through his brain tipping him back towards an unconscious state. Fighting to stay awake he opened his eyes, blinking as he was met by pitch black. He lowered his lids and raised them again and again hoping for some relief from the all-encompassing darkness. No such luck. His heart began to pound in his chest, fear surfacing with each heaving breath.

A thick viscous liquid skirted through his hair follicles sliding down his ear. He tried to lift his hand to brush it away but found that both wrists were bound tightly behind his back. Chill, from contact with the bare floor rose through his cotton trousers straight to his butt cheeks that were freezing cold. He must have been trapped there awhile. Trussed up like a Christmas goose, his knobby knees were pressed up against his chest increasing his discomfort. The more he wriggled the tighter his bindings became until he gasped for air.

Groaning through dry cracked lips, he attempted to clear his head. Panic wasn't going to get him out of this harrowing situation. "Focus" He wheezed for the second time that day. He had to be smart if he was to get out alive. "Focus"

The last thing he remembered was leaving the station with Officer Bennett to check out the latest victim's home. Nathan Hubbard and his 10-year-old son, Matthew had been missing for the past 6 days. The cops had cleared the mansion as a crime scene days ago since there were no signs of foul play. The Hubbard men had been there one day and gone the next.

A hunch had made Reid leave the rest of the team and head back to the house. Hotch had let him go, both of them sure it was just a routine check up. Nothing was supposed to have gone wrong. The bump on the back of his head begged to differ.

xxXxx

_22 hours earlier, FBI Jet._

Reid shifted in his seat resting his elbow on the armrest and holding onto the brown file in his lap. His sneakered foot brushed Morgan's boots and he jerked them away tucking both feet as far away as he could underneath his chair. He glanced up hoping the subtle movement had gone unnoticed. Hotch's raised eyebrow and Rossi's smirking shot that to bits. Picking at his nails he studied the distance between Morgan's thigh and his. When he had fled the diner earlier he had hoped to get a reprieve from Morgan's presence. But right now the incredibly roomy jet felt cramped especially since they had to sit close for the briefing.

Reid ducked his head flipping through the file again. He had it memorized the first time but none of the information registered as much as the exact distance of Morgan's knee to his own.

"Focus" He mouthed trying to follow Hotch's measured cadences.

"He's pushing them, he wants to know at what point they will break from grief."

"I don't understand." Garcia's tinny voice sounded completely puzzled even from a great distance.

"What would you do if at the end of every month someone you loved died?" Hotch paused letting that horrifying bit of information sink in. "If month after month like clockwork they died from seemingly random events?"

"Oh God!" She echoed from the laptop speakers. "He's trying to drive them nuts by killing off their families."

"Not just that." Morgan rumbled next to Reid. "These are quintessential macho men who have looked death in the eye and not flinched."

Rossi looked up from his notebook expounding. "The last victim, Lieutenant Mark White was a decorated officer who survived the first and second Gulf war. He survived Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan. January 31st 2012, he gets a call; his father suddenly slipped into a coma and died. That's easy to explain he was old, old people die all the time. Then February 29th his sister dies in a hit and run, the perpetrator was never found. March 31st his closest friend is gunned down in a drive by shooting."

"No two murders are the same." Morgan interrupted. "They could be easily interpreted as just bad luck. Random acts of God even."

"Yes except for the timing." Rossi continued. "April 30th his brother Luke, the family black sheep OD's on a tainted batch of cocaine. Can you imagine the kind of fear and desperation he must have felt the closer he got to May 30th?"

"Well, sending his wife and kids away didn't help." JJ laid out the color photographs of 29 yr. old Julia White and her 5-year-old twin daughters, Madison and Karen. "There was a gas leak at her sister's cottage in Montauk. It wiped out the rest of the family."

"And on June 1st, after receiving the news of their death, Mark White ate his gun." Rossi placed the photo of a smiling Mark White in his dress blues on top of the pile. "This was taken late January just before his father died. To go from that –" He placed the coroners photo on top. "To this in the space of months, is unthinkable."

For a moment profound feelings of disquiet rocked the cabin. The six occupants dwelled on their own families and how much loss would make them break.

"This unsub has so far claimed 37 victims over the course of four years." Prentiss broke the silence reading from the chart. "Of all ages, races, creeds…he doesn't discriminate. How did he go unnoticed for long?"

"He crisscrossed the country, jumping from state to state, tracking down his victims before he struck." JJ explained. "Connecting a mugging gone wrong in Sacramento to an electrocution in Des Moines to the same killer is virtually impossible. It only came to our attention through a death conspiracy blogger."

"And it was easy to get confused because there were so many victims however when we narrowed it down we discovered that the fathers were the primary targets." Hotch circled their names on a piece of paper holding it up. "So far there have been 6 main victims. Everybody else was related to those 6. Their deaths were a mere means to an end."

"The loss of an entire family in a short span of time is extremely rare." Rossi droned on. "Something similar must have happened to him at a young age but he survived. Maybe he's looking for a partner somebody who survives as well? Proving that he is just as strong as the unsub was?"

"He's lonely?"

Reid only half listened his knuckles whitening as he clenched his fists tight. His nails formed half moon shells in his palms. This was his worst nightmare, everybody he knew and loved dying and leaving him all alone. He itched to call the sanitarium even if his mother was in the middle of one of her episodes, her disjointed speech would be reassuring.

_You're not alone._ _You're not alone._

Reid knew he had people. As estranged as he was from his father, there was a certain comfort in knowing that he was out there somewhere, that as long as he lived Reid wasn't completely alone. He had Alex and everybody on this plane. His eyes touched on each of his teammates. Hotch and Rossi were amazing father figures. Emily, Penelope and JJ were his three big sisters who teased him and drove him insane but they were always there for him, no matter what. Then there was Morgan. _Morgan_. Reid's heart stuttered to a stop at the thought of anything happening to him.

In an attempt to drive out the dark thoughts, Reid shook his head pressing his palms to his eyes.

"Reid?"

"Yeah?" Reid straightened up finding everybody's eyes on him.

"Do you have anything else to add?"

"No" He uttered swallowing with great difficulty. Ignoring their concerned looks, he shoved to his feet and went to the kitchenette in the front. With his back to them, he closed his eyes and tried to breathe, leaning weakly on the counter.

After ten years at the BAU, he never got used to the atrocities one human being could visit on another and for the most part he numbed himself to their victims pain and fears. The last thing he expected was to face the one unsub that was tailored specifically for him.

A hand brushed his lower back and he jumped.

"Easy" Morgan whispered keeping an eye on their teammates who were all pretending not to watch them and failing. "Are you okay?"

Reid nodded jerkily his hair falling into his face as Morgan came round and took down one of the coffee mugs.

Heaped teaspoons added sugar to the steaming hot coffee, the stirring circling the white froth, hypnotic. "Please be careful." Reid mumbled his hand lifting of its own accord and wrapping around the stirring wrist.

Morgan stilled, the dark liquid splashing to the counter. He searched Reid's pale face, unashamed by the warmth he felt by the revelation that Reid was obviously worried about him. He still cared.

"I don't fit the profile."

"Yes you do."

"Only part of it."

"The crazy macho risk taking…"

"My mum and sisters are fine." He pacified pressing the large mug into Reid's cold hands. "You are fine." Morgan whispered wrapping his big hands around Reid's. "So stop worrying."

"Promise?"

Morgan had forgotten how dogged Reid could be when he got his teeth into something. "I promise."

xxXxx

_Now_

Reid hissed in pain wrenching his shoulder as he repeatedly tugged at his restraints. The metal cuffs jangled in the dark but didn't give. Exploring delicately with his fingertips he traced the thick rusty pipes of what felt like an old-fashioned radiator. He collapsed back; weary with defeat, struggling to breathe in the hot muggy room. Sweat mingled with blood coating his brow. The thick rope that bound his ankles to his thighs, dug into flesh that had long since gone numb. The tiny square room had a minute sliver of light streaming under the closed door. Reid squinted, without his glasses he could barely see two feet in front of him.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." He mumbled sagging against the radiator.

Of course this happened to him, his concern had all been focused on Morgan when he should have been worrying about himself. Now he needed rescuing. Again. Frustrated he tugged at the cuffs, the noise they made against the metal rods filling the small room but he didn't care about alerting the unsub. Anything was better than sitting here in the dark waiting to die.

Suddenly he heard a heavy tread above him. Wooden floorboards squeaked and dust filled the air. Reid tried to hold his breath even as a sneeze escaped. The footsteps got fainter then much louder as they approached his side. With a loud smash, the door burst inward. Reid recoiled from the bright glare unable to form out individual features from the shadow of pure evil that stood in the doorway.

Pain screamed through his body, as he was roughly untied from the radiator. Red-hot flames rushing down his legs as blood refilled his numb limbs. He could barely think through the agony as he was hauled from the room, dragged up the stairs and dropped at the feet of Nathan Hubbard. The missing victim looked worse for wear, bloodied and bruised he held the unnaturally still form of his son in his arms.

Reid struggled to his knees spotting Officer Bennett who was propped up near the dilapidated fireplace; a single gunshot wound seeping from his skull.

The unsub kicked Reid, dropping him back to the floor. "I'll give you one chance to try and save him." He growled.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Jennycrum, Wolfpawn, Medeia456, Combatcarzy, Nannily, Sue1313, Irishgirl9, Idontdanceigrind, InMyIvoryTower, Sweetteetwo, DippedInInk. – Hope this doesn't disappoint.**

**Doidazzleu11, Reelingthoughts, Omgnotagain and Kawaiistrawberrylove. –Thank you for reviewing. Welcome.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 24**

Reid grimaced as his hands hit the floorboards, a sharp wooden sliver tearing into his palm. He crouched at an uncomfortable angle. his legs still aching from the bondage rope. Looking around he tried to find to clues to use to get inside the unsub's head. Apart from his insatiable need to witness another's pain and grief they knew virtually nothing about him. Save him, he had said. _Save him_.

Nathan Hubbard still rocked his son ignoring the power play between them. Reid crawled forward to check the child's pulse but he was knocked back to the floor. A heavy kick to his middle tossed him onto his side. The unsub limped towards him dragging his left foot. Reid blinked scuttling back; he rubbed the blood off his face into a wet crimson smear, getting the first clear look of the tall heavily bearded man. An abundance of facial hair shielded most of his features; the massive paw holding onto his side was also covered in hair, hair dripping with blood. Officer Bennett must have gotten a shot off before he got killed.

Reid tried to dodge his grip as the bloody fist grabbed onto his shirt collar and he was dragged to his feet. Jagged nails dug into his skin as the meaty fist wrapped around his neck.

"One chance." The unsub yelled shaking him. "You and Nate can leave, walk out of the door scot free, but only if the boy stays." Then he was flung him at the sobbing mess that was Nathan Hubbard. "And don't get smart, doctor. I have no use for you, don't make me kill you."

Reid scrambled to his feet as the heavy tread disappeared out of the room. He spun around surprised to find that the unsub had actually left them alone. It was a trick, it had to be. Either way if there was a chance to get out he had to take it while he could. Keeping an eye on the open doorway, Reid slowly approached the curled up man. When Reid reached out his hand, Nathan scrambled back pressing harder into the wall, holding tighter onto his son.

"Mr. Hubbard? Nathan?"

"I'm not leaving him." The man yelled. "I am not leaving him."

"Okay" Reid appeased taking a step back. "Of course not. Let me just look at his injuries." With no further objections, Reid picked up the boy's wrist. The cold flesh was lifeless beneath his; Reid knelt in front of them checking for a pulse that he knew he wouldn't find. Matthew had been dead for a while. Nathan resumed his rocking and murmuring.

"Nathan?"

"No." Nathan grabbed onto Reid hand and pulled it off of his son's wrist. When he spoke he voice was clear, certain. "I am staying with him."

"He will kill you."

"There's nothing left for me out there, no one." He looked up determined, tucking his boy closer to his chest. "You should go while you can."

Reid wanted nothing more than to tear out of there and leave this nightmare behind but it went against everything he believed in, as an agent and as a person. "I can't leave you behind."

"Then you will burn."

"Burn?"

Nathan let out a maniacal cackle. "That's his plan, to go out in a blaze of glory like some super villain." The mirthless laughter broke off into a choked sob. "I failed you, Matt." He stroked the boy's hair. "Daddy's so so sorry. I will not leave you alone to burn with that psycho. I will never leave you alone again."

Averting his eyes from the terribly intimate goodbye, Reid searched for a solution. "There has to be a way we could all get out of here." Reid stood up peeping out of the boarded up windows. There was nothing but dirt and rocks stretching out as far as the eye could see. It provided a clear view all the way to the horizon, not even a tree to provide an adequate hiding spot. Odds were the unsub could gun them down without even leaving the front porch but he had to try.

"No. I want to stay here with my son." Resigned, Nathan touched his forehead to Matthew's. "They are all gone. All of them, one after another after…it's just the two of us."

Reid spun around willing himself not to cry, maybe if he found a weapon but the room was bare of all but wood shavings and years of dust. His will collapsed under him leaving him shaking. He couldn't leave him.

"So?" A voice boomed behind them sending Reid scrambling. The unsub stood just inside the room with all the poise of a demented butler. "Who will be staying behind to take my dark little journey with me? I hear hell is nice this time of year." He wheezed laughing at his own joke.

Reid stepped between the maniac and Nathan in a bid to protect him but the latter shoved him aside.

"Go." Reid met his pleading look. Freedom beckoned, trilling a sweet siren song. Confused he turned round prepared to beg, bribe, anything for their lives and found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Dr. Reid? I am not a patient man and you are ruining my going away party. So I will count to three." He cocked the gun. "One…"

Reid found himself outside the door. He had no clear memory of walking out, his feet rising of their own accord, one after another leading him away from the dilapidated cabin. The blast that leveled the area sent him flying as the heat from the blaze scorched his back. The emergency response team that stormed the area found him in a crumpled heap safely away from the raging inferno.

xxXxx

Morgan ripped off his earphones dropping them beside his iPod on the empty seat next to him. He had tried all genres from rap to jazz but nothing was helping tonight. After spending a day chasing the unsub that was basically a ghost, they'd found out too late that Reid was in trouble. He was supposed to have been safe at the abandoned house. Irrationally Morgan blamed himself, he should have known that Reid was in trouble. If things hadn't been so strained between them recently he would have called to check up on him.

Rubbing at his gritty eyes Morgan peered out into the dimly lit interior of the BAU jet.

Rossi sat closer to the front trying to read under the only lit lamp. Hotch slouched next to him with his eyes closed. The girls sat across from them both. Silent, JJ fiddled with her phone, Emily doing the same. All of them little islands of misery scattered around the plane.

He didn't need to turn to know exactly where Reid was. They hadn't spoken since Reid woke up at the back of the ambulance refusing to go to the hospital. Hotch had only been able to talk him into letting the paramedics stitch him up while Morgan hovered in the background feeling completely helpless. He focused on his face as if he would disappear if he blinked. He still felt that way, like he'd lost him.

Unable to stay away any longer, Morgan got up, invisible forces pushing him to the back of the plane where Reid sat isolated in the semi dark. As he took the seat next to him, Reid barely acknowledged his presence.

Morgan took his hand in his, lacing their fingers together marveling at the miracle of the warmth of Reid's hands in his. The details of his horrific kidnapping had trickled down in spurts through third parties. Morgan tilted his head enough to see the back of Reid's head covered in bandages. He knew exactly what was going on in his head, the guilt and the blame. "You tried." Morgan said squeezing his hand.

"I didn't." Reid replied squeezing his hand tightly with a slight tremor. Still he didn't turn just stared out the window into the dark night as they sped home.

xxXxx

Reid woke up in a panic, his heart racing, A heavy familiar body covered his own with a thick bicep wrapped around his middle holding him in place. The aqua cloud in which he was encased murmured endearments into his ear then pulled him closer.

"Morgan" He whispered as the confusion lifted. Most of his dreams started and ended like this, in his arms, safe, protected. Tucking his nose into Morgan's shoulder he breathed deeply savoring the moment until Morgan woke and he would have to go back to his real life without him.

As the larger man stirred, Reid clung to him needing more time to make up for all the things he could not say. Words that escaped his heart and his head, dying to be heard.

"M' sorry." Morgan woke finding Reid's eyes on him. I don't know why I keep doing that." Reluctantly he pulled away from the pale white body. Sitting up he flipped on the lamp on his side of the bed and rested his forehead in his palms wondering when he'd started giving Reid a side. Now wasn't the time to dissect his motives.

"Are you okay? You blacked out in the car and I just brought you here." He turned hoping Reid wasn't wondering why he hadn't put him in the guest room. "Does your head hurt? Let me get your pills."

Reid's hand twined with his as he got up off the bed and tugged him back down. Hours of emotional wear and tear showed on his face. "What can I do?" Morgan asked cupping his chin.

Reid leaned into his palm trapping Morgan's hand between his face and the pillow. His grin was wry and more than a little sad. "The whole time I was in there all I wanted to do was tell you how much I uh…." At the last moment he swallowed the words.

"Tell me what?" Morgan prompted.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Reid cut him off snuggling up to him.

Morgan scooted down holding Reid tighter, closer. His fingers lightly traced the bumpy spine through the thin t-shirt. A slim thigh was trapped between his as the slight body draped across his. His thumb caressed the downy curve of his cheek as gusts of air brushed his neck with every time he exhaled. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips to the cool forehead, savoring what might be the last time he held him.

"I love you."

His eyes snapped open when Reid spoke.

_**If you forget the way to go,**_

_**And lose where you came from,**_

_**If no one is standing beside you,**_

_**Be still and know I am. **_

_**Be Still – The Fray**_


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

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**Lorsha – I am sorry. I know what you mean by the tone I guess trying to juggle three stories at once is messing with my head. I am going to try to do better. It is still really hard for me to update constantly so I will do what I can – no promises there. Thank you for the review and don't worry I know you mean well.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 25**

"I love you, I love you, I love you" The refrain filled Morgan's head matching the staccato in his heels. He stumbled to a stop from the brisk jog resting his palms on his knees breathing heavily. His early morning run took more out of him than usual, maybe because he wasn't with Clooney or maybe more importantly because Reid had dropped an emotional bomb in his lap and then nodded off. No matter how much Morgan had shaken him, under the influence of the pain pills Reid had failed to rouse.

Having spent a long night holding him and battling a cold sweat, Morgan had left his bed and his genius and gone for a run. Automatically following the familiar route, music blasting in his ears he tried not to take Reid at his word.

He had had a hell of a day. After being abducted Reid had drifted in an emotional fog, he was tired, had suffered a head injury. Any of those factors could have culminated in an ill advised 'I love you". While his confession had seemed heartfelt but it could just as easily been an after effect of his trauma. He'd been abandoned with the unsub for hours on end on a highly personal case that ended in the death of three people, his fears of failure would have come into play leading him to cling to the first available warm body. It didn't help that Morgan had spirited him away and tucked him into his bed without giving him the option of calling his boyfriend.

Banishing the selfish act from his mind, Morgan set off at a grueling pace. The solid concrete met his feet with a solid whack building up into a rhythm as he raced down the block, early morning shadows dogging his steps.

Jogging every day before work cleared his head like nothing else. The ritual successfully drained his mind of troubling thoughts and lingering nightmares even as he pushed his body to the limit. The sooner he hit his daily mark the sooner he could go home. Home. To Reid.

"Dammit" He swore collapsing to an unattended stoop. He couldn't outrun his ghosts, not today, certainly not the very pretty, exhausted ghost that was home in his bed. Not to mention the looming problem of his ghost's very real boyfriend. There was no doubt in Morgan's mind that Alex was a good man. Reid was happy with him. Lately he'd been relaxed, easy in his skin. The little weight he'd put on suited him and being exposed to a whole other world separate from serial killers and death was good for him.

Morgan flexed his wrists then retied his running shoes. Torn, he rubbed his palms on his knees, leaning back on his elbows. He wasn't sure what to do about Reid's confession. Even over the brief time they'd been together he hadn't known how to keep Reid happy. He was short tempered; selfish and covered Reid in bruises every chance he got. They fell apart at the slightest problem. Then Morgan groaned dropping his head he remembered all his recent sexual activities. There was no way he was telling Reid about that, if he did love him Morgan wasn't going to give him reason to stop.

"Yup. Selfish." He muttered getting to his feet. All the way home he kept up the illusion of debate, the illusion that he would give Reid a chance to go back on his word and the closer he got to his condo the harder he lied to himself because if there was a chance for him to get Reid back he was going to take it, no matter how bad he was for him.

Morgan tore his iPod off his arm; the thumping bass that had accompanied his debate was cut off mid song. Unlocking his door he stepped inside, it was quiet and for a moment he thought Reid had gone home. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted from the kitchen, he followed, praying with every step that Reid was still around. He was. Fully dressed he sat in his living room on the window seat; his knees were drawn up to his chest, the mug clasped loosely in both hands.

"You're still here." Morgan pronounced almost rolling his eyes at the stupid statement.

"Yeah"

Morgan's heart sunk, noting that Reid spoke at him, instead of to him as his eyes darted all over the place even as he swung round carefully and placed his bare feet firmly on the carpet. At a loss of something better to say, Morgan inquired. "Shouldn't you still be in bed?"

"I wanted to talk about…about last night." Reid focused on the mug in his hand putting it aside before he dropped it. His hands were shaking so hard but determination overrode any sense of self-preservation he had left. "About what I said."

Reid knew what he had said; he knew exactly how he felt. JJ had been right his feelings were so big and consuming and no matter how scared he was of Morgan hurting him again, he couldn't keep running. Memories of Nathan whispering to his son played on a loop reminding him how fragile life was. They had a job that jeopardized their lives on a daily basis neither of them could say how long they had left. One second with the love of his life was all he asked.

Reid finally looked up searching Morgan's face for clues. He wanted to be able to see his rejection coming. Floundering a little as he was unable to tell what he was thinking or feeling Reid pressed on.

"I love you." He said.

"Reid?"

"Don't say anything." He rushed devouring Morgan with his eyes. "I love you" Reid chewed on his lip choosing his words carefully before laying it all on the line. "And I want to be with you. If I'm not…I mean if that's not want you want…"

"It is." Morgan stepped forward, stepped up. "You are."

Reid sagged back in his seat, suddenly boneless with relief. "I am?" He questioned convinced his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Yes" Outside of declarations of love and flowery language, Morgan's conviction and unwavering stare was the best response he could have gotten.

"I'm going to tell him." He preempted then clarified. "Alex. I'm going to tell him that we are over." When Morgan crossed the room and sat next to him, Reid felt his relief. He might not have been whopping for joy but it is definitely what he wanted too.

"Right now?"

"I can't put it off any longer." Reid cleared his throat as he got to his feet.

"Wait" Morgan grabbed his elbow getting up as well. "Do you feel well enough to drive or get into a big emotional discussion? It could get ugly."

"With Alex? No way." Having spent months with his boyfriend – soon to be ex-boyfriend, Reid knew his moods and reactions and that he was more likely to walk away than start a fight but it wasn't an argument he could present to Morgan. "I will take a cab." He insisted firmly.

Unwilling to let him out of sight; Morgan tightened his grip. "I could come with you." He offered. There was a chance that Reid's decision that had come seemingly out of nowhere would fizz out just as fast and he would remember that Alex was the one he really wanted.

"No" Even though he was scared, Reid knew he had to do it alone. He owed Alex that much. "I have to do it by myself and having you there will not make it any easier."

"Reid?"

"You can't protect me from everything. Just – um – one thing…" Suddenly ridiculously shy Reid wrung his hands together and stared at the floor. He blinked rapidly as he made his request. "Maybe I could come over later and we could have dinner. Like the first time when we..." He flushed.

"Like a do over?" Morgan chuckled. "Or do you want another chance to finish the job?"

Reid's head snapped up and he huffed challenging Morgan's grin. "For the last time, I was not trying to kill you."

"I know." Morgan raised his hand dropping it before it reached Reid's face. "I also know that I have given you plenty of reason to hate me over the past couple of months." He choked up a bit. "I don't deserve a second chance but I want one. So, dinner is a great start and this time I will take care of everything. You just come back to me okay?"

Reid gave him the sweetest smile and nodded. "Okay"

Hours later, Morgan slammed his front door behind him, heading for his truck. He had heard neither hide nor hair from Reid since he waved gaily at him from the cab that morning. Putting aside his pride was hard especially since everything pointed to Reid coming to his senses and deciding to stay with his boyfriend. Morgan cursed the gallant decision to let him go break things off in person. His first choice to drag Reid to bed and never let him leave would have kept him home where he belonged. Tons of people had been broken up with over text and email; Alex was tough he would have survived.

Morgan jumped into the car, started up the engine and tore out of his parking space. The dark thoughts of clobbering Reid over the head and dragging him back to his lair by the hair were very appealing.


	26. Chapter 26

**IM SORRY THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER JUST HAD A COMPUTER GLITCH!**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 26**

Reid tilted his head back and closed his eyes. The back of his head bounced against the hard leather robbing him of comfort as he tried to escape what had been without a doubt one of the worst moments of his life. Every happy feeling he'd had since leaving Morgan leaked out of him until he remained a hollowed out husk of despair.

"You okay?" He heard.

"I'm alright." He answered automatically.

Opening his eyes, Reid blinked at the bright glare of the afternoon sun as it bounced off the side mirror. He dodged the concerned looks the grandfatherly cabbie kept throwing him until the weight of his empathy forced him to get out and find another cab.

Reid stood on the sidewalk sweating in his heavy coat despite the fact that he was freezing as he flagged down yet another yellow cab and hopped in. Luckily this driver was too busy yelling at pedestrians through the unlit cigarette clamped between his teeth to acknowledge his passenger's emotional state.

To Reid's relief the interminable ride finally ended as they pulled to a stop outside his building. Without bothering to count it he pushed a wad of cash into the unconcerned man's outstretched palm and scrambled out of the car. Keeping his head down, he waved at Mr. Wilson as the old man hang out of his window watering his plants, probably surprised to see Reid during the day. The short elevator ride took him to his floor and a short walk to the refuge of his home.

As Reid collapsed to his couch, he kicked off his shoes and curled up on his side. He vaguely recalled that Morgan was expecting him but his well-worn pajamas and the jar of Halloween sugar cookies were much nearer. At some point he would move, he thought while dragging a cushion under his head. It was squishy against his skin as he burrowed into it trying to drown out his thoughts but Alex's words mingled with the seeds that already infested his soul and doubt snuck in through the fabric, insidious and damaging.

He had made a huge mistake.

No matter how hard he pressed the soft material into his ears he could still hear Alex's voice in his head. Could clearly remember his derision when Reid tried to explain that he was in love with Morgan.

xxXxx

"Morgan?" Alex had questioned. "Derek Morgan? Your best friend? The resident BAU manwhore? That Morgan." His voice kept getting higher until he was yelling at the end.

Reid backed away alarmed by the volume and the troubling array of emotions that crisscrossed his face.

"Answer me?"

"Yes" Reid peeped at him while Alex made a visible effort to get his rage under control.

"How long has this been going on? Have you been fucking him all this time? On your long frequent 'work' trips?"

Reid reeled back in shock. "No. I haven't…I wasn't with him behind you back." He defended. Even though he had technically cheated on him that one time. When he stumbled forward and Alex stepped back his face unreadable, Reid stopped his arms dropping useless to his sides. "I am sorry. I didn't want to…" He swallowed choking back tears.

"Didn't want to what? Completely fuck with me. I love you… and I thought you…God, how I could I have been so blind?" Leaning on his desk Alex stared out the window at the high rises in the distance. "Loved" He then corrected and continued in a hoarse whisper. "I knew that you weren't completely committed to me the first time which is why I left but you came to me in Boston and you seemed so sure." His eyes collided with Reid pining him to the spot. "Was that all a lie?"

"N-N-No." Reid quaked, finding Alex's quiet even more terrifying than the shouting. He jerked when Alex groaned dropping his face into his open palms. Itching to go to him, he shifted in place not knowing what to do. Alex surely wouldn't welcome his touch at this point.

"My parents are supposed to meet you today." Alex gave a short mirthless laugh. "I spent all week racking my brain for ways that would make it easier for you. Guess, I won't need them now."

"I could still meet them." Reid offered desperate for absolution. "You don't have to tell them yet. We could…"

"What? Pretend? I can't do that. I'm not you." Getting to his feet, Alex walked over to the large windows. "You should go." He dismissed.

Reid stared at his broad back at a loss for words. It wasn't supposed to end like this, with this painful nothing. He wanted to tell him that he loved him just not the way that he was supposed to; the time they had spent together meant something but the gap between them grew with every passing unfilled minute.

"Just go." Alex snapped. "Please"

With heavy steps Reid made the journey across Alex's office. The décor before him reduced to wet wavy lines as his vision blurred. He sniffed hard, his hand on the brass handle as he tried to get himself under control. He didn't need the world knowing they'd broken up. Especially not the employees who had been so supportive of their relationship and welcomed him with open arms. Would they hate him too now?

When Alex spoke, he turned around hoping for a reprieve from this terrible interlude but there was none to be found.

"You picked the wrong guy and you are going to regret it." He said his hard gaze boring into Reid even worse than his words. "When he breaks your heart and he will, you don't get to come back to me like nothing happened." As Reid left, the 'Goodbye Spencer' pursued him into the void.

xxXxx

Morgan jumped the curb screeching to a halt outside Reid's apartment. Ignoring his haphazard parking that took up three spaces, he tore into the building bypassing the buzzer as he ducked under the arm of a mom struggling to enter with groceries and a toddler. Taking the stairs two at a time he reached inside his jacket pocket for Reid's spare key as he got to his door.

Morgan pressed his forehead on the hard wood as muted light and sound streaked under the door. Reid was home. Fear replaced rage making his hand tremble over the small metallic key, which dug into his palm as he tightened his hold on it. Reid was home, meaning he wasn't being held against his will, he had chosen not to return. With dread, he opened the door and pushed into the semi dark following the sound of the TV to the living room.

The only light was from the old fashioned television that was playing an old black and white film with a familiar monster that had bolts through his neck. Morgan shuddered turning away. He hated scary movies.

"It's the 'Bride of Frankenstein'." Reid spoke from the couch.

Approaching the pile of blankets, Morgan sat next to him as Reid merely moved his feet remaining glued to the action onscreen the entire time.

"It didn't go well did it?" He asked.

Reid pulled the thick blanket over his head tunneling into the warm cocoon it provided. "He hates me." He murmured squeaking when Morgan yanked the blanket off his face and dragged him upright.

"Come here." Morgan ordered opening his arms. Reid tucked his feet under his thighs and shifted position falling onto Morgan's chest in a little ball of misery. Morgan took his time tucking the thick material around both of them. Knowing for sure that Alex was out of the picture he could afford to be kind.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Yes he does." Reid insisted. "He said things…" He thought of elaborating but then thought better of it. Especially since Morgan had been sexually promiscuous in the past, it wasn't really much of an insult if it was true.

"Baby, he was mad because you broke up with him. I bet he didn't mean half the things he said."

"Really?" Reid popped up so abruptly his skull clipped Morgan in the chin. "Then maybe if I talk to him again, he will understand that I didn't mean to hurt him."

"No" Morgan brushed the hair out of his eyes. "You have to let him be mad at you for awhile."

"But…" Reid deflated. "He was my friend."

"Oh angel!" Morgan ached at the sadness and confusion in his voice. "He is still your friend." Gathering him back into his arms, Morgan hugged him hard before stroking his back. "When he's not so pissed off, he will remember that you would never hurt anyone on purpose. He knows that you are a good man and you have the softest heart and he will come around. You just have to give him some time."

Reid sighed unhappily before nodding. He snuggled closer into Morgan's chest, listening to the sound of his heart beat through his shirt. He loved him so much and he couldn't imagine surviving if they broke up. "How do people do this all the time?"

"Not well. The first couple of times are the worst after that you learn how to keep something of yourself back so you aren't completely destroyed when the other person leaves."

Reid wondered if that's what Morgan was doing now, with him, holding something back just in case. He didn't want to know the answer to that so he just said. "I'm scared."

"I'm scared too. ' Morgan murmured kissing the soft shell of his ear. He chuckled when Reid threw him an incredulous look. "I promise…" He kissed his forehead. "You are not in this alone. I feel everything you feel." He held him as the movie played on wondering what was going through his genius' head as Frankenstein's monster cried and destroyed the lab after his bride rejected him. As the credits rolled, Morgan refused to move realizing he was happier than he'd been in long time.

"I'm sorry." Reid whispered sleepily into his collar. "I ruined our first date."

"There will be other dates to come, as many as you want…unless you've changed your mind about us."

Suddenly wide-awake, Reid sat up. "I haven't." He promised. As apprehensive as he was about their future, he had made his choice. He knew exactly who Morgan was and he loved him just the same. There was no turning back.


	27. Chapter 27

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_**End of Chapter 26 – Just a reminder**_

"_I'm sorry." Reid whispered sleepily into his collar. "I ruined our first date."_

"_There will be other dates to come, as many as you want…unless you've changed your mind about us." _

_Suddenly wide-awake, Reid sat up. "I haven't." He promised. As apprehensive as he was about their future, he had made his choice. He knew exactly who Morgan was and he loved him just the same. There was no turning back._

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 27**

For a long moment Reid stared at the long lines of Morgan's body reclining on his couch. His eyes darted to the strong dark fingers resting on his knee, on the worn cotton of his pajamas that held a smattering of cookie crumbs. Dusting them off quickly he looked up hoping Morgan had missed that nerdy moment. He hadn't. Hooded eyes followed his every move. With Morgan's back to the light and the flickering TV light throwing his face in the shade it was hard to make out his expression.

Nervously Reid chewed on his bottom lip wondering what to say. After months of scheming then pining then giving up he'd finally gotten what he wanted and he wasn't sure what to do about it.

"What happens now?" Reid had no idea why he was whispering. His breath escaping him in a little sigh as light delicate touches traced up the inside of his thigh.

"Come here." Morgan said, his voice different than before. Gravelly. Commanding. Reid knelt up on the cushion and swung a leg over straddling him. It was supposed to be smooth; graceful instead he wobbled, Morgan grabbing him just before he tipped back. Grabbing onto the muscled shoulder Reid dug his knees deeper for more leverage a nervous giggle escaping.

He swayed forward as ghostly touches grazed up his arm the tiny hairs standing up, goose bumps forming in their wake. Shudders jerked through him, his forehead bumping Morgan's.

"What do _you_ want?" Morgan's words rumbled against his lips, noses brushing. "Reid?" His lids dropped to half-mast, Morgan's hands digging into his upper arms. The feeling of rightness that coursed through him at the first touch of their lips defied words. He felt exposed, weak, humbled, terrified and jubilant. His heart swelled too small to contain the enormity of his love for this man.

"You okay?" Morgan looked at him with concern thumbing the tear off his cheek.

"M' Perfect" Reid murmured winding his long arms around his neck, kissing him in his next breath. Their teeth clash because he rushed at him too fast but then Morgan slides his hand into his hair and slashed his mouth over his and then it really is perfect. With bodies heaving and grinding they remained in the desperate clinging kiss.

Reid moaned as his painfully hard erection pressed against the snug pajama bottoms. _Touch me._ The words caught in his throat when one big hand slid under his shirt abrading the hot skin.

"I want to hear you." Morgan commanded.

"Touch me."

"Like this?" He asked, kissing softly down his jaw, his finger caressing his lower abdomen.

"No, no – N-O!" Reid mewled forcing himself closer. The ridge of his cock rubbing on Morgan's abdomen their clothing impeding his progress. "Gimme more – harder!"

When Morgan yanked him by the hair and bit down hard on his lower lip Reid wailed into his mouth, needful little sounds that increased in intensity with the slow burn across his scalp.

"Take this off." Morgan tugged at his shirt, rough and forceful.

At the raw hunger in his tone, Reid moaned and jerked attacking the tiny buttons, the press of Morgan's hands into his thighs the only thing tethering him to reality.

His ratty shirt slipped to the floor unheeded exposing his sensitive pink nipples that hardened to pinpricks under the heated gaze. Reid trembled and Morgan gave them a gentle squeeze, rubbing the pads of his thumbs on the responsive tips. He fumbled for his cock as it spat precum soaking the flimsy fabric. He had to come – had to. An immediate cry spilled out of him as Morgan crushed his nipples between his fingertips, his hands flying out of his lap.

"Ask" He demanded.

"Please…" He gasped as Morgan's teeth raked his neck. "I need…" he dissolved into incoherent begging and encouraging when Morgan shoved his hand down his pants and stroked his hardness.

Morgan clutched the back of his neck and dragged him until their mouths hovered only centimeters apart. "More"

"I want you…" Reid cried over soul deep ache inside him craved filling. "Urgh - need you – FUCK ME!"

They crashed to the thin carpet; Morgan stripping him in strong controlled motions. Reid shifted, watching as Morgan worked his slick pointer finger inside of him. His buttocks tightened, his channel clenching and releasing in fluttery waves, as one finger became two then three.

Twisting, mindless Reid begged repeatedly his voice hoarse. Spine arching, he tossed his head back in a silent scream as the massive cock punched inside of him ripping him open. Pain and pleasure twisted his insides. The flood of feeling rocking his very soul and his eyes squeezed shut swept under by the intensity. This was it. He was made for this, made for him. To be used – abused – possessed.

"Open your eyes." Dark eyes, inches from his glittered with arousal and barely concealed savagery. Reid trembled. The supersensitive head of his cock oozed with every rub on Morgan's hard abs.

His skin felt tight, hot and he locked on his lover, his love unable to look away. There was never going to be anyone else, just Derek. 'Mine', his heart echoed. Morgan cupped his cheeks. "My angel" He murmured, kissing him deeply, stealing his breath, his very life.

"Oh God, oh God…" Reid jerked, his muscles seizing as Morgan began to move. His cock was throbbing visibly, pleasure coiling like a spring. Sweat covered their gyrating bodies as Morgan pushed him harder, driving inside o him with brutal strokes that grazed his prostate sending jolt after jolt zinging down his spine. Over and over he pounded full length raking his nipples until the buds were red and swollen.

Reid tossed his head with mindless abandon. It hurt and he never wanted it to end. His legs were forced up upon his chest opening him up for a merciless fucking as Morgan battered his snug passage with fast full strokes his grunts mingling with Reid's cries.

"So - so tight.." Morgan growled working impossible deeper. Reid drowned in the bottomless hazel pools reveling in his claiming. Face pulled tight, Morgan yanked his head back, sharp teeth burying in his neck. Reid came, unloading cum in an endless torrent. Litanies of "I love you-s" wrenched out of him with every spurt. Unending waves of fulfillment washing over him, cleansing until he felt renewed.

It took forever for Reid to calm down his body still sending aftershocks through his wrecked body. Morgan moved away then came back. Reid frowned watching his lover's ministrations realizing he was discarding a condom. Logically it made sense; he'd been with Alex. Morgan had a right to protect himself. It bothered Reid but he was pleasantly exhausted, his body still buzzing. Morgan flipped onto his back dragging him onto his chest, the blanket covering them both his strong fingers stroking up and down his back. Lingering on the soft skin and the knobs of his backbone. Long strokes that brushed the swell of his butt cheeks before making the journey back.

"I don't mean to hurt you." Morgan's finger lightly traced the bite-mark on his neck. The skin had broken leaving drying red dots on his pale skin.

Reid's breath caught and he flushed. An amazing feat considering his nudity under the blanket and his sticky semen coating their bellies but they'd never discussed the spiraling brutality of their sexual encounters. He knew if he said the word, Morgan would pull back, treat him gently. They'd make love instead of fuck. But that wasn't what he needed, he felt beyond desired when they were together, he felt consumed, devoured. He tried to explain. "My mind is constantly working all the time, it's exhausting. When you touch me, everything stops." He wrinkled his nose hoping he was making sense. "I-I like it."

Morgan smiled easily the happiness lighting up his eyes; he gently kissed the bruised lips. "We should wash up…move to the bed."

"I want to go home." Reid's voice cracked on the last word. "I mean…I want to go to your place." Intimidated by the silence he forced out rationalizations. "Your bed is bigger. My coffeemaker's broken and the – uh cookies were all I had left in the way of sustenance." The panic that was building inside him is only slightly eased when Morgan tilts his head back and kisses him again. He realizes that he's shaking when the blanket is pulled over his shoulders. The long ago humiliation of that morning had dug deeper that he thought and he felt foolish for holding onto the pain but every time they 'd had sex in the past Morgan had disappeared afterwards, withdrawn physically and emotionally. He needed Morgan to let him stay so he could believe that this time was different, permanent.

"I mean…"

"Angel" Morgan swallowed his words. "Just grab whatever you need."

It's a half hour before they get home. Reid spends more time leaning against the window with his eyes glued on Morgan's profile, the firm angle of his jaw and his fingers flexing on the steering wheel. But it is the fine lines on his forehead that catch his eye and the downward droop to his lip. He's obviously exhausted and Reid feels even worse for dragging them all this way to prove an imaginary point.

"What's going on? You don't look too happy."

"Are you?" Reid flipped it, the unrestrained need for constant reassurance pouring out of him. "Happy? I mean."

"I don't think it's possible for me to be happier."

It's not what Morgan says but the way that he looks at Reid as he does.

"Are we going to be okay?" Even though Morgan says we, Reid knows it's really just him that he's referring to. He's overthinking everything as always instead of just being here, in this moment.

In an uncharacteristic move Reid leans across the seat and brushes a chaste kiss on his cheek Morgan's whiskers tickling his lips. "Yes" Letting go of the reins he sagged back into his seat, the emotional and physical toil of the past few days catching up with him and let Morgan take charge. He let him steer him home, into a hot shower and tuck him into bed. He was so out of it that Clooney's enthusiastic welcome barely registered.

Reid exhaled as his head hit the pillow fighting the drowsiness that was dragging him under. The bed dipped as Morgan crawled in and dragged him across the sheets, spooning his front onto Reid's back. He sighed happily snuggling back, warm and incredibly happy. Over the years he had perfected his bedtime ritual and one niggling thought nagged at him.

"Oomph" Morgan grunted as Reid hit him as he flipped over again. "Are you growing extra elbows?"

"I have to take my contact lenses out."

"Why don't you have the 30 days extended wear kind?"

"Disposable one-day lenses have the lowest risk on the market. Extended wear lenses are more oxygen permeable than daily-wear lenses, which make them safer for sleeping with. However, even with oxygen-permeable lenses, the oxygen level reaching the eyes is relatively low. But every night you sleep with them in, the higher the risk of corneal infection. I'm so tired some nights that…"

"Okay, okay." Morgan clapped his hand over his mouth putting an end to the flow of information. "I believe you. Just hurry up." He replaced his hands with his lips before rolling over onto his back.

Reid scrambled out of the warm bed, rolling up the long sleeves of his lover's large shirt. In the semi dark he swiveled in one spot but he couldn't see his overnight bag.

"Morgan?"

"Closet"

Fumbling in the dark he located his bag, found the contact lens solution and the doubled ended case. An unfortunate spastic movement sent the case sliding across the floor. "Sorry" He whispered chasing after it when Morgan pulled the covers over his head. He shoved his hand under the bed and felt around grabbing the first thing he found.

The box he pulled out was white; easily collapsible and the red top tipped back revealing three cigarettes. Grabbing his case he rushed to the bathroom and flipped on the overhead light. The 'Marlboro' leapt off the box, shorting his brain. Morgan didn't smoke so somebody else must have been in his bedroom, probably recently because his cleaning service came twice a week when he wasn't away on a case. Maybe one of them… but their job was to clean not leave garbage behind.

"Reid?"

Reid jumped, crashing the box and its contents in his hand when Morgan called his name.

"I'm coming." He chucked the crumpled packet in the toilet and flushed. It was ludicrous how hurt he felt that Morgan hadn't been sitting around pining after him. Of course there had to have been _someone_, they'd been apart for six months after all but the thought of some black-lunged tramp in his bed really stung. Going through the motions Reid removed his lenses grateful when his vision went soft and blurry. Flicking off the bathroom light he went back to bed determined not to dwell on it anymore.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 28**

Reid woke slowly. At the first thrumming ache in his body he smiled snuggling beneath the warm bedclothes. He could still feel Morgan's hands on his skin, stroking, exploring and loving. Stretching lazily, he flipped onto his back, the heavy curtains muting most of the morning light casting the room into a deep shade. He looked for Morgan, heavy with languor, his lids dropping of their own accord at the sound of the shower running. It was soothing and reassuring.

It could have been minutes or hours later when the bed dipped and he happily rolled into the indentation. Cozying up to the heavy body on the other side he murmured "Morgan" smiling in his sleep. He was drifting off again when his nose twitched, 'what was that smell'? The smell that accompanied heavy breathing. Having a sneaking suspicion he opened his eyes in dread, squeezing them shut again at the sight if the bared canines close to his face. 'Don't panic' he reminded himself' 'it's just a dog, Morgan's dog'. When the rough tongue swiped up his jaw he lost it, the girly scream erupting out of him.

Morgan burst into his bedroom, a white towel covering his hips. His only weapon an electric toothbrush clutched in his right fist.

"He licked my face!" Reid shrieked standing on top of the bed. "Licked my face!"

Morgan turned to Clooney who was resting on his haunches patiently watching for a pat on the head. He knew that look. A few steps forward and he could see the bloody feathers on the floor. Crap!

"Don't look down." He cautioned Reid.

"Why not?" Reid was a mask of suspicion as he peeped over the edge of the bed. "Oh God!" He swayed bile rising up his throat. The blood of that tiny bird was on his face. "Get it off." When one tiny wing fluttered weakly he freaked out, racing for the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Morgan jumped out of the doorway just in time, readjusting his towel. Patting the shaggy dog he led him out of the bedroom. "We talked about this." He explained. "No dead birds, or rats. No dead anything." He took Clooney outside to dispose of the dead bird then refilled his water bowl adding a generous splash of doggy mouthwash. "Stay" He commanded before going back inside. "Reid will learn to love you. I promise." The large dog barked as if it understood him.

Stepping back into the bathroom, he found Reid still manically washing his face, the skin on his left side rubbed raw. As he picked up the face wash he spotted Morgan behind him. "It is just a myth that a dogs' mouth is cleaner than a humans." He defended, pausing the pink blob in his hand forgotten as Morgan came up behind him then bent to the side and kissed the red scraped skin.

"Good morning."

Leaning into him Reid gripped his arm angling for another kiss, smiling when he got one. "Morning"

"This is not the way I wanted you to wake up." Morgan whispered into his ear.

Enthralled by the movement of his lips, Reid slipped his hand around his holding him in place. "How did you want me to…Oh!" He sagged against Morgan as his long dark fingers begun to trace the edges of his boxers.

"I wanted you to be happy…relaxed…" Morgan's lips covered his. "…sated. Definitely sated. Not tense, testing me at every turn. Did you sleep at all?"

Reid's pupils flared, chest tight, despite his best efforts his eyes were huge and terrified as they met his lover's in the mirror. "I didn't, I'm not…" He denied the accusation vehemently even though he'd been up half the night fighting exhaustion, worried that Morgan would come to his senses and boot him out. The cigarettes and everything they implied had not helped. He and Morgan had finally gotten together; they had a chance to be happy. It wouldn't be him that rocked the boat and screwed it all up.

"Breathe" Morgan directed turning him round. His hands skimmed the pale skin skipping the red bruises, his breath getting heavy at the sign of each possessive mark. Deep grooves buried in Reid's jutting hipbones begged his attention. Thumbing the indentations, he dug into the delicate skin swallowing Reid's desperate gasp.

"You have every right to be cautious I haven't treated you right, but, baby, that's all in the past. Do you think you could give me a chance to win you again? Clean slate?"

Reid finally looked up and Morgan was swallowed in a sea of brown that reflected such desperate hope that his heart ached at his tentative nod. His expectation to get hurt again was written all over his face. At this point in their relationship actions would hold more value than words.

Kneeling before him, Morgan dragged down his boxers, the rearing cock head bumping his chin leaving a smear of precum. He wanted Reid to trust him with his heart the way he did with his body.

"Oh. Oh fuck!" Reid tossed his head back. Wet heat enveloped his cock, the slick wipe of a tiny tongue in his slit sent shudders through him. His fingers dug into the hard porcelain sliding in the soapy gob that still clung to his palm.

Methodically, Morgan worked his tongue, up and down his length with Reid helplessly following his rhythm. Leaking like a broken faucet he drove between the wide O of Morgan's lips, glued to the dark lips as they worked their magic sending him spiraling into a deep dark web where nothing else mattered, just Derek, loving him with his mouth. Reid gasped; moaning as sucking him down Morgan swallowed taking him into his throat.

Just when he couldn't think he could take it anymore, fingers cupped his sac toying with his nuts. _He was so good. _Jerking at the occasional graze of his teeth, Reid struggled to hold on to the exquisite feeling as he dick swelled in the wet suctioning cave. Body glistening with sweat he panted as Morgan forced his legs wider playing with the sensitive skin under his testicles.

A rough finger snaked into his well-used hole, popping the muscle. "I_ I'm com – oh god!" Fire blazed down his spine pooling in his groin as he exploded shooting endless spurts of his life force down Morgan's sucking throat. He shouted, jerking, thrusting until he was drained and collapsed to his feet.

Reid shifted trying to find relief for his numb butt against the cold tile. His head bumped against the sink and he snuggled closer burying his head under Morgan's chin reluctant to disturb the intimate moment. Lacing their hands together, sheer happiness rocked through him. He imagined he could see the love reverberating around them, a warm pink cloud shielding them from everyone and everything. This is the way it was meant to be.

"You're staring."

"I'm happy."

"Good" Morgan kissed his forehead. "Now get up. I'm freezing my nuts off."

"No" Reid whined as Morgan dragged him to his feet and ushered him into the shower, pouting a lot less when his lover got in with him.

xxXxx

Monday morning came around far too soon for both of them. Reid trudged round the side of the car getting into the SUV. Sipping from the travel mug, he let the hot coffee warm him from the side out. Morgan was still inside settling Clooney and though they'd come a long way, Reid was still nervous around the boisterous German shepherd mix.

"We should take separate cars." He murmured as soon as Morgan pulled them out of the drive.

"Reid, we've ridden into work together before. It's no big deal." Morgan chuckled easily deciphering the source of his worry. "Besides if you keep looking at me like that, everybody's gonna know anyway."

"We are violating the fraternizing policy. If it gets out that we are dating we could be shuffled to different teams." Worry pounded through Reid's body as he shared. "I just don't want anything to go wrong…"

"Baby" Gentle fingers grazed the side of his face. "Nothing's gonna go wrong."

"Promise?" He demanded like Morgan could control their fate.

"I promise. And I will take you home. Just this once." Morgan grumbled as they stopped outside Reid's building.

"You ashamed of me?"

Flipping to reassure him, that there would never be anyone else Reid caught the silly smirk on his boyfriend's face. His arrogant boyfriend. _His boyfriend._

"I could never be ashamed of you." Reid smiled getting out of the car and leaning in to smile at Morgan through the lowered window. "You are completely amazing…for your age." He quipped racing off at the flabbergasted expression on Morgan's face.

"You little…"

The rest of his words were lost as Reid tore down the path. He could hear Morgan coming after him, over the thumping of his heart. The wind teased his hair as he sped hoping to get into his car before Morgan caught up to him.

Morgan slammed the car door chasing after Reid who tossed one last laugh over his shoulder, his eyes bright with happiness and he cleared the corner. Exhilarated he chased after him, Reid's joy tripling his own.

Stumbling to a halt when he caught Reid standing still in front of his car, his knuckles white as he ripped the strap of his shoulder bag. Instantly on the alert, Morgan approached him slowly. "What's the matter?"

"Someone slashed my tires." Only complete numbness could explain Reid's even tone at the vicious crime. This felt a lot more personal than getting shot at on a case.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! I had an amazing holiday I hope you all did too. I may have had a little too much fun because it was super hard to convince my self to sit at a computer and write. For all of you I made an effort. Here's hoping it doesn't suck.**

**So many of you reviewed this past chapter, which was the most amazing Christmas present, thank you so much. – Antigone21, Wolfpawn, Guest1, People Person I'm Not, LoveforPenandDerek, Medeia456, Jenny crum, AlienTourist, Miss Twinkle, InMyIvoryTower, Sweetteetwo, Idontdanceigrind, Sue1313 and of course Nannily.**

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**Reeling thoughts – A new love letter for you.**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 29**

"Come on." Morgan grabbed Reid's upper arm trying to drag him away from the senseless act.

Faded blue and squatting unevenly on the asphalt the Crown Vic looked even more out of place among the German and Japanese automobiles that still populated the street, the empty street. "But…my car…" Still in shock, Reid was rooted in place staring at the malicious gashes that split open the dark rubber.

"Baby, there's nothing we can do about it now. We've gotta get to the BAU then we can send back a unit to process your ride."

Reid turned to him quivering with determination and indignation. ""We could canvas the neighborhood, search for witnesses. Maybe someone saw something?"

Glancing at the ugly heap, which was long since destined for a junkyard, Morgan wondered if it was worth the trouble. "Maybe it's for the best. Christine was an eyesore, some lucky bastard did you a favor and put her out of her misery." Shit! He swore under his breath, swallowing his chuckles when Reid shot him a hurt look.

"She…damn…IT…" Incensed, Reid clenched his teeth. "It is an inanimate object, stop giving it human qualities and that was my car. I don't care how ugly she – it – is. I have a right to park it on the street without fear of it being desecrated."

"Hey, listen to me." Morgan stepped in front of him holding his gaze as the thin shoulders vibrated under his palms. "I know what you are thinking."

"There's no way you can possibly know that."

"This is not a personal attack."

"It feels personal."

Morgan swept the hair out of his face, grabbing the back of his neck and touching the foreheads. "I know it does but it's probably just a bunch of bored kids." Reid closed his eyes leaning against him. Morgan's hands trailed down until he held Reid's hands in his. "This is not about you."

"You think it was 'Peer status motivated vandalism'?"

"Exactly." Morgan jumped onto the excuse even though he couldn't find another trace of vandalism in a protected genteel neighborhood, not even a busted up trashcan or a squiggle of marker on a wall. A bunch of kids would have left a trail of destruction leading to and away from the car. But comforting Reid was a priority and he was thankful his genius was too preoccupied to put two and two together.

"Some fool was trying to act like a man in front of his friends and Christine got crucified. Okay?"

Cradled in his arms, Reid nodded. Maybe he was overreacting. He reveled in the comforting embrace, completely unbothered by which of his neighbors was peering through their curtains judging them. "Ok."

Relieved Morgan cupped his face in his hands. "You want me to send some one from my shop to pick it up?" He smiled as Reid nodded again as the worry faded from his eyes; dropping a quick kiss on his forehead Morgan hurried him away. The nagging feeling of being watched shadowing their steps.

On the way in, he kept a close eye on Reid waiting for him to explode again. When they parked in the underground parking lot without incident he took Reid's hand stroking his thumb over his knuckles. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." A slow smile bloomed on his face, transforming it into transcendent radiance that drew Morgan irresistibly closer. He was so close to his plump pink lips when Reid slapped a hand across his face.

"No kissing at work."

"You are taking this too far." Morgan mumbled around the palm covering his mouth.

"No" Reid insisted. "Someone could see us. It is 8am most of the agents arrive about this time. "We have to be careful."

Smirking to himself, Morgan checked out the dashboard which blinked 8:03. For months he had dreaded these mornings, watching Reid arrive with Alex day after day had been a nightmare. Tormented by the graphic images of their writhing bodies he had barely been able to get through the day. Now Reid was here with him, like he should have been and it was _so,_ _so_ right. Finally.

Reid squeezed his hand and then scrambled out of the SUV slamming the door behind him. Morgan readied himself to go after him when Reid popped back in the open window. "I love you." He whispered before giving him a shy smile and scurrying off.

xxXxx

Morgan strode down the hallway the light file held in his left hand, as he took a corner he heard Garcia before he saw her. Uncharacteristically out of her office she stood with Kevin twirling a blond curl in one hand, a big smile on her face. _She should marry that man._

"A second?" He asked. Giving Kevin a sharp nod as he pulled her away. "I need a favor."

"Sure anything."

"Can you pull up any surveillance footage in and around Reid's neighborhood from ATM's, traffic cams?"

"Is this because of his car?" Suddenly Garcia grasped his arm looking worried. "I thought you told Reid it wasn't a big deal?"

"I don't want him to worry but I had Officer Valle lift and run the prints."

"I could have done that."

"You are my go to girl, you know that but Reid could have found out. Anyway the point is…" He shrugged. "The prints led nowhere. Too many people touched that damn car and none of them are in the system."

They turned when Kevin made an impatient noise.

"Sorry about him," Garcia threw back a pointed look. "We are heading out for lunch."

"Go. Go have fun." Morgan stepped aside. "I will forward you all the information I have."

He was halfway down the hall when Garcia called his name. "I will be waiting for my massive bouquet of flowers." She yelled tossing him a wink. "You are welcome."

Grinning he headed for the bullpen knowing Garcia was going to take credit for their relationship for the rest of their lives. He paused in the doorway his smile lifting at the sight of Reid reading through some old books his fingers following the lines on the page. Sidling up to him, he ran his fingers over the exposed nape of his head. Reid jumped turning to face him before checking out the large half empty room with large fearful eyes.

"Don't do that." He hissed, the warmth in his eyes taking the sting out of his words.

"No one saw." Morgan perched on the edge of his desk, tapping the file against his knee. He looked so beautiful with his tie askew, his lean chest defined by the fitting shirt. "I made a smart move making you leave the sweater at home."

Reid flushed, his fingers fidgeting in his lap before he rolled his chair further in until his thigh was pressed up against Morgan's leg. "Do you want to go out for _lunch_?" The last word was whispered huskily, seductively heavy with innuendo.

"I do. Want. _Lunch_." Morgan said fighting the urge to drag Reid out of the chair by his tie. It would make a really tight knot, over his wrists, his neck. His long bruised neck, Morgan shifted in an effort to distract himself, now wasn't the time. "I can't. I need to talk to Hotch."

Eyes widening with alarm, Reid leaned back zeroing in on him. "Why?"

"I have to tell him about us. If this gets out…"

"It won't."

"Just in case it does, we will need him on our side."

Reluctantly Reid nodded, he wasn't entirely sure that it was the right move but Morgan was right. If their relationship got exposed Hotch would be their biggest supporter. His irrational fears of them breaking up as always filled his head with fearful mutterings. As Morgan ruffled his hair and walked off, he realized he should have told him; if it came down to the BAU or them - he was willing to quit.

Unable to get back to his books, he focused on Hotch's window feeling like his fate was being decided without him. He should get up, go to his office and stand besides Morgan but he couldn't move.

"Mazel tov."

Reid jerked when Rossi appeared beside him. Frowning at the elder agent, he shook his head needlessly stacking his books. "I'm not Jewish."

Suppressing a snicker, Rossi pointed towards Hotch's office "It looks like you and Agent Morgan finally got your act together."

Baffled, Reid's jaw dropped open. "How did you know?"

"If you are going to be staying over at Morgan's, you should use a different body wash." Rossi strutted off a smug look on his face. "Like I said congratulations."

Reid sniffed his wrist, blanching as the familiar scent filled his nostrils. All his precautions had been for nothing he thought as he hurried to the bathroom to wash the scent off as much of his body that he could reach.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**For all my reviewers thank you for feeding my near psychotic need for approval – RoseLaurel, Medeia456, Irishgirl9, jennycrum, Idontdanceigrind, Raeya, People Person I'm Not, Delia Cerrano, Combatcrazy, Sue1313, McKaylaBug and Sweetteetwo.**

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**My newest reviewers; Captain Crumpet and SmcdsShipper19 (love your profile pic) Thank you and welcome.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 30**

"Hey Hotch," Morgan rapped on the wooden door pushing it inward at the same time. "You have a minute?"

After an interminable minute in which Hotch stared at Morgan's face intently, he smiled, dropped his pen and gestured him inside. "Should I pretend to guess what this is about?"

Ah profilers! Morgan laughed nervously as he settled in the comfy chair across from him, placing the file he held on his lap. "How about I tell you what I came in here to say and we act like you don't already know?"

"As long as I don't have to fake surprise, I was never good at it." Hotch reminisced. "It was a nightmare for Hailey when she planned my birthday parties."

Morgan fidgeted. This was counterproductive. Hotch knew, the same way their entire team would know just by looking at them. "So you're cool with Reid and I?"

Instead of replying Hotch tossed him the newspaper that lay folded on his desk. "Page 4."

Flipping through the pages, Morgan stopped at the black and white photo of a grim gray haired gentleman at the top of the page. With clammy hands he pressed his elbows to his knees perusing the page as his heart thudded painfully in a simple grief for a man he'd known if only in passing. "How did he die?"

"He was gunned down in his home yesterday morning."

"We corresponded on a case once, he was a hard man to like." Morgan smoothed the paper under his hands then asked. "Do they know who did it?"

"His team and the entire Denver office are working on it." Hotch reached for the newspaper, placing it carefully beside his laptop. "After the investigation is concluded, a meeting will be held to determine his replacement. Your name will come up like it always does."

"Christ! Not this again." Morgan got up turning away from him like that would make all the job offers disappear. His stint in Miami had created manic interest from his superiors; none of them understood his insistence on remaining in Virginia. Hotch did so he fobbed them off. "I don't want to be chief." At the pointed look he got from Hotch, he ducked his head muttering. "At least not _yet_."

Ignoring his fake protest Hotch continued. "Houston will need someone when Agent Chobsky retires. Los Angeles is looking to start up a new unit after an arsonist decimated most of the old one. They need all the experienced agents they can get."

"LA is a cesspool of crazy." Morgan interrupted. _Not to mention a certain actress that Reid had once expressed interest in lived there._ "I'd never get any sleep." Tugging at his shirt collar he tamped down all feeling of baseless jealousy and refocused on his boss. "Where are you going with all this?"

"Strauss. If you give her even a hint of a reason, she will have you clear across the country in one of those posts before the week is out."

Tipping his head to one side, Morgan bit his tongue. The words Hotch spoke had been exactly what he was expecting after all he had had almost a year to consider the downside to being with Reid. However somewhere along the way, being with him no matter what began to matter more than anything else. Taking a deep breath, he promised. "We will be discreet."

"Like you have been in the past?"

If Morgan's skin were any lighter he would have turned beet red, as it was his sheepish look was enough. "Better."

Hotch sighed, looking relaxed for the first time since Morgan had walked in. "I am happy for you."

Morgan tipped his head in acknowledgment.

"One more thing," Sobering, Hotch crossed his arms, tension once again furrowing his brow. "I wish this world was different but it's not. I don't need to tell you that if your relationship gets out no one would dare say a mean thing to your face. They will go after Reid."

"I know."

"All the kissing in the parking garage has somehow gone unnoticed because he keeps to himself or because his boyfriend didn't work here or because I've been having Huan and Croft keep an eye on him, I don't know for sure. It's hard to decipher the festering mind of the closeted bigot. You are a lot more high profile. Biracial. I'm not sure what can or will set them off. Just keep an eye out."

Morgan left Hotch's office deep in thought. He passed several agents through the halls meeting their gazes, returning their nods, all the time wondering which one of them would be the first to sneer when they found out about him and Reid. Who would start the subtle undermining and snide remarks because they'd never engage him in a physical fight? Who would be the first to go after Reid? Despite the extensive hand to hand combat training provided by the FBI; Reid had only gotten marginally better at defending himself. It had been irresponsible of Morgan to fuck him in closets and bathrooms. He might as well paint a bulls-eye on Reid's back welcoming all haters.

Distracted he slipped into his office, studying their relationship from all sides, praying there was a way to get through the next few weeks, years…without Reid getting hurt.

"What did he say?"

Morgan looked up to find Reid rushing at him from behind his desk where he'd been waiting.

"Why are you wet?" He deflected, flicking the damp curls that hang limply over Reid's ears. Ears that immediately reddened.

"It's nothing." Reid scrunched up his nose, dabbing at the stubborn droplets clinging to his hair. He must have missed a few in his rush to get to Morgan. "What did Hotch say?"

"Nothing we didn't already know – just to be careful, no sex on the jet, stuff along those lines. "

Reid crossed his arms across his chest, pulse spiking in alarm as Morgan addressed his words at the room instead of directly at him.

"Don't treat me like a kid. Not now." He said seeking a genuine answer, shredding the soft pad on his bottom lip. "What did he really say?"

"This isn't the easiest profession for us to be – _us_" Morgan gestured between them. "You remember the 1997 case of Officer Jacob Lewis…"

"Yeah, he got killed by his squad after they found out he was gay and they framed a drug dealer but that was years ago."

"I know, baby and the world has changed a lot since then. We just need to be careful with the PDA. Heck you should be happy, you were right."

"Oh." The tinny tiny sheltered part of Reid that still believed in happily ever after, crumpled and died. He hadn't wanted to be right. Despite the precautions he'd been taking all day, he had hoped for _a miracle. _He had just been too afraid to admit it, even to himself, like a silly child concealing a birthday wish.

Intense misery curled around his chest. More than anything Reid craved simple things – to hold Morgan's hand, kiss him when he felt like - the chance to celebrate the love he'd found in the light instead they were condemned to this; a life spent hiding in the shadows. Everything inside him rebelled at the thought. "I can't do that. I won't."

"We don't have a choice."

"Yes we do." The flood of certainty that he was making the right decision made Reid brave. "I can give notice right now and let Hotch find another agent to replace me."

"Reid. There _is_ no other you. No one else is toting around that big brain of yours. Losing you will be a huge blow to the team, hell, the entire bureau. I won't let you do this for me."

"I would do it for us. _I would do it for me._" How could he explain to Morgan that he was tired of coming second? Tired of putting the job before his needs? Tired of seeing good people die? What he couldn't figure out was whether he'd felt that way all along or whether Nathan and Matthew Hubbard had tipped the scale in the right direction.

"What about us?" At Reid's quizzical look, Morgan explained. "We travel on cases for days sometimes weeks at a time. If you quit, when will we see each other? Between all the crazy ass unsubs? Holidays? When?"

Reid sagged a nearby shelf sending a trophy tumbling to the floor as the look of trepidation on his love's face arrested him. There was no doubt that Morgan had been considering their situation for a lot longer than he had. There was a way, there had to be one.

"I don't know if I can see you only once in awhile, living off phone calls and video chat." Morgan stopped suddenly and simply stared at him." I have waited too long for you. We belong together."

It felt odd for Reid to be smiling when he'd been so close to tears. He floated across the room at Morgan's emotional declaration. He had to be near him.

Morgan moaned a little when Reid stepped right up to him and rested a hand on his chest over his thudding heart. The big brown eyes gazed at him with such earnestness he wasn't sure whether he'd done something wrong or right. "What…" He tried to fill the silence just as Reid kissed him. He froze for a moment unsure then sinking into the heat, squeezing Reid tight as he melted into him.

A knock at the door rattled them both until JJ yelled. "Morgan. Case."


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thank you –Medeia456, Irishgirl9, jennycrum, Idontdanceigrind, Raeya, People Person I'm Not, Nannily, Sue1313, Scmdshipper19, Sweetteetwo and AlienTourist.**

**Delia Cerrano – I hope this helped.**

**Guest – He was wet because he was trying to wash off Morgan's scent after what Rossi said.**

**My newest reviewer; MorgansBabyGrl – I was under the impression that Morgan's mum is Caucasian on the show. I could be wrong. Thank you and welcome.0**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 31**

Reid plopped facedown onto the lumpy mattress, bouncing gently and turning his head so he wouldn't suffocate in the soft pillow. Groaning he made the tiniest of moves, his neck cricking at every turn. Fifteen odd days of slogging through the Louisiana bayou chasing a trio of escaped prisoners had hit him harder than expected. Split into teams to cover more ground he had only seen Morgan in passing a handful of times. And those stolen moments were fraught with unspoken emotion. He was nervous about every gesture and look sure the whole world was watching as he ricocheted between radiant happiness and intense misery at their separation.

Lost in thought he started when the mattress bounced again and a heavy weight settled next to him. At the soft brush of lips on his, he squeezed his eyes tight then opened them. Morgan was so close to him that Reid's eyes kind of crossed, in a good way.

"Hey." He said, warm breath ghosting over Reid's lips.

Reid's answered 'hey' lost form as his lips spread into a wide welcoming smile before falling into a worried frown. "Are you okay?" Raising his right hand he traced the beginning of the bump on his head, the brown skin raised and darkening on the cusp of involving into a massive bruise. He shuffled closer until he was where he needed to be, pressed flush against Morgan, fitting them together like puzzle pieces.

"It's nothing." Morgan brushed his hand away, wincing slightly at the graze of skin on skin.

"_That_ doesn't look like nothing." Propping his face on his elbow, Reid examined the bump closely. "Did you see a doctor? Of course you didn't." Asking and answering his own question, he sat up muttering darkly.

Morgan consistently ignored his own mortality, taking unnecessary chances in the field. Now that they were together he wasn't going to put up with it. Their lives were tied together, if anything happened to him…Reid swallowed as his heart skipped several beats then speeded up as Morgan yanked him down, easily pinning his slim wrists to the mattress above his head.

"You need a hospital." He breathed quickly, a little desperately because Morgan was crawling over him, nudging his knees open. "A uh – scan." He couldn't remember exactly what kind, over the gleeful jumping of his cock. "CT scan" Yes!

""I don't want to talk about that. Everything I need is in this room."

The way his heart was flipping at Morgan's words and hands, it was Reid that would need a defibrillator. A flash of pink caught his eye as Morgan licked his lips and leaned in. Losing the battle, all thought melted away as he thrust upward rubbing wantonly on the hard hot body igniting even through two layers of clothing.

Reid bucked, panting when his wrists were grasped tighter, crushing the bone.

"I missed you." Morgan nosed his head back nipping at his exposed collarbone, sucking gently at the tiny bite. "Your lips, your eyes…God, baby your skin." Shifting lower, Morgan used one hand to hold onto him using the other to pop open the buttons of his shirt. Reid hissed trembling, as Morgan pushed up hard between his splayed thighs as the mouth on his chest moved slowly, drawing lazy circles on his tight skin. From fifteen days of nothing to this was absolute torture. Torture that Reid missed when the demanding hands stopped roaming. 'More' formed in his mind but went unspoken as light caresses fell on his body, banking his fire.

"Tell me." Morgan ordered.

Reid's chest rose and fell glorying in the temporary respite. He knew what his lover wanted to hear, the same words he was aching to say. It didn't mean he couldn't play with him a little. It was the only time Morgan would ever beg. Faking misunderstanding, he said. "I missed you too."

"Not that." Morgan ground out teeth clenched with frustrated need. His fist flexed on Reid's fragile bones sending streaks of pleasure pain up his captured arms. "Tell me."

Captivated, Reid never wanted to escape the burning intensity in his eyes. "I love you."

Swooping down Morgan claimed his mouth, stealing his breath. Whimpering, Reid was swept under the hypnotic pull of his firm lips, letting himself be taken, brutally, completely. He gasped and canted his hips as his pants were shoved his knees, his full hard shaft exposed. He bucked against the thumb stroking the sensitive slit the need to come taking over. Desperate needy moans poured out of him, gobs of precum leaking through Morgan's fingers making him weep.

"Tell me again." The demanding words rumbled on his chest, yanked him out of his stupor. A pointed tongue teasing his painfully erect nipple.

"I love you." He whined. "IloveyouIloveyou. Please. Ple-I- uh!" Shudder raced through his body, his thighs straining in their captive cotton prison. He had to open wider; he wanted more, he wanted to be held down and fucked. Ripped open by his lover's massive cock. Body writhing, he begged until his voice was hoarse, still uninhibited mewls escaped his throat.

Blind and deaf to everything but his pleasure he thrust through the tight fist. Long pulls caught on the underside of his thin-skinned head, shuddering at the sharp bite at his neck. "There. Just - uh"

Another strong push and he exploded, his orgasm ripping through him tossing him into a deep dark well of hedonistic bliss. Spent he lay there, waiting for his heart to stop thundering, his pulse to stop tripping. Finally he dragged himself on top of Morgan, burying his face in his neck, the thick ridge of his cock nestled between his thighs. Weakly, he thought 'Mmmm more' as his body struggled to awaken.

Reid shivered as a gust of air tickled the shell of his ear and Morgan laughed. "Who's old now?"

He roused enough to mumble. "Still you."

A loud smack filled the room and Reid yelped flipping over rubbing at the stinging in his butt. "Aw!"

He looked up to catch Morgan staring at him a soft teasing expression on his handsome face. He swept the hair off his forehead, hand trailing over his cheeks as if memorizing his face with his hands. Reid squirmed under the scrutiny wondering what Morgan saw when he looked at him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked gesturing at his forehead.

"Baby, I'm superman."

Reid snorted, wrapping an arm around his waist. "It's phrases like those that let me know how much you need me."

"I _do_ need you."

"You don't get points for repeating what I said."

"Do I get points for making you scream?"

"I did – not." Reid could feel the blush climbing up his cheeks, but he knew he'd be screaming again inn a matter of minutes as Morgan rolled him over. Wait? Weren't his team right next door?

_**I will admit it. I did need a bit of a break. This is much shorter as it was mostly an excuse for an accelerated timeline and some cute sexy times before I jump back into their drama. Enjoy!**_


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Okay. I'm back. Deep breath. Here we go.**

**Thank you my lovelies – Jenny Crum, Sue1313, People Person I'm Not, Medeia456, Irishgirl9, Idontdanceigrind, Nannily, Combatcrazy, Delia Cerrano, Antigone21 and Scmdshipper19.**

**Wolfpawn – It's lovely to hear from you again. I hope you had a fabulous time on your holiday.**

**Legaldramafan – I have to admit I regularly stalk your profile longing for a new story.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 32**

"Do you think he's bored?"

"What? No. I don't know." JJ spluttered, her confusion trickling through the phone. "Why would you think he's bored?"

Reid craned his neck peeping round the corner before popping back into the kitchen. "He's just sitting there – reading."

"He can read." She mocked. "We've all seen him do it."

"JJ!" Reid rebuked. "I know he reads but its Morgan. His hobbies tend to require more physical exertion. Don't say it?" He warned quickly. Since she and the rest of the team overheard them having sex in Louisiana three weeks ago they hadn't let up with the jokes and innuendo. Usually he took it in stride knowing it was their way of showing support of their relationship but today he wasn't in the mood. "Since we got back we hardly ever leave his apartment."

"Don't you like staying in?"

Giving his hair a self-conscious tug he admitted. "I do but – I think he's choosing to appeal to my needs and comforts over his own."

"I wish I had your problems."

"It's not a problem per se. I'm just worried that down the line he'll become resentful….unbalanced relationships never last."

"You worry too much." Standing in the doorway, he watched Morgan flip the book to read the upside down text. He was so engrossed he barely noticed. "We need to go out."

"Okay. What do you need me for?

"Is there a gay bar in town somewhere?" He whispered into the phone.

JJ laughed. "Reid, you are hardly the 'hit the club' kinda guy."

"I want to try something new and Morgan loves to dance. A gay bar is the logical choice."

"I heard about Oz! from my salon. It is either a reconverted warehouse or found in the Warehouse district beyond that I have no other clues." Her voice was suddenly distant as she said. "Henry, put that down." Then it was crystal clear again. "I heard they make you check your clothes at the door."

"WHAT?"

"Kidding." She tittered. "Go have fun. Spence."

Reid said his goodbye returning the phone to its cradle. Returning to the Living room he found Morgan almost manically flipping the book as Clooney sat at his feet chewing on one of his toys.

"Why did you let me start this?" He asked without looking up. "I hate this damn book and I can't put it down."

Reid ripped 'House of Leaves' out of his hands placing the massive tome facedown on the coffee table. He chuckled at Morgan's heartfelt thank you that was also expressed in kisses and before he could voice a thought he found himself under his lover. As he most times they were alone.

Actually the past three Saturdays had been pretty much the same. Morgan had wanted to stay indoors - just the two of them - just as much as he had. It was a nice relief after being on edge all week at work to get home and revel in the newness of being together.

Simple dinners with takeout and wine evolved into carnal encounters as the movies they ordered watched them instead of the other way round. In the wee hours Morgan would rouse Reid from his 'sex coma' as he so naughtily put it and make him eat the re-heated Chinese food. The Sunday after their first all-nighter, Reid had crawled zombie like from their rumpled bed. His eyes could barely open, as he attempted to navigate his surroundings.

Morgan woke as he was jumping around clutching his stubbed toe. "We sleep in on Sunday."

"Okay." Burrowing back under Morgan, Reid gratefully blacked out in the cocoon their bodies made underneath the comforter.

Today had to be different.

"You want to go out? _You!" _Morgan exclaimed after he had laid out his plan.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes."

"JJ told me about this club…"

"And to a club?" Morgan's incredulity was beginning to grate.

"It's a gay bar, for people like us – me." Reid had been with one girl and two guys enjoyed all three encounters at various levels. Did that make him gay or bisexual? The sex of the person never seemed as important as who he was with. Did that make him demi sexual?

"Reid?"

Apparently he was rumbling in his head. "Yes?"

"Which bar?"

"Oz! It is either a reconverted warehouse or found in the Warehouse district." He quoted JJ directly.

"The first one."

"You've been there?"

"Just the one time." If Reid weren't so preoccupied he would have noticed Morgan's aversion to the idea. "You really want to go? It's going to be loud and crowded."

Reid hid his shudder as the thoughts of sweaty strangers rubbing up against him made his skin crawl but he rallied. This could be fun. More for his partner than for him but he could compromise. After all Morgan endured his reruns of 'Ripley's Believe it or not' especially his continued mockery of the pseudo-archaeological series.

They could go for a couple of hours; he would dance while Reid waited for him at the bar. He welcomed the chance to be open with him in public, in an environment where they would not be considered abnormal. Watching Morgan dance would be a joy all on its own…except he might want Reid to dance too given how often he'd asked over the years. Dancing – make it two hours, closer to one. Enough debate. "Yeah. I want to go."

Loud.

Loud screeching that passed for music assaulted his eardrums.

Reid cleaved to Morgan as he cut a swathe through the sea of half naked writhing bodies, the floor beneath his feet sending vibrations up his legs jolting his spine with every step he took. He squinted, blinded by the flashing strobe lights that sent an array of rainbows and shapes over exposed skin, yanking his arm away when a naked torso rubbed up against him.

Navigating through the fevered masses took too long. By the time they found a table in a relatively quiet corner, he was ready to leave. Morgan looked happy so he smiled at him mentally counting down the minutes when he could escape. When a muscular blonde in little more than underwear, glitter and a wide smile came to take their order he flushed fixing his gaze to the floor.

A flash to his side caught his attention and he was irresistibly drawn to the spectacle on the dance floor as a small man in tight jeans was writhing between two hard bodies as the men's hands roamed under his clothes. He swallowed repeatedly wondering at the uninhibited display. There's no way he could ever let go enough to do something like that in public. Still he stared at them with a mixture of longing and embarrassment.

After their drinks were delivered Morgan hauled him into his lap. "We can do that if you want." He sucked on his lobe and blew into his ear. Reid shivered. He. Couldn't. Do. That.

An hour and four fruity drinks later he was doing it. His mind was fuzzy with alcohol and wanton lust as Morgan ground up against him in long sinuous strokes. Reid only had to hold on and breathe. A slave to his lover and his demanding cock, he moaned looking to Morgan for guidance when another body rubbed up against him from behind. Holding his head in his palm, Morgan kissed him, deep, dark, sweet making room for the other large man. It was just dancing and knowing Morgan would not allow it to go beyond that helped him relax. So he let go and sank into excess as four hands caressed his overheated body.

At some point he struggled free. "Reid?" Morgan called, snagging his upper arm when the sound barely dented the cacophony of instruments.

Launching back into his arms Reid gave him a voracious kiss full of promise before yelling 'bathroom' in his ear. He shook his head as Morgan tried to go with him. Their history of restraint in small spaces was nonexistent. As turned on as he was by the thought of getting fucked while a bunch of strangers listened in, the ratio of men in the club to the number of available commodes left him feeling queasy.

Reid burst into the bathroom. One inebriated patron fumbled with his zipper at one of the urinals before stumbling out to rejoin the party. Dancing out of his way, Reid walked to the mirrors of the mercifully empty bathroom. With every step his semi turgid cock rubbed up against damp boxers vividly recalling the debauched scene he's left behind. Heat spread up the back of his neck, the feeling of hard fingers still digging into his thighs. _God, he couldn't believe he'd done that. _

Attempting to wipe the ridiculous smile off his face, Reid flipped the faucet, the roar of water striking porcelain filling the room. Running his hands under the cool, clear spray, he breathed deeply waiting for the choking arousal dissipate. Cupping his hands in the torrent he splashed water on his face rubbing a wet palm back to cool his nape. Bending over he repeated the action trying to rush before Morgan came after him.

The acrid scent of tobacco tickled his nostrils as he stood up finding a blurry figure standing too close behind him. Reid blinked wiping the lingering droplets off his face.

"Hey" He murmured politely shuffling to the side as he made room for the stranger. He wasn't sure of all the rules of social conduct when it came to public facilities but the invasion of his personal space was just bad manners. His head a little clearer, Reid dried his hands tossing the paper towels into the wastebasket.

Turning he found the stranger had shifted back and was now blocking his exit. Wide troubled brown eyes met Reid's squarely as smoke plumed in the space between. There was something familiar about this man but he couldn't put his finger on it. He looked really sad, the downward droop to his lip distorting a handsome face. Protective instincts kicking in, Reid stepped forward. "Are you okay?"

The stranger swayed on shaky limbs flashing a painful grimace. Reid waited unsure whether he should head out the door and leave him alone. "Can I help you find your boyfriend? Friends? Anybody?"

"No. No. No." Pulling at his hair the young man turned away from him, muttering under his breath.

Okay, he was probably high. It was time to get out of there. Reid headed for the door.

"He has a way of making you feel – special. Doesn't he?" The bitter words stopped him and he turned back. "Like you are the only man in the world." Confusion skittered across the man's slim face, the lit cigarette flipped between his fingers in tight jerky motions scattering ash. "Derek. Derek fucking Morgan. The liar."

Reid's heart started to hammer as the vague feeling of knowing him took shape even as he recoiled from the unwanted knowledge. The tall rangy body, unruly curl, dark eyes…in the right light they could be - not twins but brothers at the very least. Morgan wouldn't…

Calling on every ounce of control he had Reid stepped forward to defend his boyfriend. "You're wrong about him."

Innocent confusion contorted into malicious intent and a heartbeat later, a white burning heat exploded across Reid's face as a solid fist struck his cheek, mashing his nose into his face. Unable to catch himself Reid fell back, crashing into the wall at his back and collapsing to the floor when he got back up the man was gone.

**Nannily – It's finally happening.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thank you - Jenny Crum, Sue1313, People Person I'm Not, Medeia456, Irishgirl9, Idontdanceigrind, Nannily, Combatcrazy, Classical E. Centric, MaryHell, Raeya, Medeia456, AlienTourist, Sweetteetwo and Scmdshipper19.**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 33**

Realizing he was alone Reid braced against the terracotta wall as the ringing in his ear threw him off-balance. Using his tongue he carefully explored the area where the force of the blow had split his bottom lip against his teeth finding coppery taste blooming on the spongy surface.

He staggered towards the mirror scrutinizing the wound under the bright light. It wasn't as bad as he expected, red and throbbing visibly but he wouldn't need any stitches. Nerve endings protested from the back of his head vying for first billing with the radiating heat coming off his cheekbone and nose. Reid shook his head to clear the fuzzy vision at the edges. Bile rose to the back of his throat at the jerky movement as the four cocktails he'd consumed threatened to reappear.

The connection between the nervous smoker and the cigarettes under Morgan's bed forced its way to the forefront of his mind and he retched over the sink in violent heaves. _The liar. The liar. The liar. Morgan. The liar. He was seeing someone. Not just anyone. A man. _Irrationally Reid focused on that little fact. _A man. _Every unvoiced insecurity and unacknowledged fear coalesced into the massive certainty that the day he'd been dreading had arrived. Morgan had moved on.

_But when did he have the time to be with someone else? They were together all the time. They were happy – or so he had thought. He was a fool for believing in him. People never really change. _Unchecked Reid's thoughts spun out of control, forging new pathways, aided along by self-doubt, lubricated by alcohol until he was sure that their entire relationship been a lie. Their deep connection completely built up in his desperate brain.

"Oh!" He groaned. What if Morgan thought they were still just friends who were sexually compatible? He never actually…No…

The door swung open blasting the room with music and a pair of lovers crowded into the bathroom joined at the lips. Their passionate kisses interspersed with drunken laughter grated, magnifying his headache. _What was he doing? He didn't belong here._ Panic clawed at his gut triggering his desire to get as far as he could as he rinsed out his mouth and practically run out desperate to get to the safety of his home.

Morgan craned his neck checking the long corridor that led to the bathrooms. Reid had been gone almost fifteen minutes. How long could it take the kid to take a leak? Maybe he got lost, although it was more likely he was throwing up after guzzling four cocktails. Morgan should have intervened way before he pried that last Hurricane out of the waiter's hands but Reid was relaxed finally having fun in a club and he didn't want to ruin it.

He scanned the rest of the room searching the bobbing heads in case Reid had wandered off. Finding no sign of him, he got up to begin the search. He would do the 'poor baby' thing then tease him in the morning. He was halfway across the room when he spotted him going for the exit. Morgan chased after him keeping an eye on his curly head; thankful for his height as calling his name was in vain.

He burst out in the cool night air throwing back a general apology for all the people he'd trampled in his haste. Reid wasn't at the curb. Spinning he checked one end of the street then the other catching his boy loping towards the corner his hand raised for a cab.

"Reid!" He yelled hurrying after him, laughing a little. He couldn't wait to share this little adventure with Garcia. "Good god, pretty boy. How wasted are you?" When there was no response he grabbed his upper arm dragging him round, getting a glimpse at his face before Reid twisted shielding his side.

"What the hell happened to your face? " Morgan demanded getting in front of him reaching for his cheek. "Who hit you? Is he still in there?" Simmering rage morphed into alarm as Reid leant out of his reach.

Morgan grabbed him again angling his face toward the flickering fluorescent sign. The discoloration was just starting to spread forming an ugly map on his face. "I shouldn't have let you go alone." Running his hands down his body Morgan checked the rest of him. The longer Reid went without speaking the more worked up he got. A couple of months ago someone had gotten sexually assaulted in the bathroom by a tweaker. They had beefed up their security but it was impossible to secure every area of the club. _Don't go there._ Morgna overrode his dread. "Please. Talk."

"How often do you come here?"

Surprised by the question he stared back at Reid who was glaring at him with hard eyes. "Not often." He drew out.

"One time."

"What?"

"When I asked you earlier, you said you'd been here 'Just the one time'." Reid said with an edge in his voice. "So which is it? Not often or just the one time?"

"Where the fuck is this coming from?" Morgan recoiled going on the defensive.

"You lied to me." Reid said dully.

"What difference does it make if I have been here before?" Somewhere inside he just wanted to come clean, admit that he'd practically lived here since they 'broke' up but once that door opened all the things he'd done would come tumbling out. He couldn't do it. Even if he was far from perfect, he felt that way when Reid looked at him.

His lover's eyes went hard again. "Because if you can lie about that simple then it wouldn't take a great leap for you to cheat."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

"Your _other_ boyfriend hit me in the face." Reid snapped.

"My what?" Morgan was pretty sure he was hallucinating because Reid's words were garbling together in his head into a stream of implausible crap. "I don't know what you are talking about." He stepped forward and as Reid swayed wincing. He must be in pain. Whoever hit him could wait until after they attended to his injuries.

"I want to go home." Reid insisted just as a yellow cab pulled up.

"Angel…"

"Do _not _call me that."

"Okay" Morgan indulged; speaking slowly like Reid was severely incapacitated. "Let's go home and we can talk about this."

Reid nodded deflating slightly. The uncertain look he gave Morgan breaking his heart. Determined to wipe out all doubt in his mind the moment they got home he opened the door to let him get in first.

"Derek."

Morgan turned as someone called his name, finding two slightly built men waggling their fingers at him. In less than a second the cab door slammed shut wrenching his wrist as Reid sped off without him.

Fuck!

xxXxx

Reid pressed the bag of frozen peas against his throbbing cheek hissing at the contact. His head hurt so bad that he'd stopped the cab at the nearest 24-hour drugstore. If anyone thought it odd for him to be perusing the shelves for a mild painkiller with the icy vegetables he'd picked up next door they didn't say anything. He wandered up and down the aisle reading the back of the labels debating between brands until he decided to just head home since it was unwise for him to take any with the amount of alcohol he had ingested.

Halfway to the exit he shuffled back deciding to make one last purchase. It was while he was rounding the first wooden display that he heard him laugh.

_No. No. No._ His mind screeched in denial. _Not tonight._

Peeking around the corner, Reid had his worst fear confirmed. Alex. With another man. His hand resting on the small of his back and he was smiling. Happy.

Instinctively Reid dropped to a crouch desperate to get out of there. Mapping a route out he proceeded slowly cursing Morgan for putting him in this position, Alex for being so happy and most of all himself. He cringed remembering how smug he'd been beneath the sadness when he'd left Alex, so sure that he'd done the right thing. Now he crawled for the exit, ignoring the stares of the now curious customers, weighed down by a battered face and a cheating boyfriend.

"Spencer?"

So close.

Tossing shame to the wind Reid dumped the peas and run.

Out of breath, he collapsed to a stone bench resting his elbows on his knees. Behind him the three-tiered fountain gave a few halfhearted spurts, springing in and out of life much like his heart. Clutching his pounding head in his hands he was only mildly surprised when a warm body slid in next to him.

"It's nice to see Murphy's Law in full effect." Reid snapped bitterly trying to cover his injuries. "How did you find me?"

"I followed you." Alex said simply ungluing his hand from his face. Reid held still as he inspected the bruised skin with gentle hands. "What happened to your face?" He asked fussing in the paper bag and pulling out an instant cold pack.

The ice pack made an audible crack and as Alex placed it on his face he leaned into it gratefully, the infernal throbbing receding. Leaving him free to think, to lie.

"I fell." Reid muttered dodging his eyes.

"Yeah right. What really happened?"

Alex's concern made him feel warm and it galled him because he was just like everyone else pretending to love him. Reid had called him thrice over the past few weeks only to be put on indefinite hold by his assistant. The memory of it stung. "You don't need pretend that I matter to you." Reid said withdrawing into sullen silence. Alex didn't care about him especially not with his new boyfriend sitting a short distance away. _What was so wrong with him that he could be so easily replaced? Forgotten? First Morgan, now this._

"You know me better than that." The barely used pack dropped to the space between them. Alex's hand hovered over his knee. The hesitation between them brand new. Reid squirmed as guilt wove in. This was his fault; he was the one that screwed up. Now he was acting out…

What could he say except the words he'd wanted to say a thousand times? "I am sorry for everything. I -."

"I know you are." Alex cut him off. "So am I."

Reid inhaled sharply as the cool hand finally landed on his knee. It may not be forgiveness – not that he deserved it but it helped.

"Where's Derek?"

Just like that misery collapsed in on Reid again. "You were right about him." He choked out.


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 33**

Alex gave his knee a long squeeze then withdrew his hand. "I shouldn't have said that to you. Your relationship is none of my business. Though in my defense you'd just blindsided me with a break up."

Reid scrubbed a hand over his face. "Are you saying you were wrong?"

"Spence, I barely know the guy. He's your friend."

"But…your observation was accurate. He dates - has dated - a lot."

"He's single. How else is he going to meet anyone?"

Reid clenched his fists sliding away from him; anger and disappointment flooding his oversaturated system. "I can't believe you are taking his side."

"Sides? You think I'm taking sides?" Alex pushed off the bench towering over him. "I'm not taking sides and if I were, I'd be on my side. Mine. The side you defected to be with him."

He laughed, a hard bitter sound. "Now I'm out here chasing after you, ruining my date because I loved you once and no matter how badly things ended with us I can't leave you out here bleeding the way you left me."

"You weren't bleeding when I left." Reid pointed out, unsure what to say.

"It's a METAPHOR!"

Reid shrunk from his rage, biting his lip at the accompanying glare he received. Glancing at the man a little ways away who was now watching them openly, Alex shook his head and strode off.

Sitting up, Reid wandered what to do. This whole night was an emotional minefield and he was setting off bombs all over the place. In the distance, Alex's shoulders tightened then released as he took several deep breaths until finally like a man setting down a heavy burden he visibly relaxed then turned back and up to him. Making room for him as he collapsed to the stone bench, Reid held his tongue and waited for him to speak so he would know how to proceed.

"This is why I didn't take your calls. I promised myself I'd be calm, sensible, stoic when we talked again… I had a whole plan." He rubbed his palms on his pants. "You hurt me."

Reid met his gaze, grateful for the dark shadows of the night that hid his intense blue stare. There was no escape from this adult conversation that was dragging him kicking and screaming into sobriety as yet another bomb exploded over his head. There was nothing to say. What could he say?

"Don't say anything." Alex preempted. "Let this be the last time we _ever_ talk about this."

Smiling faintly, Reid scooched down resting his heavy head on the cold stone. "You've never yelled at me before." He remarked curiously. "It was strangely freeing."

"Good." Alex mimicked his action, the inky black sky staring back at them. "Now what happened to your face?" He interrupted himself. "But no details please. We are not there yet."

A couple of seconds later, Alex gaped at him. "_You_ went to a club?"

"I did and I was having a great time." Reid grinned. A great time was an understatement. "Up until the blitz attack that culminated in a minor head injury."

"Still doesn't explain how you ended up out here alone." Alex prodded.

"The guy that hit me knew Morgan. Intimately. I think he attacked me because I was with him."

"What did Derek say?"

"I didn't ask – I had to get away."

As if sensing his discomfort, Alex backed off. "My advice for whatever it's worth; couples fight. It doesn't mean anything. Don't get all worked up before you know all the facts."

"You and I never fought."

"Yeah and that should have been my first clue that we weren't right for each other" He gave a rueful grin. "You two love each other. You'll be fine."

Reid nodded. He did love Morgan, intensely, completely. He was almost positive Morgan loved him too even if he'd never actually said the words. He demanded Reid's love, reveled in it but never echoed the sentiment back. Derek said a lot of sweet things but no matter how much genuine emotion he poured into his 'almost words' they fell short of an actual I love you. No wonder Reid's confidence in him had been so easily shaken.

"But…"

"Spencer, our friendship is new. It will take awhile before I can build up a tolerance for your new relationship." Alex stood once again. "However I will tell you this; 'It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.'"

Reid frowned plucking the image of his mother reading to him out of memory. "That quote is from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's book, The Little Prince. It's a children's book."

"I know it's a children's book." Alex said sounding extremely frustrated. "You are missing the spirit of the quote.

"I don't understand."

"If you don't put any faith in him or yourself, you might as well end your relationship now because you won't make it."

"Oh." Reid tucked his suddenly cold hands into his pants pockets. "You had faith in me and I let you down."

"I don't regret the time we spent together and in the future we can get together. Talk. My company's annual quiz bowl is coming up I could use that brain of yours on my team."

"Can't he help you?" Reid tilted his chin in the direction of the man in the distance, acknowledging him for the first time.

"Eli's better with his hands. It's a different kind of genius."

"Is that sexual innuendo?"

"Yes and no." Alex snickered. "Eli is a pastry chef. Speaking of which, this is pretty bad behavior for a date. Please get up so we can take you home."

Reid took the proffered hand and let Alex drag him to his feet. His head felt clearer and he managed to get through meeting Eli with minimal stammering. On the ride home he tuned out of the conversation the two men upfront were having and pondered the value of faith. He didn't believe in much but he trusted Morgan with his life on a daily basis, how much of a leap would it really take to trust him with everything else?

"We are here."

Reid glanced up absently finding two pairs of quizzical eyes on him. Home! Yes! Nodding at Alex's 'I'll call you.' He gave a brief thank you and stepped out of the car. As the roar of the expensive engine speeding off into the distance faded in the heavy air, he checked his phone. He raised the lit screen to his face in disbelief finding it was close to 4am. Seems time also flew by when you weren't having fun. Tripping up the pathway he fished his keys out of his pants, wondering if it was too late to call his boyfriend.

When a shadow detached from the side of the building he careened back only settling when he saw who it was.

"God! Morgan, you scared me." Reid said weakly, clutching his chest waiting for his racing heart to slow down, instead it seemed to have speeded up for a whole other reason. Morgan's silence magnified his nerves, dragging the compulsive peacemaker out of him.

"I shouldn't have run off." He started by way of apology babbling in the continuing silence. "I'm sorry. I may have overreacted given the circumstances…" When Morgan didn't say anything he worried. "You could have waited inside."

"Are you going to run to him every time we have a problem?"

"What?" Reid's conciliatory mood dissolved. "How dare you!"

Morgan stepped forward grabbing his arm possessively. "Reid?"

"No!" He wrenched his arm from the firm grasp. "This is not about Alex. It's about you." He gestured at his face. "You did this. If you can't even muster up an ounce of regret for the pain you caused me then you should just go home."

Furious, Reid stormed up the stairs cursing the whole time. Sweeping into his apartment he slammed the door behind him. Fuck his neighbors and the world, if he had to be up then so did they.

Riffling through his drawers he found his pajama bottoms and retreated to the bathroom pulling the constricting smoky clothes off his clammy skin. With every article he removed he cursed Morgan. Climbing into the steamy shower, he dipped his shaggy head under the hot spray but t did little to calm him down and he emerged angrier than before. Toweling down with brusque rough strokes, he managed to get dressed and brush his teeth in between bouts of vehement cursing.

Reid was tugging furious at the string around his waist, knotting and re-knotting it into a coiled tangle, the bathroom door snicked shut behind him and he dropped his hands in defeat. Bed, he needed sleep. The same bed which Morgan now occupied larger than life.

"Hear me out." He asked from his perch at the foot of the large bed.

Shooting him an icy glare, Reid tried to walk around him. Except Morgan's hand was on his wrist and he was dragging him to stand between his outspread thighs. It took tremendous effort to just stand still when every molecule in Reid's body wanted to crawl into his lap and weep.

"I am so sorry." Morgan rumbled on his belly.

That's all it took four words. Four words and Reid's anger leaked out of him leaving him weak kneed, spent. Fuck his heart, his stupid, stupid heart!

"I would never deliberately hurt you." Morgan's big hands brushed up his sides until they cupped his face.

There it was. Never _deliberately_.

"You gotta believe me." Morgan gave him a little shake.

Reid nodded. "I do." And he did. Standing within the circle of his arms he believed everything and anything. Resting his hands on his shoulders, Reid said "Tell me about him."

Morgan didn't pretend to misunderstand for which he was thankful. For a moment he rested his forehead on Reid's abdomen, then he looked back up at him and said, "Them."

"Oh!" Reid could hardly think over the clamoring that had started up again inside of him. Even before he'd gotten a handle on it, his faith was being tested. He needed to sit down.

"It's not a long, new or interesting story." Morgan started, his hand twined with Reid's as if he was afraid he might run. "You left me to be with him and I drank and slept around. A lot."

"How many people is a lot?"

"Honestly, I don't remember and I don't want to remember." He looked at Reid expectantly, probably hoping he would stop him but Reid's eyes dropped to the dark fingers laced with his and he pushed through the doubt. He had to know or he'd spend the rest of his life wondering.

"I want to know everything. Like…um..did they all look like me?"

"Yes." Morgan said simply, sincerity shining out of his brown eyes. "I missed you and I wanted to have you back anyway I could. Even if it was wrong."

"Did it help?

"Yes. But it didn't last because they were not you."

Biting on his tongue to keep from smiling, Reid nodded. Morgan loved him, he had to.

An hour later, Reid's head lolled off the foot of his bed. Morgan sat at his feet leaning against the headboard talking, like he had been for what felt like months. Six months to be exact. The convoluted story line, tempered with bouts of alcoholic delusion, zigged in and out of sense and Reid's head spun from trying to follow it. Through the telling he'd found himself equal parts flattered, horrified and intimidated. Most of all he was tired, so very tired.

"Oh God! Enough." Reid whined, interrupting Morgan's current story. A story that he was almost sure was about a bear. "I can't listen to this anymore."

"Do you want me to go?" Morgan asked quietly.

"No. I just realized that all this has nothing to do with us. It's in the past, right?"

He giggled when Morgan grabbed his foot and dragged him to the middle of the bed and covered him with his body.

"It is in the past." Morgan answered earnestly. "I want you to know that you weren't ever supposed to get hurt. Ever."

"I know." _Never deliberately_. Reid wriggled under him, getting comfortable in his place. "I am not the only one you hurt. That guy tonight…he looked so confused. Devastated."

"I will fix it. I promise." Morgan tilted his chin back his eyes softening as he pushed the hair back from his face, his hand gentle. His warm lips brushed against his, firm, sure. Reid parted his lips inviting him in for a deep kiss.

Mid passion, Reid tossed his head back. "Aw!" He moaned laughing into Morgan's mouth as his lip started to throb with renewed fury.

Morgan smiled back kissing his forehead. "Let's get you to bed."

Reid rolled to his side as Morgan left to clean up. Using his foot he reached for a plump pillow tucking it under his head his eyes slipping closed. A grin tugged his mouth pulling at the split lip but he wouldn't stop smiling despite the pain. He was happy.

Maybe it was what Alex said about faith. What was essential could be invisible to the eye. At that moment for the strangest reason he thought of his car and about how he was better with words the same way Morgan was better with actions.

"Hey I was thinking about my car…" He started when Morgan came out.

"Baby, I told you I will take care of it and I swear I will. You won't have to do a thing."

Reid twisted trying to follow his progress across the room. "I mean that Christine is really old and instead of buying new tires I should just get a new car."

"Are you kidding? No don't ruin this. I knew I would wear you down." Morgan said with excitement. Searching through his discarded jeans he popped back up with his iPhone and stretched out next to Reid in his boxers. Reid just watched with amusement as he accessed a website with a bunch of cars and started pointing them out and extolling their virtues.

"Check this out, adaptive headlamps, blind spot monitoring city safety and Pedestrian Detection low-speed collision avoidance, high-speed collision warning/avoidance and lane-departure warning. You could not be safer if I wrapped you in cotton and carried you to and from work."

Reid snorted squinting at the screen without his glasses was giving him a headache. "What?"

"Don't interrupt me baby. I'm on a roll."

"You interrupt me all the time."

"That's also for your own personal safety not everyone is as fond of being corrected as I am."

Reid huffed and slid down his head cushioned on Morgan's chest. His eyes slipping closed and his heart heard what it needed to, I love you, I need you. I would be lost without you. Please don't die in that rust bucket you call a car. The actual words would come it didn't matter when as long as he felt loved right now.

"This one has a driver alert control system that detects when the driver is tired or distracted." Morgan continued. "Reid?"

"It's Sunday." Reid murmured without opening his eyes kissing the part of Morgan's chest he could reach. "We sleep in on Sunday."

"Yes _we_ do." After a moment he nudged him. "Reid?"

"I love you." He said automatically. Morgan lips kissed his forehead in response.

xxxxx

_**I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.**_

_**I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;**_

_**So I love you because I know no other way**_

_**than this: where I does not exist, nor you,**_

_**so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,**_

_**so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.**_

_**Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda**_


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**I have missed this story.**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 35**

"I can't believe you volunteered for us to come here." Reid's ears reddened at the memory. "Hotch gives the assignments not you." The collective looks and smirks that had been thrown their way on the jet when Morgan interrupted Hotch offering to check out the sex shop all three victims had frequented. And take Reid with him for his _expertise_.

"Me? Pretty boy, you're the one watching porn in the dead of night with me right next to you!"

"It was _not_ porn!" Reid whispered furiously. "Shibari evolved from the ancient Japanese _artistic _form of rope bondage which originated as a kind of prison imprisonment and torture device performed by the Samurai in the 1400's."

"Huh! So it's like porn for geniuses." Morgan pretended to be mulling it over. "All that history get you off?"

"I was _not_ getting off." Reid gnashed his teeth. "I was doing research."

"Right?" Morgan gave him a sly wink. "Research."

"I – I –" Swallowing back his protests, Reid glared at him then headed to the back of the store. He would have shaken his fist at him if he wasn't a grown up and you know – not a cartoon character even though sometimes it felt like the only appropriate response to Morgan's relentless teasing.

Muttering to himself, Reid barreled down the brightly lit store. _It had been research dammit._ Sure he might have drifted from the original content in his search for answers – drifted really far – his hand chasing down answers on darker websites faster than his brain could devour…damn Morgan! This was his fault.

Unconsciously Reid rubbed at his neck, the throbbing restarting at his probing touch. He traced the fading indentations, biting down on his lower lip wondering if it was possible to become addicted to a person? Not addicted to the way Derek made him feel, that happened all the time, but addicted to him. Just him…and the sex. God! Reid tugged at his collar shamefaced and looked around, sure his thoughts were being broadcast to all the people left in the store.

Reaching a dead end, Reid twisted and turned lost in a maze of colorful sex toys each one more anatomically impossible than the last. Their suggestive lines triggering his craving for skin on skin, wet sucking kisses, teeth…stop thinking!

Drowning, he spun round bumping into Morgan's hard chest. "You okay?" Flashing him a wicked grin, he leaned over and whispered. "You look flushed."

"Morgan" Reid whined, "Stop." He thought he said stop, whatever spilled out of his mouth was several yeses. Right. Addicted. It made sense he did have an addictive personality: sugar, coffee, dilaudid…the very best one was scraping his teeth under his ear. Reid shuddered tossing his head back. A high-pitched squeak escaped his parted lips and his eyes popped open as Morgan started to laugh.

Shoving him away, Reid scowled scanning their intimate space. Luckily the cameras were only placed outside the store in order to give customers a modicum of privacy. But they were still in public, on a case. This was madness.

Unconcerned, Morgan started to browse the merchandise.

"What are you doing?" Reid hissed.

"As long we are here we might as well pick up some stuff."

"Stu-ff!" Agitated Reid glanced around again. "We don't need stuff."

"How about these?" Morgan held out a fiendish looking pair of metal teeth.

"I don't know what that is."

"Nipple clamps."

Reid's hands flew up to shield his own. "No." He screeched, ignoring the emphatic yes from his body. He liked some pain with his sex but those things looked like they'd rip his nipples right off. A shame seeing as he'd long since answered the question of why men have nipples. Answer: so they could make him very, very happy.

Studying his stance, Morgan dropped them and headed for the dildo selection.

"No! No! No!" Reid's protests fell on deaf ears as Morgan picked up the double-ended phallus that had stalled the genius' escape. "I don't think we are allowed to pick them up. Morgan." He moaned checking out the store. He was sure they were going to get thrown out. God! This was a bad idea.

"Lighten up, sweetie!" Giving him an impish grin, Derek turned back to the display picking up a squat object that looked like it'd been curved from jello. Strawberry jello.

Reid backed away, wild heat climbing up his spine. "I am going to go question the proprietor."

"Already talked to him while you were here _not _gawking at this truly impressive array of cock."

"Derek!" Blushing furiously, Reid turned jostling a nearby shelf. He didn't see the blow up doll until it floated practically into his arms, the gaping mouth suggestive, obscene.

Tossing it aside he headed for the exit, a few chuckles chasing him. Great now he was drawing ridicule from the other customers, even the man in the ass-less chaps had the nerve to laugh.

"Is that your man?" Floated through the air reaching him and he paused ever so slightly to catch Morgan's "Yes. He's a little shy."

It took monumental effort for Reid to wipe the smile off his face; it kept creeping up the sides turning him into a Joker grin wearing, love-struck loon. He turned to hide his face when Morgan climbed into the SUV.

"You're incorrigible." He berated. "We should have been carrying out a more in-depth analysis of our surrounding, not flirting."

"Oh! You love me." Morgan dismissed.

"One of these days I won't." Reid swore turning further to his side when Morgan tilted his head searching for his eyes. "Any second now." He whispered into the clear glass, a bad idea since he caught Morgan's reflection and his resolve faltered. "Stop smiling. I'm not going to forgive you every time you smile at me."

"The same way you give me the eyes and expect me to drop the world and attend to every depraved need dreamt up by your overeducated brain?"

Gasping, Reid faced him. "I do not do that." He couldn't be held responsible for the crazy things his body did around his lover.

"Cue the lips." Morgan said moving closer.

_What?_

Morgan's hand slid up his face, big thumb pulling at the lip set between Reid's teeth. Reid colored, realizing he'd been biting down on his lower lip, sucking on it really.

"How are you still doing that?" Morgan murmured, staring at him as if at an intricate puzzle he was failing to solve. "After everything we've done, how can you still look so innocent?"

Reid went to explain how his body was doing things without his consent but Morgan covered his lips, kissing him slowly, deeply. Wonderful, powerful emotions surged through him as he threw himself into the man he loved, giving everything.

He wanted more but it wouldn't be enough and he'd walk around all day unable to concentrate with the desperate craving itching just below his skin. Pulling away, Reid sighed, a small laugh following soon after. "We should get going."

"Then stop looking at me." Derek teased.

Smiling, Reid sunk back into his seat just as Morgan's phone rang. Tensing he dreaded one of two phone calls; Garcia saying she'd finally tracked out the man that assaulted him or Morgan's mom. He always sent the latter straight to voicemail when they were together.

Morgan rejected the call. Reid clung to his side not yet sure how he felt about this particular turn of events.

"You ready?" Morgan wore his seatbelt.

_Was he ever?_ "Yes"

"Before I forget, I got you something." Morgan pulled a brightly colored package out of his jacket pocket and passed it to him.

_He loved presents._ Reid ripped through the flimsy paper until a small glittery bottle fell into his lap. "Flavored lube?" He flipped it reading the back. "Licorice. I hate licorice."

"You'll love the way I'll use it." With a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows, Morgan floored it.


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Oh thanks you guys! I love ya! – JennyCrum, Idontdanceigrind, Guest, Silverfox588, Sue1313, Sweetteetwo, Medeia456, Raeya and of course Nannily.**

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**Guest – This should answer your lube question.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 36**

"Ok?"

Reid swallowed then nodded rapidly. His shaking hands braced on the thick firm surface, knees spread digging in deep. Cuffs rattled as the cold metal sliced through his wrists providing a sharp contrast to the heat pouring off his naked body in waves.

"You remember the rules?"

Clamping his lips tight, he nodded again. No talking. No sound of any kind or he'd get punished. _With that._ Out of the corner of his eye, he chased the vicious knotted whip as it snaked across deep red cotton. He flinched as nine leather strands climbed over his arms trailing down his back. Feather light, one lone braided strand dipped into his splayed butt cheeks and he bit back his gasp just in time.

Morgan chuckled darkly tossing the flogger to the side. "You won't last."

Reid watched it land at the edge then topple out of sight, the brief threat gone with it. Throwing him a confident smirk, Reid wriggled back impatient, big hands running up and down his flanks. 'Start already' he wanted to scream, his look conveying the same.

"What did I say about you topping from the bottom?"

Reid shivered dropping his head, the low threatening growl dancing over his exposed flesh. Morgan's hands dropped away leaving him achingly bereft. His heart hammering in his chest, ears perked for movement.

"Pushy, pushy bottom!" He heard before the hard fully clothed body draped across his back, skinny arms buckled as a bold hand swiped over the head of his swollen cock. Throwing his head back, Reid bit down hard on his bottom lip swallowing needy moans.

"Baby" Morgan rumbled in his ear. "If you don't follow my rules then I have to break yours."

No! Reid met his eyes awash in panic, mouth opening and closing. He had one rule: no biting on the neck. It always pushed him over the edge too fast and he wanted this to last. The threat of the cat o' nine tails mastered by a domineering lover who would never actually hurt him…he was living his fantasy. If Morgan bit him, he wouldn't – wouldn't – argh! Bright white teeth sunk into his neck, digging into his skin. Reid's balls drew up tight, cock painfully erect as fire raced down his nape exploding in his nerve endings.

Reid's arms gave as he collapsed face first onto the bed escaping the tormenting hands and teeth. Struggling for control, he bit down, copper blooming on his tongue. His hips hovered over the comforter; ass still stuck in the air, any touch to his drooling cock would set him off. _Don't come._ He begged silently before he dissolved into an incoherent mess trying to stave off orgasm. Complex equations streaked through his mind finally evolving into the one repressed memory of walking in on his Aunt Ethel changing when he was eleven. It worked like a charm, leaving him gasping but unfulfilled.

"Looks like you're learning some control." Morgan hauled him back to his knees stroking his hair gently. Reid leaned into the caress, victorious in his triumph. "You gonna be good now, baby?"

Reid nodded, purrs building in his throat. He loved that tone.

"Much better" Derek praised, beginning to nibble down his spine, sharp stinging bites soothed by his hot mouth. "God you're beautiful!"

With every biting kiss, Reid tugged at the clunky chains attached to their FBI issue handcuffs. Each one circled one of his wrists fastening him securely to the sturdy headboard. He squirmed, sensation buzzing with every touch, aching for release. Every new touch and scrape on his hard nipples fogging his mind. He wanted to scream and beg. Harsh breath tore through his lungs when Morgan draped back over him the bare skin of his chest burning his, starting the erotic torture all over again.

Sharp nips trailed from Reid's nape to the small of his back, a hot tongue drawing circles on his skin lingering then it dipped. An enunciated 'Fuck!' preceded a sharp nip on his left butt cheek. "You make me so hot, baby! My hot fucking angel."

Rocking back ever so slightly, Reid let his body do the begging. As the popped cap echoed loud in the silence, his beating heart sped up, inaudible gasps tearing out of his chest. The faintest whiff of licorice assaulted his senses and he jerked involuntarily as slick fingers coated his crack, thumbing his pucker. Reid swayed lightheaded, letting out a silent broken moan, blood torn between rushing to his face from his flooded groin as the tip of Morgan's tongue touched his rim.

_OhGodOhGodOhGod!_

_That wasn't supposed to feel so…Oh GOD! _His brain stopped atanother swipe on his throbbing entrance. Breathing harshly Reid dropped his head to his elbows, feeling his orgasm rush towards him at the foreign sensation. Spreading his legs wider he begged for more, the talented mouth tormenting the tight ring, sucking at his hole until he was a wanton desperate wreck.

He was shocked when "Derek!" fell out of his scratched throat and clamped lips in feminine lilt. Popping up when it happened again.

"Morgan?" He wheezed.

"You lose." Morgan mumbled muffled, the rough burr of his whiskers on Reid's soft sensitive almost undoing him.

"Morgan?" He insisted. "Who's that?"

Morgan sat up with his teasing grin, blanching at the next call of his name. "Christ! That's my mom."

"What?" Reid shrieked. "You gave her a key?"

"Gave? She _took_ a key." Morgan hissed just as desperately. Scrambling off the bed he picked up the discarded shirt dragging it onto his broad shoulders and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Derek?" Reid twisted still firmly cuffed to the headboard. "I need the keys."

"To my place?" Morgan popped back into the open doorway, mouthwash in one hand.

"No, to these." Reid pulled at his wrists, the cuffs rattled but did not give. "Morgan!" He moaned when his boyfriend disappeared again. He spotted the keys, tiny shiny, from where they'd been discarded less than an hour ago. Lying on his side he ignored the burning in his left shoulder from the awkward angle and stretched out his leg towards his target. Just then Morgan reappeared still looking flustered. "Morgan. Keys." He said firmly.

Just then another 'Derek' filled the air. She was close.

Moving fast, Morgan threw the keys toward the bed and vanished out the door. Reid followed the keys as they sailed through the air, smacked the wall above him and dropped behind the bed.

_Shiiiittt!_

"Great!" Reid murmured. "Just great." Outstretched, he collapsed back to the bed wondering how long he'd have to be trussed up for before he got rescued.

He cursed his luck. What was with everybody's parents bursting in unannounced? His mom would never…well she was locked up in a sanitarium in Las Vegas and his dad was - gone…moving on. First Alex, now Morgan? At least he'd been dressed the first time, wriggling he wrinkled his nose at the slick icky feeling within his crack. He giggled then caught his breath remembering why – Morgan's tongue on him there – maybe next time he could lie on his back and watch him. Was that possible? He worked through the logistics of next time this would happen again.

Next time. _After you meet his mom, his mom who doesn't know that he's bisexual or about you. His mom who sets him up with random women every time she's in town_ – Jerking to his knees, packed with resolve Reid peeped over the edge ignoring the pain. He had to find that key.

Morgan shuffled down the hallway towards the kitchen where he knew he'd find his mom. Pausing in the doorway he rubbed his palms over his face, trying for normal. What was normal after your mother almost busted you with your tongue buried in another man's ass? He took a deep breath, psyching himself up for the coming conversation. Oh God! Why wasn't it working?

"Honey, what are you doing?"

He spun round meeting her puzzled gaze. "Mama." He greeted still being held up by the wall next to him.

"Well…" She quirked a brow at him, a look Desiree frequently copied without the same effect. "Get over here and say hello."

Morgan gave her a brief embrace, ignored the proffered cheek and darted back. _You know where your mouth has been._ Circling the island, he opened cabinets getting out cups and the Darjeeling tea that only she drank. Finally with the kettle on and no more busy work he turned reluctantly.

"Sit" She pointed at the chair across from her.

"Yes ma'am." Slipping into it he met the calm stare then squirmed focusing on a speck on the floor listening for the whistle of the kettle, thinking she could have taught interrogation techniques in Quantico. He should ask about his family, try and seem normal. Humph! Normal. The absurd urge to giggle crawled up his throat. With his luck Reid would come tumbling in at any second.

With a put upon sigh, she started. "This is like that time you snuck that mangy old rat into the house when I forbade you to have a puppy."

"I was five." Morgan objected. "And I thought it was a small, sick, mostly hairless dog." By the time he was through with his defense she was laughing.

"The point is you hid from me, same way you're doing now." She gave him a knowing look. "The last time you were acting this crazy…"

_Buford._

It's like she sensed his discomfort and just dropped it.

"I just need you to look me in the eye and tell me you're okay. I'm not going to ask who you are hiding in your bedroom. I'm not even going to ask why you smell like candy."

Morgan leaned back. _Man, the strong scent and taste of licorice really lingered._

"Ma! You could have called."

"Well lately you can't be bothered to pick up phone calls from your mother." She gave him another look. Pause for guilt trip. "Are you okay?"

Morgan took a deep breath at the loaded question. He could continue hiding Reid and his sexuality or he could just tell her. "I'm seeing someone." The words popped out of his mouth in the middle of his debate. At the excited flare in her eyes he rushed in interrupting the flood of questions that would involve several female pronouns. "_He's_ in the bedroom."

Crossing his arms, he braced for a torrent of rejection or acceptance but all she said was one laden, "Oh!"

"Oh?"

"How long has this been going on?"

The damn kettle finally shrieked but Morgan was glued to his seat. "A few weeks." He mumbled. It was the simplest answer without going into the whole shady 'friends with benefits' details.

"Is this what you want for life?"

He knew she meant homosexuality and all the challenges that came with it.

Morgan didn't even need to think about it. There was no doubt that his skinny genius was exactly what he wanted. Forever. "I love him." A faint smile replaced the ache in his chest. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud. Cymbals and bells should have been going off, as places inside him that he didn't know still doubted, settled.

"That's it then." His mother said. The massive revelation must have thrown him off cause it took him a while to realize she was leaving.

"Mama" He caught up with her at the door. "You can not just leave without saying anything."

"Honey," She patted his cheek and gave him a sad smile. "I need to think."

Growing up, Morgan had heard those words enough to know that it meant she needed time to process. She wouldn't be rushed; no amount of argument would hurry her opinion along. It was both better and worse than an outright rejection. A sudden band constricted his chest, he could hardly breathe. He missed his dad so much. _He_ would yell or cry at least you would know exactly where you stood.

"You know I love you." She said.

"I love you too." He murmured, closing the door behind her.

A sharp burst of laughter tore out of him when he walked back into his bedroom and he clutched at the doorjamb surprised he could be this happy, this soon.

"You left me." Reid whined from the position he'd contorted into. He grumbled for a while then said, "Help me. The keys fell under the bed."

Still chuckling Morgan retrieved them, making quick work of the cuffs. Reid's wrists were scraped raw from all his struggling. "Baby, I'm sorry." He traced the abrasions. "I didn't mean to leave you."

"Is she still out there?" Reid whispered, then bit down on his swollen lip. "Are you meeting them – her for dinner?"

"No. I – uh – told her about us."

"Us?" Reid's jaw dropped. "You told your mom? About me?" Morgan could see the wheels turning in his head; every emotion from excitement to sheer joy laid bare. It was heartbreaking to see the hope bleed out of his eyes when no other words were forthcoming. Words like she's right outside and she's dying to meet you again. "Oh!" He mumbled, and then he rallied, his hand grabbing Morgan's. "I'm sorry."

"She will come around." Morgan promised. "She just needs time to think." Kissing him quick, he got up.

"Morgan?" Reid clung to his arm.

"I'm alright pretty boy. I just gotta clean you up." Morgan paused on his way to the bathroom and smiled. "On the upside, I think we just united in your hatred of licorice." There no way he'd ever think of it again without thinking of his mom.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**Thanks you amazing people – Silverfox588, Medeia456, IdontdanceIgrind, Jennycrum, SmcdsShipper19, Nannily, Sue1313, PinkHimLacus, Combatcrazy, Delia Cerrano, Wolfpawn, Shematthewholic, AlienTourist, Raeya, SweetTeeTwo, and Wolfpawn**

**Amalia21-6 – It's nice to see you get an account or finally log in. Either way I love you for rereading the story again.**

**XxZessxX – Thank you so much for that detailed review. I absolutely loved it. Welcome.**

**WTF – Reread chapter 1. Reid never says he has to lose his virginity to someone he cares about. He was scared. He needed someone he trusted to show him the ropes. It was about necessity, not love.**

**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 37**

Sitting on the king size bed, Reid leaned back into the mound of pillows picking at the tan Ace bandages encircling both his wrists. As always Morgan had gone above and beyond to take care of him treating the mini abrasions like a major injury until Reid looked like a suicidal teen held together by tape and depression.

He pulled back the elastic for the third time in under an hour just to be sure that ragged determined cuts didn't lie beyond it. Tucking his feet under him, he tugged at the edges, the hum from the television slipping through the open door.

Scooting down he dragged the thick comforter over his head drowning out the sound of a pompous talk show host and muffled laughter. It was the sound of Morgan's misery and more importantly a sign that he didn't know how to console him.

Since his mom left, Morgan had picked up Clooney, watched a basketball game, they'd gone out for dinner to a Mexican restaurant that had live entertainment with the car radio blaring all the way to and from there and now he was watching TV. They hadn't really talked about his mother's hasty exit and Reid had been grateful for the distraction because he didn't know what to say or do.

Every family was unique in the way they communicated and related to each other, it was a connection built over years of interaction, dependence, love, and forgiveness. Even if Reid were made privy to all the events starting from Morgan's birth up to now, all the subtle emotional familial nuances would be forever lost to him because he was an outsider.

Reid's own family was a mystery to him. How could he presume to understand Derek's? He had no relationship with his father and while he mentioned Morgan in all his letters to his mom, most days she barely acknowledged it or him. Given her deteriorating mental condition he was grateful for the few and far between lucid days when she expressed happiness that he had met someone, he was in love and he was finally happy. Which he still was. Even though he now found it impossible to shake the odd shameful feeling that he was doing something wrong.

So he cowered in the bedroom wasting time on conjecture to distract from the fact that Morgan was sad and he didn't know how to fix it, a situation that it could be argued was partly Reid's fault.

Shoving the bedding to his feet, he dragged himself into an upright position compulsively rechecking the bandages, shocked that they weren't gushing his lifeblood as old fears of abandonment resurfaced like stab wounds to his heart.

Leaving the bedroom, he lingered just inside the living room where Morgan lay sprawled on the wide couch. "Hey. Did I wake you?"

"I'm sorry." Reid whispered to his feet. "I ruined your life."

"Spencer, this isn't your fault." Clooney threw him a sleepy glare as Morgan sat up.

"It is. If I hadn't insisted on changing our relationship then your family wouldn't have rejected you."

"Baby," Morgan motioned him closer. "They haven't rejected me. My sisters called, Sara was great, and Desiree insisted on sharing the hair-raising story of the one time she experimented in college. A story that no brother should ever have to hear." He complained looking up at Reid with a frown. "They called over dinner. You were right there."

"Oh!" Reid had no memory of one phone call, let alone two. He had been too busy imploding.

"You weren't listening, were you?"

"The mariachi band was really close to my seat."

"Uh huh!" Morgan laughed seeing right through him. "Well, you don't have to worry they're good and I especially love them for overcompensating for my mom's reaction by being _weirdly_ supportive."

"So? What about your mom?" Reid perched on the edge of the couch's fat arms, swinging one bare foot. "How do you know that she will come around? I don't even know exactly what that means in this context."

"She has always been…." Morgan sighed. "Overprotective is an understatement! My dad was the easygoing parent; she was the one who enforced the rules. After he died, she got a little strict every decision we made had to be carefully considered. From an adult perspective I can understand now how she was trying to cope with the loss of her husband and raise three kids at the same time but back then I just rebelled, run with the wrong crowd…"

Holding his breath, Reid leaned forward expecting to hear about the lost years, the ones Buford stole from him.

"She did the same thing when I wanted to join the football team and later the Academy. She worries about any of us getting hurt. It's her process."

"She thinks I will hurt you?"

"Baby, this is bigger than you. You could be any guy and she'd still struggle with the information."

_Guy?_ "Because I'm a man?"

"Leviticus 18:22"

Reid's heart sunk. "This is about religion?"

"Not entirely. I know religion doesn't feature in your life but it's a fact in hers. Coupled with my history with Carl Buford, a man we both trusted. Let's just say she was devastated when she found out, absolutely betrayed like she could have known what was going on and protected me somehow. But she couldn't have realized, no one could have. I hid it too well."

Morgan picked the remote needlessly positioning it on the coffee table, his discomfort glaring through the subconscious act.

Reid ached for him.

The rasp of Morgan hands on his jeans filled the room. "She's probably making a connection between what happened with him then and what's happening with you now. It's a fucked up situation but this is where we're at right now."

Reid clenched his jaw, crossing his arms across his chest. He tried to sit still and hold it together. It felt like so much was going wrong for them at the same time. Sure, he understood. Morgan was choosing him but at what cost? Not only was his job was in jeopardy; Reid was straining his relationship with his mother. The thought of the two of them against the world should have felt empowering but really it just sounded lonely. He was yanked out of his depressing thoughts by Morgan's hand on his arm, dragging Reid to his side.

Cupped his chin, Morgan pushed his head back until their eyes met. One gaze troubled, the other sure. "I never expected any of this to be easy." He said.

"But…"

"But nothing. Turn that brain off and listen to me. I have thought about this from every conceivable angle all I care about is you. Here with me. No matter what happens you and I are forever."

"What about your mom?" Reid insisted, tenacious.

"She loves me. She will do whatever she needs to in order to be okay with us."

Searching his eyes, Reid relaxed finding only surety. "You know you do that too."

"Do what?" Morgan murmured stroking his cheek.

"You withdraw and make decisions about us on your own. I can't tell what you're thinking." Reid hesitated especially when the seductive fingers faltered. "I hate it."

"Okay. I guess you have a point. I may be more like my mother than I thought, I'm not good at letting people in I never really thought about where I picked it up." He gave a rueful grin. "I may need a push every once in awhile to get me to open up. You only ever have to ask."

Relieved, Reid pushed into his arms.

"Aw!" Morgan huffed as a pointy elbow connected with his ribs. "What are you doing?"

"I am going to hug you." Reid shrank back a little embarrassed. "When I'm sad, I feel better when you hug me."

When Morgan opened his arms, he ducked under tucking against his chest. The dark thoughts he'd been harboring skittered back from the light as big hands rubbed his back in long hypnotic strokes. Nose nuzzled in the crook of Derek's neck, he squeezed tightly inhaling his intoxicating scent.

_You're supposed to be comforting him._ Reid reminded himself. "Is it working?" He asked.

He could feel the rumble of laughter against his chest. Morgan kissed his forehead. "Yes."

**For those of you that don't have access to a bible; Leviticus 18:22 states ****"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." KJV.**

**I have not seen the latest Morgan-centric episode that is set back in Chicago so I have no idea if there were any revelations about his family that I should have included.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Criminal Minds or its characters. This is fiction pure and simple.**

**I started and discarded so many different chapters as I debated where to take this story. Thank you for being patient while I sorted it out – Silverfox588, Medeia456, Irishgirl9, PeoplePersonImNot, IdontdanceIgrind, Jennycrum, SmcdsShipper19, Nannily, Sue1313, PinkHimLacus, Combatcrazy, Delia Cerrano, Wolfpawn, Shematthewholic, AlienTourist, Raeya, SweetTeeTwo, Al and Wolfpawn**

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**Virgin! Two: One Angel, Slightly Used**

**Chapter 38**

Reid patted the tactical vest covering Morgan's chest. The layers of woven fiber felt too flimsy under the soft pads of his fingertips. If he pushed deep enough he'd hit the hard armor plates. He knew exactly how they were supposed to work, deform the bullet, and absorb its energy slowing its impact before it penetrated the textile matrix. Extensive tests by highly trained scientists had determined that this vest would work – almost. Nothing was foolproof, bulletproof, bombproof…life proof.

"Reid?" Morgan's hand grabbed his, stilling the aimless inspection. "I'm going to be fine."

Making a noncommittal sound Reid pulled free glancing around, he could see JJ and Rossi poring over a map on the SUV's dark pulsing hood; Hotch was deep in conversation with the SWAT team leader. Police officers and federal agents swarmed about cordoning off the unruly panicked crowd and nosy reporters. They stood relatively sheltered at the back of the angled ATV, no one paying them the slightest bit of attention.

The sweltering heat in downtown Jackson Mississippi should have turned away most of the crowd but the sensationalist media had brought out the crazies in full force. And the resultant standoff with the bank robbers had resulted in the death of three innocent bystanders effectively ending the tentative negotiations and the FBI was now gearing up to engage in more excessive force. Morgan was. Reid got to sit on the sidelines and monitor the situation from the outside. If anything happened to him…he chewed furiously on his lower lip returning to his examination of flimsy vest.

"Reid? Look at me." Morgan urged. "Breathe." He ordered when Reid's eyes finally met his. The high-pitched whistle he'd been making through his nostrils slowed then stopped. "I will be just fine. _You_ need to stay out of the line of fire and be here – right here - when I get back."

Reid rubbed at a spot on his chest, his heart wrenching within its cage. If he let it, it might wriggle free and follow Morgan into the depths of the stone building hankering behind them, heck if he let it, it'd follow him everywhere. It was a dumb thing to think, let alone say. Who ever heard of hearts leaving bodies? It was a physical impossibility.

"Huh?" Morgan interrupted his mumbling.

Shaking his head, Reid dodged his question. He wasn't a poet or fanciful by nature, he was however a practical man. Grabbing the black helmet off the truck bed he shoved it at Morgan with an explicit, "I know I constantly indulge your indestructible delusion but _you_ are not Superman. Please be careful."

"You're cute when you're trying to be bossy."

Would he ever take his own mortality seriously? "Morgan…" He grumbled.

"Baby, if you're gonna worry about something, figure out how we are going to fit all our stuff under one roof."

Reid's head snapped up, his darting hands going motionless on the edge of his vest. "Um…" What? One roof? No. "Are you asking me to live with you?"

"Atta, genius!" Morgan said just as softly.

"Wait, this is how you ask me?" He had expected more fanfare, more debate. Out of the corner of his eye, Reid could see Hotch motioning for the team. It was a sudden jarring unwelcome reminder of where they were. "If you're doing this just to distract me…"

Grabbing his elbow Morgan turned him from the crowd, "I'm not messing with you." He whispered urgently. "Not about something this important."

"Oh!" Reid swallowed, elation climbing up his throat. In a daze, he stated the obvious. "I've never lived with anyone before." Morgan already knew his history. Alex. Now him. But it was such an intimate thing the mingling of lives, sharing of space, no safety net across town incase it didn't work out. While he dreamed of commitment and marriage, the realization of those private thoughts threw him for a loop. He was awkward and weird; no one ever wanted him around _permanently_.

Morgan turned as Hotch called for him. "I gotta go. Just –" He backed away. "Think about it."

Bewildered, Reid's mind had flitted to his overfilled apartment. "You can never have too many books." He mumbled. Mentally packing, he made room for himself in his boyfriend's home, a home that was already bulging with sports paraphernalia, shiny gadgets, a shocking amount of clothing and Clooney. There was no way they'd fit together comfortably. Unbidden his mind stole back to the colonial style home whose kitchen they'd violated so long ago. It had felt like home even then. Reid turned to ask but the troop of heavily armed agents was already disappearing into the distance. He could wait.

xxXxx

There was something about hospitals, Reid mused, the too bright lights or the night staffs dead eyes that inspired a bone deep terror inside of him. Or maybe it was the sporadic weeping that broke out from the islands of misery that populated the dense waiting room. JJ sat by his side, occasionally her hand slid over to squeeze his. It should have been reassuring. She didn't look worried which was good, Reid searched her eyes wishing he could have her conviction but he knew better. Life had a way of trampling him when he thought he was finally happy especially when he had to sit on the sidelines and wait. Boyfriends didn't get information access or health care decision rights. Morgan's family would get a call before Reid did and Fran Morgan hated him. She didn't know who he was but she hated him on principle. He would be low on the 'need to know' list if his partner died.

His eyes dropped to JJ's lips as she spoke. She had talked to him the entire ride to the hospital as well and Reid had nodded even if he couldn't hear a word she said. The buzzing in his head inundated every corner; it started after the loud explosion rocked Republic Bank and Trust and shoved no sign of ceasing. It took everything Reid had to just sit upright and not end up in a mewling ball on the floor. Shivering hard he focused on sucking in one desperate breath after another drawing in the sour smell of disinfectant and death that seeped up from the floors.

When Hotch stopped in front of him, Reid shot to his feet. Interpreting his wordless gesture, he hurried past him took a sharp corner and burst into the examination room. Finally skidding to a stop, chest heaving at the sight of his love seated shirtless on the trolley bed. A black shoulder brace slashed across Morgan's chest almost blending with the dark bruises that covered his sternum and crept down to his abdomen. Brand new lines creased his forehead, soot covering the rest. The nurse who'd been fussing over him took one look at Reid and quickly packed up, leaving them alone like she'd never been there at all.

"It looks a lot worse than it is."

Reid wondered how Morgan could smile at all through the rasp in his throat. How he could still try to soothe him when…his breath hitched sending pain ricocheting through his chest. "I waited." He replied. "I waited and you didn't come out." He wasn't aware of much after the unsub had tried to blast his way to freedom. There was blood on his hands and knees from where he'd searched through the mangled bodies…shaking his head Reid stopped. Breathed.

The reassuring smile slipped off Morgan's face replaced by a painful understanding. "I'm okay."

"For now." Tentative steps brought him to his side. "You're okay for now."

When Morgan yanked him closing the distance between them and engulfed him in a deep shivering kiss, Reid trembled dying to shove up against him so he could believe that this was real. He had survived. They had survived.

"I know you hate it." Morgan rambled. His uninjured hand cupped his cheek, calming him and holding him in place. "I know you still want to quit."

Reid tried to squirm away from the painful truth in his eyes but even incapacitated, Morgan was still a lot stronger than him.

"Baby, your heart is not in it anymore and it is selfish of me to want you around all the time, you know. Maybe that's why I tease you so much. I thought maybe if you had more fun at work, laughed a lil more…" He shrugged then hissed through his teeth at the movement.

"I'm not –" Reid paused at the cusp of his token reply, he could lie, claim he just needed a vacation or time but it wouldn't change the truth. His priorities had changed. The desire for a home and family took precedence. He had a chance to build all that with the man he loved, a chance to have the normal stable family that he never had as a child. Only a fool would waste the second chance he'd been given. "I refuse to be ashamed of the fact that I'm afraid to lose you."

An impasse. At some point, one of them would have to give. He sighed letting go as Morgan found his mouth for a long lazy kiss.

"Let's go home." Morgan smiled. "I could use a sponge bath."


End file.
